Portugese agent: 'A club is interested in buying Boswinga, is he available? What price?'
Porto suit: 'He can go for 10 million - which club?'
Portugese agent: 'That Russian one - Chelsea'
Porto suit: 'Haha hahahaha haha - that bunch of gullible gloryhunting fuckwits - better chuck another six million on the price tag.'
Porto suit (into phone) 'Hello - can I order a crate of your finest Vinho and a bunch of strippers - I'm having a party...'