The Communal Story Thread

Plechazunga · 29th July 2004, 10:04

Consequences, or whatever you call it. But respect the rules....or else I'll send an elite squad of posters to make your life a misery by following you round the forum rubbishing your opinions and calling you gay.

The rules are:

1. One person posts a sentence. A cocking sentence, not a paragraph. Doesn't have to be one LINE, but one SENTENCE, alright thickos out there? Doesn't have to be a complete sentence either, could be a word.

2. You can't reply to your own post. If you do it gets boring. Unless it's 3am and it's just you and Van in here, try to let a few people post before you, you cunt. Second thoughts if it's just you and Van, you can break this rule.

3. Don't make it too fecking random...if every line's random surreal shit, Rams will enjoy it but no-one else will.

4. Try not to post really crap things.

5. If the Obscenity Quotient seems to be falling, rectify the situation. Stan is in charge of this if it starts not getting out of hand.

6. If you insist on posting other shit that's not in the story, like spastic comments along the lines of "I wuz goin 2 say that!" or "LMAO", make the story bit bold so people don't have to read the other shite.

Thank you, you bunch of cnuts.

Right...er...

Once upon a time there was a big fat man called 26th May 1999, who used to drink beer in a shed in Warrington all day.

Davo · 29th July 2004, 10:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plechazunga

Consequences, or whatever you call it. But respect the rules....or else I'll send an elite squad of posters to make your life a misery by following you round the forum rubbishing your opinions and calling you gay.

Once upon a time there was a big fat man called 26th May 1999, who used to drink beer in a shed in Warrington all day.

And for the current spastics who suffer this fate anyway, if you break the rule robbo will eat your eyes

The fat bloke decided to go on a diet, after becoming annoyed at the abuse his postal colleagues gave him on a daily basis..."You fat fecker", "You big, fat, feckin cnut" and "You're the fattest feckin cnut I've ever seen and I'm an American" being prime examples

Bury Red · 29th July 2004, 10:19

Happy in his shed, 26's only communication with the outside world, save for the occasional foray to Asda for more Tennants Super, was on internet forums.

Wobbly · 29th July 2004, 10:22

Looking for the latest conspiracey about Pierce Brosnan, and if he was really a Pangolin in human form.

Rams · 29th July 2004, 10:24

He was heavily marshalled by his wife, who gave him 5-pound pocket money a week to spend on fry-ups.

Davo · 29th July 2004, 10:27

"Here's your fiver, you big fat cnut" she said "Now go out and try and stay out of trouble....fatso"

Rams · 29th July 2004, 10:33

So 26 went off is way down the slums of Warrington looking for a caffateria, when all of a sudden he saw a Tesco's delivery van speeding down the road at 2mph.

Wobbly · 29th July 2004, 10:34

Upon crossing the road to the greasy spoon cafe, 26 was nearly run over by a large lorry, but he new it was going to miss, because it had "Dodge" wrtitten on the front.

Bury Red · 29th July 2004, 10:34

"I'm sick of all this name calling" he thought "I know, I'll go on a diet and get myself a personal trainer from Redcafe"

Davo · 29th July 2004, 10:36

Storytelling can get a bit disjointed if everyone speaks at the same time, he thought to himself...as the Tesco driver shouted "Out the way you porky motherfecker"

Bury Red · 29th July 2004, 10:41

"You cheeky little spiky haired prick" shouted the postie "Is that my internet order of beer you've got there? 'kin three days to deliver it you cunt, where'd you bring it from, 'kin Bristol?"

Davo · 29th July 2004, 10:48

"Feck you fat cnut" the spiky haired driver replied "At least we don't lose it like Royal Mail....you probably work there, judging by how fat you are....you fat feck"

Wobbly · 29th July 2004, 10:50

"Shut up you cunt" said 26, "ive boned your wife good and hard".

Rams · 29th July 2004, 10:51

Just as Simon the Driver and 26 were about to have a fisty cuffs, a whore approched them from the pavement. "Two pond and I'll give you the time of your life!" said Liz.

Davo · 29th July 2004, 10:53

"You have to pay double mind " The whore said to our hero "Cos there's effectively 2 of you"

Plechazunga · 29th July 2004, 10:53

Upset by the constant taunts and lack of quality customer service in the Warrington area, 26 decided he would build a fence between himself and the World.

Stanley Road · 29th July 2004, 10:58

So he hired a builder to take care of this act

Wobbly · 29th July 2004, 10:59

26 liked the idea that his wall should have arches.

Davo · 29th July 2004, 11:03

Big arches, so he could get his hulking frame through them.....Christ he was hungry

29th July 2004, 11:07

So hungry, for Plech. He wanted his cock so much!

