A Christmas Cafrol

utdalltheway · 14th December 2005, 18:38

Here were Charlie’s Devils, and Ed, and the Sultan of Sikh. Blythy, Weastedevil, giggzy and Dans got on their arses and posted more than once a year. And what a hive of activity it was! Twenty-Sixth Of was trying to build a fence, Davo was trying to get rid of his rubble, JSV was doing the ironing and painting his nails...And such romance! Couples were getting it on all over the place, handsome youth with winsome damsel, bluff fireman with big-mouthed slapper, morose Scouser with rude cow. What a joy it was to peruse the threads, with titles like, “My wife’s fanny-farts sound like motorbikes and smell like Wensleydale.” Slabberneezer found himself laughing, crying, bleeding and puking all at once…it was beautiful. “Fuck me,” he said to himself, “Stan used to be funny.”

brilliant.

14th December 2005, 18:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by crappycraperson

I still haven't.

and this :
"yaps got gund down by mcvitEz"

Gunned down by Mcvities (sp?) the biscuit(not cock) company, because of his letters.

Not too sure about the Bz Bin Bz thing though.

Barbara Charles · 14th December 2005, 18:41

Plech: truly a great effort and worth taking those weeks of exile to write same. This truly belongs in the classic threads section. Congratulations. And thanks for the dubious mention, spastard. XXX B

J2F · 14th December 2005, 18:46

Really good.

Grinner · 14th December 2005, 18:50

What a giant waste of time.

Rams · 14th December 2005, 18:52

feckinell Plech, it's probably the best bit of story line ever written but I really can't be arsed to read all that.

Big Andy · 14th December 2005, 18:59

spasmo...

Its good, but only because I'm in it...

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 19:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grinner

What a giant waste of time.

Fair point

noodlehair · 14th December 2005, 19:15

There's another laughing green face for you bignose. If fairness, it's well merited. Superb stuff.

Gay spastic

Murt · 14th December 2005, 19:18

i obviously havnt read it all, but the little bit i did was class.

YOu should write short stories and sell em.

Nialler · 14th December 2005, 19:33

I've just sped-read it as I'm minding the young lad, very good, great characterisations, up to your usual high standards, well done you work shy spasmo

Grinner · 14th December 2005, 19:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Fair point

I reckon you could write professionally if you could be arsed.

DEB · 14th December 2005, 19:56

Excellent story, Plech. Well done. Despite the fact that I wasn't in it.

marcus agrippa · 14th December 2005, 20:00

“Merry Christmas, Slabberneezer!” said Stamford Bridge. “Looks like it’s going to be a white one!”

“That’s racist,” replied Slabberneezer, “BNP cnut. Fuck off…Cockbiscuit.”

Plech...waaaay too much time on your hands. great read.

Livvie · 14th December 2005, 20:45

I didnt have a very big part.

(A bit like Davo, so the word is.

)

Plech - this afternoon I was going to do A Christmas Carol for the caf! I won't now though - can't follow that.

redcharlie · 14th December 2005, 22:22

Great stuff, Zunga.

You're the Olga Korbut of wordsmiths.

I've said before, your ink......er, keyboard, is wasted on here

Retirantmobs · 14th December 2005, 22:37

Read Stave 1 and half of 2, very good Pletch.

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 22:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murt

i obviously havnt read it all, but the little bit i did was class.

YOu should write short stories and sell em.

Thank you...and you to Grinner for the sentiment

However, I'm not sure there's a massive market for spastic-themed tales from the internet

Chaz...who's Olga Korbut?

14th December 2005, 22:44

So what's the Bz Bin Bz supposed to be?

Big Andy · 14th December 2005, 22:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Thank you...and you to Grinner for the sentiment

However, I'm not sure there's a massive market for spastic-themed tales from the internet

Chaz...who's Olga Korbut?

I'd buy a spastic related tale...

redcharlie · 14th December 2005, 22:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Thank you...and you to Grinner for the sentiment

However, I'm not sure there's a massive market for spastic-themed tales from the internet

Chaz...who's Olga Korbut?

