1. Bureaucrats
Bureaucrats are pointless twats
In the old days they wore bowler hats
Now on email they just chat
Verdict: Spastic - have some of that.
A bureaucrat, after I've rammed an apple through his face
2. Blogs
Blogs are fecking shite, and gay
Who could give a bugger, pray
About your life, so dull and gray?
No-one.
Verdict: Spastic. Yay!
She's alright, but most will now be eradicated
3. Men in Thongs
Fellas wearing fecking thongs?
That just seems so fecking wrong
Plus, they're in that rubbish song
Verdict: Spastic (as in, mong).
Due for Termination
4. Gene Simmons
I don't know who Simmons is
He looks like he's been soaked in jizz
His real name, though, is Chaim Witz
Not Spastic, then, cos we're both yids.
Simmons: Clearly spasticated, but gets away with it cos I'm biased towards Israel
5. Nike
Nike may be evil yanks
We need them though, to pay off banks
Due to Malcolm Glazer (thanks)
Verdict: Not Spastic. I'm off for a wank.
The tick is not always entirely apt