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Golfing Terminology . . .
· A *Paris Hilton* - an expensive hole
· A *Dennis Wise* - a nasty 5 footer
· A *Salman Rushdie* - an impossible read
· A *Rock Hudson* - looked straight, but it wasn't
· A *Cuban* - needed one more revolution
· An *Adolf Hitler* - two shots in the bunker
· A *Saddam Hussein* - from one bunker straight into another
· A *Yasser Arafat* - ugly and in the sand
· A *Kate Winslett* - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
· A *Gerry Adams* - playing a Provisional
· A *Glen Miller* - didn't make it over the water
· An *Arthur Scargill* - a great strike but a poor result
· A *Russell Grant* - a fat iron
· A *Rodney King* - over-clubbed
· An *O.J. Simpson* - got away with it
· A *Princess Grace* - should have taken a driver
· A *Princess Di* - shouldn't have taken a driver
· A *Robin Cook* - just died on the hill
· A *Michael Jackson* - gradually fading
· A *Douglas Bader* - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
· A *Ken Livingstone* - quite far left
· A *Jean-Marie LePen* - a long way right
· A *Ladyboy* - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
· A *condom* - safe but didn't feel real good
· A *circus tent* - a BIG top
· An *Anna Kournikova* - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
· A *Vinnie Jones* - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
· A *Sally Gunnell* - ugly, but a good runner
· A *Liz McColgan* - Ugly but runs forever
· A* Brazilian* - Shaves both sides of the hole
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