EricTheRed · 29th July 2004, 11:12

Upon realising his (not so) hidden homosexual tendancies, 26th decided to ditch the postie job & get himself down the docks to start work in his new career as a paid cock-gobbler for sailors.

Wibble · 29th July 2004, 11:15

Having earned only sixpence in his first week as a cock gobbler 26th decided a new career was in order.

cD · 29th July 2004, 11:17

He took a hike to the local pub

Plechazunga · 29th July 2004, 11:18

So he was sat in the beer garden of the shed-pub, behind his fence, trying to think of a new job, when all of a sudden a screech and girly yelp marked the arrival of...

Wibble · 29th July 2004, 11:20

A fat red headed welsh cnut

Stanley Road · 29th July 2004, 11:22

With a bandage on his hand covering a 2mm scar

Wibble · 29th July 2004, 11:24

Due to having a life size tattoo of his penis removed by lazer surgery

Honest John · 29th July 2004, 11:25

"Get the fecking chip pan on 26" said Davo. "I haven't eaten since the Everything-in-the-shop burger I had 15 minutes ago and I'm kin hank marvin"

29th July 2004, 11:26

Then I walked in!

Honest John · 29th July 2004, 11:28

"Great!" They replied in unison. "Weaste can cook the chips we'll drink beer"

cD · 29th July 2004, 11:28

hand in hand with Maria Sharapova

29th July 2004, 11:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by cd

hand in hand with Maria Sharapova

With a huuuuuge hard on!

Plechazunga · 29th July 2004, 11:30

"What's that missile-shaped thing in the sky?" said Weaste suddenly, dropping his chip pan, and also his trousers, in the hope that the hot fat would grease his shithole enough for him to be buggered by an oncoming terrorist projectile.

Honest John · 29th July 2004, 11:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeasteDevil

With a huuuuuge hard on!

because unbeknown to Weaste Maria was in fact a bloke

29th July 2004, 11:33

Good this!

It's getting exciting, and I'm getting a hard on!

Honest John · 29th July 2004, 11:35

"Thats 26's hotdog being airlifted in" said Davo, drooling uncontrollably

29th July 2004, 10:04	#1 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,498	The Communal Story Thread Consequences, or whatever you call it. But respect the rules....or else I'll send an elite squad of posters to make your life a misery by following you round the forum rubbishing your opinions and calling you gay. The rules are: 1. One person posts a sentence. A cocking sentence, not a paragraph. Doesn't have to be one LINE, but one SENTENCE, alright thickos out there? Doesn't have to be a complete sentence either, could be a word. 2. You can't reply to your own post. If you do it gets boring. Unless it's 3am and it's just you and Van in here, try to let a few people post before you, you cunt. Second thoughts if it's just you and Van, you can break this rule. 3. Don't make it too fecking random...if every line's random surreal shit, Rams will enjoy it but no-one else will. 4. Try not to post really crap things. 5. If the Obscenity Quotient seems to be falling, rectify the situation. Stan is in charge of this if it starts not getting out of hand. 6. If you insist on posting other shit that's not in the story, like spastic comments along the lines of "I wuz goin 2 say that!" or "LMAO", make the story bit bold so people don't have to read the other shite. Thank you, you bunch of cnuts. Right...er... Once upon a time there was a big fat man called 26th May 1999, who used to drink beer in a shed in Warrington all day.

29th July 2004, 10:19	#3 (permalink)
Bury Red Backs Fergie, Yells Giggs! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Singapore Posts: 7,492	Happy in his shed, 26's only communication with the outside world, save for the occasional foray to Asda for more Tennants Super, was on internet forums.

29th July 2004, 10:22	#4 (permalink)
Wobbly First Team Regular Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The real peoples favourite and most funniest poster of 2005.. Posts: 11,126	Looking for the latest conspiracey about Pierce Brosnan, and if he was really a Pangolin in human form.

29th July 2004, 10:24	#5 (permalink)
Rams extremely handsome, intelligent and talented poster Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: midtable anonymity Posts: 26,012	He was heavily marshalled by his wife, who gave him 5-pound pocket money a week to spend on fry-ups.

29th July 2004, 10:27	#6 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	"Here's your fiver, you big fat cnut" she said "Now go out and try and stay out of trouble....fatso"

29th July 2004, 10:33	#7 (permalink)
Rams extremely handsome, intelligent and talented poster Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: midtable anonymity Posts: 26,012	So 26 went off is way down the slums of Warrington looking for a caffateria, when all of a sudden he saw a Tesco's delivery van speeding down the road at 2mph.

29th July 2004, 10:34	#8 (permalink)
Wobbly First Team Regular Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The real peoples favourite and most funniest poster of 2005.. Posts: 11,126	Upon crossing the road to the greasy spoon cafe, 26 was nearly run over by a large lorry, but he new it was going to miss, because it had "Dodge" wrtitten on the front.

