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Plechazunga · 12th December 2003, 16:59

From The Mirror

Welsh police have slammed fantasy nerdfest 'Lord of the Rings' for the terrible rise in cruelty to animals in the Pontypridd area.

Spokesman Iain Chythygh said, 'There's definitely a link. We think the atrocities are the work of one man, and our psychologists have been able to build up a fairly detailed profile. We're looking at someone who fantasises about being an elvin hodgobblin-type bod, in some pseudo-Celtic never-neverland, probably invented by a mad old bugger in Oxford who couldn't get laid. This guy is troubled, living in a fantasy world - we reckon he's unemployed, gay, probably quite fat, and obsessed with curing his hideous anal eczema problems by tormenting rare mammals in impossibly complicated ways.

Forensic scientists have established that the animals themselves are generally aardvarks, though they have had to rely on dental records and aftershave-contaminiated blood smeared on grandfather clocks. Mr. Chythygh appealed to the public, 'Do not approach this man, he is very repetitive and may distress you. We desperately want to talk to him - actually we don't really want to talk to him at all. We wish he'd go away'.

Davo is 29, and never buys his own.

12th December 2003, 16:59	#89 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: In the principality is chief executive of David evroshampiona Gil. Posts: 49,808	From The Mirror Welsh police have slammed fantasy nerdfest 'Lord of the Rings' for the terrible rise in cruelty to animals in the Pontypridd area. Spokesman Iain Chythygh said, 'There's definitely a link. We think the atrocities are the work of one man, and our psychologists have been able to build up a fairly detailed profile. We're looking at someone who fantasises about being an elvin hodgobblin-type bod, in some pseudo-Celtic never-neverland, probably invented by a mad old bugger in Oxford who couldn't get laid. This guy is troubled, living in a fantasy world - we reckon he's unemployed, gay, probably quite fat, and obsessed with curing his hideous anal eczema problems by tormenting rare mammals in impossibly complicated ways. Forensic scientists have established that the animals themselves are generally aardvarks, though they have had to rely on dental records and aftershave-contaminiated blood smeared on grandfather clocks. Mr. Chythygh appealed to the public, 'Do not approach this man, he is very repetitive and may distress you. We desperately want to talk to him - actually we don't really want to talk to him at all. We wish he'd go away'. Davo is 29, and never buys his own.