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>An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
>Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
>Old Lady: Oh, I see.
>Officer: Can I see your license please?
>Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
>Officer: Don't have one?
>Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
>Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
>Old Lady: I can't do that.
>Officer: Why not?
>Old Lady: I stole this car.
>Officer: Stole it?
>Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>Officer: You what?
>Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
>to see.
>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
>calls for back up.
>Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
>A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn
>gun.
>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
>The woman steps out of her vehicle.
>Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
>murdered the owner.
>Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
>The officer is quite stunned.
>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
>llicense.
>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
>it to the officer.
>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
>a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
>the owner.
>Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
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