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Dear IRS,
Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600 for a toilet seat.
I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 5.5" Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws enclosed for your convenience.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer
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