She was the first superstar gymnast........... from the Munich Olympics '72.....from Belarus.

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 22:49

Yes but Andy, you'd buy a Ronaldo shirt

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dubai_Devil

So what's the Bz Bin Bz supposed to be?

"Bees being bees"

14th December 2005, 22:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Yes but Andy, you'd buy a Ronaldo shirt

"Bees being bees"

Oh, I thought it was something deeper than that.

I think I give you too much credit sometimes.

MelvinYeo · 14th December 2005, 22:52

Just read through all that, brilliant stuff.

Shame I wasn't in it unlike last year

VanNistelrater · 14th December 2005, 22:54

I prefered it when I was Jesus.

Davo · 14th December 2005, 23:09

Very good, some cracking abuse in there..

Also didn't get the bees bit. And the text talk was annoying, despite it being a pisstake. In fact, I believe text speak is outlawed on here

Ban him mod gimps

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 23:09

Davo's going to post in a sec, saying he can't be arsed to read it and/or it's shit

Davo · 14th December 2005, 23:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Davo's going to post in a sec, saying he can't be arsed to read it and/or it's shit

Now you look even more of a cnut than you did with that text speak

Gaytard

Davo · 14th December 2005, 23:14

I like the abuse levelled at birds best...

and this verse

These three mongs, are causing distress:
Boring, Marching, DJS
Football forum, futile mo-orons
Feck off to Inverness

VanNistelrater · 14th December 2005, 23:15

That's shit.

Inverness?

Get off the stage.

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 23:18

I stand corrected

I like the bees line..."Nah...just bees being bees"

Made me laugh

cnuts

Davo · 14th December 2005, 23:19

Who was the current spirit supposed to be?

Plechazunga · 14th December 2005, 23:20

Robbo

Davo · 14th December 2005, 23:20

Really?

Hang on

Wibble · 15th December 2005, 00:20

Excellent

Big Andy · 15th December 2005, 00:25

I didn't add a smilie to my previous posts...

it deserves one...

14th December 2005, 18:38	#41 (permalink)
utdalltheway First Team Sub Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: USA (orig. Cobh) Posts: 5,985	Here were Charlie’s Devils, and Ed, and the Sultan of Sikh. Blythy, Weastedevil, giggzy and Dans got on their arses and posted more than once a year. And what a hive of activity it was! Twenty-Sixth Of was trying to build a fence, Davo was trying to get rid of his rubble, JSV was doing the ironing and painting his nails...And such romance! Couples were getting it on all over the place, handsome youth with winsome damsel, bluff fireman with big-mouthed slapper, morose Scouser with rude cow. What a joy it was to peruse the threads, with titles like, “My wife’s fanny-farts sound like motorbikes and smell like Wensleydale.” Slabberneezer found himself laughing, crying, bleeding and puking all at once…it was beautiful. “Fuck me,” he said to himself, “Stan used to be funny.” brilliant.

14th December 2005, 18:41	#43 (permalink)
Barbara Charles Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Philadelphia, USA Posts: 3,737	Plech: truly a great effort and worth taking those weeks of exile to write same. This truly belongs in the classic threads section. Congratulations. And thanks for the dubious mention, spastard. XXX B

14th December 2005, 18:46	#44 (permalink)
J2F Banned Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 699	Really good.

14th December 2005, 18:50	#45 (permalink)
Grinner fat gutted, hairy shouldered stinky arse Join Date: May 2003 Location: Kevin Costner - Prince of Cunts Posts: 11,581	What a giant waste of time.

14th December 2005, 18:52	#46 (permalink)
Rams extremely handsome, intelligent and talented poster Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: midtable anonymity Posts: 26,102	feckinell Plech, it's probably the best bit of story line ever written but I really can't be arsed to read all that.

14th December 2005, 18:59	#47 (permalink)
Big Andy Yid Bang Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Officially the Best and Funniest Poster 2005 Posts: 28,031	spasmo... Its good, but only because I'm in it...

