RedCafe.net

Friday

Irwynwastheking — Fri, 24 May 2013 13:13:10 GMT

Well that was odd

Wibble — Fri, 24 May 2013 13:08:41 GMT

I was on my way home from work and while walking through Central Station in Sydney to get my train some man in his mid 20's was having a very loud and agitated conversation on his iPhone using, I kid you not, the speakerphone option. I was thinking about telling him to stop being a dick when he ended the call. I then started going through the automatic ticket gate and the same twat pushes me from behind really hard in an attempt to get through before the automatic gate shuts again (I assume that he had no ticket). Being not insignificant in size and a stubborn prick I leaned back hard and turned to give him a mouthful but before I could say "What the F...." he lunged at me (or at least towards me) with a sort of punch/slap/grasp but he was brought up short by the now closed barrier. Not being sure what is going on I grabbed him by the throat and internally debated snotting him, at which point 2 coppers jumped on him, threw him to the ground and cuffed him.

After a few seconds they have him in cuffs, face down on the ground with a knee in his back. One Copper then apologises to me for not letting me beat the crap out of him but they otherwise seem uninterested in me and don't even want my details. I don't know if they were looking for this idiot or if they just saw him push me or what. All very odd.

If you were manager of Manchester United...

ciderman9000000 — Fri, 24 May 2013 12:28:47 GMT

...what would you do?

Say you'd just been appointed a SAF's replacement, what would you do if you were in charge?

The caf knows best, right? It's up to other posters to decide whether or not you get the sack based upon your suggestions; get an arbitrary number of callings for the sack and you're immediately shown the door.

How would you handle the Rooney situation? Who would you transfer in/out? What tactics would you employ? etc.

Try to be realistic because unrealistic suggestions might get you the sack. You might also get the sack for being too realistic in your approach though, so be warned.

FAO Women (and men): Is this twattish?

noodlehair — Fri, 24 May 2013 11:58:45 GMT

Turning up for a friend's wedding reception 2 hours late because your boyfriend (who neither of the people getting married know) wants to watch the football first...then just openly telling the groom you're only actually turning up at all to nose at what another friend's partner looks like.

I need to know whether I'm out of place before I open my mouth on this issue.

I think it's slightly pathetic and if it was me I'd have told them not to bother coming.

Coentrao to leave Real

Moyespopper — Fri, 24 May 2013 11:13:20 GMT

Quote:

Speaking to Ojogo in his homeland, Coentrao said: "From the first day I do not think I was wanted here.
"Today it seems that everyone wants me to leave the club. I do not know what I have done wrong.
"We must find a solution that is good for both the club and myself, so that no one will lose out."
Coentrao was asked about the prospect of following Mourinho to Chelsea, and he admitted he would not rule it out.
"If I leave Real Madrid, I do not close the door to anyone," he said.

Yes please but surely Chelsea bound?

Happy Birthday Eric - 47 years young

Red Hand Devil — Fri, 24 May 2013 10:54:43 GMT

Phelan & Steele leaving United today?

Red Hand Devil — Fri, 24 May 2013 09:27:51 GMT

Anyone heard this?

An advertising trend I've noticed

Kinky Melinky — Fri, 24 May 2013 08:29:55 GMT

6 months ago and earlier the advertisements on the side of the Caf and other sites were offering me young, horny girls in my area. I've noticed a gradual move to 'Mature' babes.

What the fuck is going on? I'm 35 tomorrow but hardly bleedin "mature"

Strootman or Fellaini?

ByronSteve — Fri, 24 May 2013 06:54:37 GMT

Marouane Fellaini or Kevin Strootman?

It was reported in early April that David Moyes was fighting it out with Alex Ferguson to sign Kevin Strootman for next season. This, if true would be a very good guide to which one, Strootman or Fellaini we will go for, now that Moyes is our boss.

Watching these videos of both the players, only strengthens my opinion that Strootman would be the best of the two, by far and would do a great job for us, as a box to box midfielder.

Western Europe

Donaldo — Fri, 24 May 2013 05:44:24 GMT

I'm planning a 12-15 day trip in July. Due to the paucity of time, I'll be looking at covering only a few countries and cities, of which Barca will be the first. Plan to spend some time in Spain, and also Amsterdam for a couple of days in the middle. The rest is pretty much up for grabs.

Recommend some must visit countries and cities to me, you cnuts.

Earthquake!

Grinner — Fri, 24 May 2013 03:48:52 GMT

I am currently feeling an earthquake which is unusual for Sacramento. Could be a big one going off somewhere.

Worst player 2012/13

duffer — Thu, 23 May 2013 22:20:41 GMT

Worst player

Worst transfer

Worst loan

Worst manager

Go!

Want to make some extra cash on the side? (NO BS)

Ronaldo's Mum Eh? — Thu, 23 May 2013 22:09:42 GMT

Okay lads, let me start off by saying this is not a scam, it's not bullshit. At first I thought it was, but upon further research via google, I found it's legit.

Here's how it works:

Basically what happens is, you join.. fill out a couple quick profiling surveys (very important to do them) and once in a while you'll get an email to do a survey. These surveys pay anywhere from 2$ to 50$ (surveys in 10-25$ range are quite common actually). You might get one every other day, once a week... really varies and could be often or not often at all.

The minimum payout is 1.00$ with no maximum... but you DO get a cheque (you can use google to verify this if you don't believe me). Very quick and it can be an extra 50-200$ a month for doing minimal work.

I will PM you the registration link if you're interested. Only reason because I'm not sure if the link is allowed on here so I'll PM you it.

Key point: Get lots of referrals... get your referral link, post it where ever, advertise, give to friends. A strong referral base can provide an excellent bonus. The people you refer do not gain or lose anything, however you do get bonus pay for doing so.

Again, I will PM you the registration link if you're interested.

If you have any questions or anything, shoot me a PM.

E3 2013

esmufc14 — Thu, 23 May 2013 19:28:34 GMT

Conferences:

Konami
Thursday, June 6 - 10:30 AM PDT / 1:30 PM EDT / 6:30 PM BST / 7:30 PM CET

Microsoft
Monday, June 10 - 9:30 AM PDT / 12:30 PM EDT / 5:30 PM BST / 6:30 PM CET

Electronic Arts
Monday, June 10 - 1:00 PM PDT / 4:00 PM EDT / 9:00 PM BST / 10:00 PM CET

Ubisoft
Monday, June 10 - 3:00 PM PDT / 6:00 PM EDT / 11:00 PM BST / 12:00 AM CET

Sony
Monday, June 10 - 6:00 PM PDT / 9:00 PM EDT / 2:00 AM BST / 3:00 AM CET

Nintendo
Tuesday, June 11 - 7:00 AM PDT / 10:00 AM EDT / 3:00 PM BST / 4:00 PM CET

I can't seem to find a definitive confirmed games list yet, and I'll be fucked if I'm typing it out and not doing a copy and paste job so I'll update the OP when I find one.

Despite the last few being crap, I'm looking forward to Final Fantasy and of course seeing the PS4. Nintendo don't have a press conference per se, they're just showing off a few titles. Microsoft, well, the less said the better really.

Pipe Smoking (No drug talk. Not for juniors)

verminater — Thu, 23 May 2013 18:21:37 GMT

Pipe Smoking.

Just returned to the world of pipe tobacco. So much more relaxing than cigarettes. I don't inhale like I do with ciggies, so no coughing up "eggs".

I don't know any other pipe smokers, and was wondering if the Caf had any resident tobacco/pipe connoisseurs, to share notes and tips.

No muppetry please.