29th July 2004, 10:34	#9 (permalink)
Bury Red Backs Fergie, Yells Giggs! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Singapore Posts: 7,492	"I'm sick of all this name calling" he thought "I know, I'll go on a diet and get myself a personal trainer from Redcafe"

29th July 2004, 10:36	#10 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	Storytelling can get a bit disjointed if everyone speaks at the same time, he thought to himself...as the Tesco driver shouted "Out the way you porky motherfecker"

29th July 2004, 10:41	#11 (permalink)
Bury Red Backs Fergie, Yells Giggs! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Singapore Posts: 7,492	"You cheeky little spiky haired prick" shouted the postie "Is that my internet order of beer you've got there? 'kin three days to deliver it you cunt, where'd you bring it from, 'kin Bristol?"

29th July 2004, 10:48	#12 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	"Feck you fat cnut" the spiky haired driver replied "At least we don't lose it like Royal Mail....you probably work there, judging by how fat you are....you fat feck"

29th July 2004, 10:50	#13 (permalink)
Wobbly First Team Regular Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The real peoples favourite and most funniest poster of 2005.. Posts: 11,126	"Shut up you cunt" said 26, "ive boned your wife good and hard".

29th July 2004, 10:51	#14 (permalink)
Rams extremely handsome, intelligent and talented poster Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: midtable anonymity Posts: 26,012	Just as Simon the Driver and 26 were about to have a fisty cuffs, a whore approched them from the pavement. "Two pond and I'll give you the time of your life!" said Liz.

29th July 2004, 10:53	#15 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	"You have to pay double mind " The whore said to our hero "Cos there's effectively 2 of you"

29th July 2004, 10:53	#16 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,498	Upset by the constant taunts and lack of quality customer service in the Warrington area, 26 decided he would build a fence between himself and the World.

29th July 2004, 10:58	#17 (permalink)
Stanley Road I.C.F. Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Viva Ronaldo Posts: 22,384	So he hired a builder to take care of this act

29th July 2004, 10:59	#18 (permalink)
Wobbly First Team Regular Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The real peoples favourite and most funniest poster of 2005.. Posts: 11,126	26 liked the idea that his wall should have arches.

29th July 2004, 11:03	#19 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,770	Big arches, so he could get his hulking frame through them.....Christ he was hungry

29th July 2004, 11:07	#20 (permalink)
WeasteDevil Posts: n/a	So hungry, for Plech. He wanted his cock so much!

29th July 2004, 11:12	#21 (permalink)
EricTheRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: @work Posts: 968	Upon realising his (not so) hidden homosexual tendancies, 26th decided to ditch the postie job & get himself down the docks to start work in his new career as a paid cock-gobbler for sailors.

29th July 2004, 11:15	#22 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,640	Having earned only sixpence in his first week as a cock gobbler 26th decided a new career was in order.

29th July 2004, 11:17	#23 (permalink)
cD Banned Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: awfully chuffed with my capital D Posts: 2,117	He took a hike to the local pub

29th July 2004, 11:18	#24 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,498	So he was sat in the beer garden of the shed-pub, behind his fence, trying to think of a new job, when all of a sudden a screech and girly yelp marked the arrival of...

29th July 2004, 11:20	#25 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,640	A fat red headed welsh cnut

29th July 2004, 11:22	#26 (permalink)
Stanley Road I.C.F. Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Viva Ronaldo Posts: 22,384	With a bandage on his hand covering a 2mm scar

29th July 2004, 11:24	#27 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,640	Due to having a life size tattoo of his penis removed by lazer surgery

29th July 2004, 11:25	#28 (permalink)
Honest John First Team Sub Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Upwardly bound Project Manager Posts: 5,364	"Get the fecking chip pan on 26" said Davo. "I haven't eaten since the Everything-in-the-shop burger I had 15 minutes ago and I'm kin hank marvin"

29th July 2004, 11:26	#29 (permalink)
WeasteDevil Posts: n/a	Then I walked in!

29th July 2004, 11:28	#30 (permalink)
Honest John First Team Sub Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Upwardly bound Project Manager Posts: 5,364	"Great!" They replied in unison. "Weaste can cook the chips we'll drink beer"

29th July 2004, 11:28	#31 (permalink)
cD Banned Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: awfully chuffed with my capital D Posts: 2,117	hand in hand with Maria Sharapova

29th July 2004, 11:30	#33 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,498	"What's that missile-shaped thing in the sky?" said Weaste suddenly, dropping his chip pan, and also his trousers, in the hope that the hot fat would grease his shithole enough for him to be buggered by an oncoming terrorist projectile.