Originally Posted by Stanley Road

Subject: Nun Golfer

A nun walks into her Mother Superior's office and plops into a chair, letting out a heavy sigh of frustration. "What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spend with your family." "It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ." "I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?" "Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!" "Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!" "Well, we were on the fifth tee -- and this hole is a monster, Mother, 540 yards, par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green -- and I hit the drive of my life. I mean I creamed it -- the sweetest swing I ever made -- and it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted. Then it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!" "Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!" "No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!" "Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother. "But I didn't, Mother Superior!" rejoined the Sister. "I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel, who was still clutching the ball in its paws, and flies off!" "So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing nod. "No, no, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel began struggling, and the hawk dropped it right there on the green. The ball popped out of its paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!" Solemnly, Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed a baleful stare on the Sister and said coldly... "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you!"