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A woman from my past called me up last night. It's been years since our affair but I've never forgotten the way she looked, the amazing sex and the things we used to do to each other... imagine how I felt when she suggested we picked up where we left off.
I felt I should be honest and explained I wasn't the man she once knew, having gain a spare tyre and a bald patch. She giggled girlishly and said not to worry as she too had put on a few pounds....
So I told her to fuck off
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