14th December 2005, 19:15	#49 (permalink)
noodlehair Fired? Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Posts: 30,059	There's another laughing green face for you bignose. If fairness, it's well merited. Superb stuff. Gay spastic

14th December 2005, 19:18	#50 (permalink)
Murt Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Dimmer than Welsh Red Posts: 17,081	i obviously havnt read it all, but the little bit i did was class. YOu should write short stories and sell em.

14th December 2005, 19:33	#51 (permalink)
Nialler Alex's Dad Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Nyler Posts: 8,786	I've just sped-read it as I'm minding the young lad, very good, great characterisations, up to your usual high standards, well done you work shy spasmo

14th December 2005, 19:56	#53 (permalink)
DEB Does Old Trafford Join Date: May 2004 Location: Back in the Bay Area!! Posts: 1,978	Excellent story, Plech. Well done. Despite the fact that I wasn't in it.

14th December 2005, 20:00	#54 (permalink)
marcus agrippa Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2005 Location: "Clattenburg!- Jesus God!" - SAF Posts: 4,951	“Merry Christmas, Slabberneezer!” said Stamford Bridge. “Looks like it’s going to be a white one!” “That’s racist,” replied Slabberneezer, “BNP cnut. Fuck off…Cockbiscuit.” Plech...waaaay too much time on your hands. great read.

14th December 2005, 20:45	#55 (permalink)
Livvie Executive Manager being kept sane only by her madness Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Someone said that half of Caf members were thick. It's not true. Half of you aren't thick at all. Posts: 27,491	I didnt have a very big part. (A bit like Davo, so the word is. ) Plech - this afternoon I was going to do A Christmas Carol for the caf! I won't now though - can't follow that.

14th December 2005, 22:22	#56 (permalink)
redcharlie Top Bloke Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Stalking Kathleen Turner Posts: 10,539	Great stuff, Zunga. You're the Olga Korbut of wordsmiths. I've said before, your ink......er, keyboard, is wasted on here

14th December 2005, 22:37	#57 (permalink)
Retirantmobs Stokke Stalker - smells of fish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 16,590	Read Stave 1 and half of 2, very good Pletch.

14th December 2005, 22:44	#59 (permalink)
Dubai_Devil Posts: n/a	So what's the Bz Bin Bz supposed to be?

14th December 2005, 22:52	#64 (permalink)
MelvinYeo I'm only here for the post count Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 13,981	Just read through all that, brilliant stuff. Shame I wasn't in it unlike last year

14th December 2005, 22:54	#65 (permalink)
VanNistelrater Poncey film buff Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Combatting ignorance, dust and disease \| MUFC Champions 2006/2007: Where will the goals come from?\| Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerily out of obscurity into the dream Posts: 26,165	I prefered it when I was Jesus.

14th December 2005, 23:09	#66 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	Very good, some cracking abuse in there.. Also didn't get the bees bit. And the text talk was annoying, despite it being a pisstake. In fact, I believe text speak is outlawed on here Ban him mod gimps

14th December 2005, 23:09	#67 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,497	Davo's going to post in a sec, saying he can't be arsed to read it and/or it's shit

14th December 2005, 23:14	#69 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	I like the abuse levelled at birds best... and this verse These three mongs, are causing distress: Boring, Marching, DJS Football forum, futile mo-orons Feck off to Inverness

14th December 2005, 23:15	#70 (permalink)
VanNistelrater Poncey film buff Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Combatting ignorance, dust and disease \| MUFC Champions 2006/2007: Where will the goals come from?\| Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerily out of obscurity into the dream Posts: 26,165	That's shit. Inverness? Get off the stage.

14th December 2005, 23:18	#71 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,497	I stand corrected I like the bees line..."Nah...just bees being bees" Made me laugh cnuts

14th December 2005, 23:19	#72 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	Who was the current spirit supposed to be?

14th December 2005, 23:20	#73 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,497	Robbo

14th December 2005, 23:20	#74 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	Really? Hang on

15th December 2005, 00:20	#75 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,785	Excellent

15th December 2005, 00:25	#76 (permalink)
Big Andy Yid Bang Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Officially the Best and Funniest Poster 2005 Posts: 28,031	I didn't add a smilie to my previous posts... it deserves one...