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RedCafe.net Podcast Episode #27
now available
15th April 2006, 21:12
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#1 (permalink) |
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Clean Shaven and Foolish
 Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Manchester
Posts: 589
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Important facts about NEMANJA VIDIC
 Guns don't kill people. Nemanja Vidic kills People. Nemanja Vidic does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain. Nemanja Vidic doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself. Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. There are no races, only countries of people Nemanja Vidic has beaten to different shades of black and blue. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Nemanja Vidic has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one. Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink. Nemanja Vidic played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. In a 50-50 challenge, Nemanja Vidic would win 150-nil. Nemanja Vidic does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. Nemanja Vidic recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". Nemanja Vidic once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Nemanja Vidic hates The Beatles; two to go. Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives. When Nemanja Vidic exercises, the machine gets stronger. Nemanja Vidic's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Nemanja Vidic beat the hair off Chuck Norris' chest. Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. |
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15th April 2006, 21:13
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#2 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: "Twice in the opening eleven minutes, Filippo Inzaghi has struck for Juventus. The first was a poacher's goal, the second needed some luck... Manchester United need a minor miracle now. They are two down in no time, here."
Posts: 1,118
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How about some original ones!
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15th April 2006, 21:13
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#3 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: "Twice in the opening eleven minutes, Filippo Inzaghi has struck for Juventus. The first was a poacher's goal, the second needed some luck... Manchester United need a minor miracle now. They are two down in no time, here."
Posts: 1,118
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Like, I dunno.
Nemanja Vidic once ate his own head. Nemanja Vidic can fold a piece of paper 8 times. Nemanja Vidic can touch that. |
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15th April 2006, 21:28
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#9 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: "Twice in the opening eleven minutes, Filippo Inzaghi has struck for Juventus. The first was a poacher's goal, the second needed some luck... Manchester United need a minor miracle now. They are two down in no time, here."
Posts: 1,118
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Nemanja Vidic sacked Fergie and sold Giggs.
Nemanja Vidic will watch the watchers. |
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15th April 2006, 21:44
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#13 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: "Twice in the opening eleven minutes, Filippo Inzaghi has struck for Juventus. The first was a poacher's goal, the second needed some luck... Manchester United need a minor miracle now. They are two down in no time, here."
Posts: 1,118
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Translated into Latin, it means "I came, I saw, Vidic". See?
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15th April 2006, 22:03
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#17 (permalink) | |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Manchester
Posts: 2,084
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Quote:
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16th April 2006, 02:51
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#19 (permalink) |
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Crikey that stung
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Veron is a great player. Youse all fucking idiots. Press conference over!" - Sir Alex Ferguson
Posts: 12,740
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Nemanja Vidic doesn't close players down, they are drawn to his legs by the force of gravity.
When Nemanja Vidic Runs he stays still the Earth moves under his feet like a treadmill One of the new quadrants caught on fire last week after Nemanja fixed it a glare. Stupid tackles don't break peoples legs, Nemanja Vidic does. Nemaja Vidic once woke up in a foul mood. The result was the Yugoslav wars. |
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16th April 2006, 04:36
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#22 (permalink) |
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First Team Regular
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 'Part time reds full time twats'.... what RAWKers say about the Caf's Bindippers
Posts: 12,368
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Everyone thinks it was Roy Keane than ended Alf Inge Harland's career in 2001. It was actually 20yr old Nemanja Vidic "channeling" the thoughts into Roy Keane's head.
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16th April 2006, 07:13
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#24 (permalink) |
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Im rude and disprespectful to the ladies of the forum,though Im happy to cruise Jason and Suresh
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: 狗杂种,闭嘴 辱罵,用俚語說...废物点心 : Dinamic Dude
Posts: 16,344
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Vidic once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Vidic once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either |
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16th April 2006, 08:09
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#26 (permalink) | |
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Future friend of the first team
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Land of the unknown
Posts: 6,946
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Quote:
class thread
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16th April 2006, 11:48
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#29 (permalink) | |
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Beanpole studying Irish history
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Fighting over the internet is like being David Bellion, even if you win, you'e still a gay french shitbag who's first touch is worse than a landmine victims-Credit to Big Andy
Posts: 5,320
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Quote:
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16th April 2006, 12:06
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#31 (permalink) | |
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Crikey that stung
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: "Veron is a great player. Youse all fucking idiots. Press conference over!" - Sir Alex Ferguson
Posts: 12,740
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Quote:
Don't like that one huh, what about: Vidic once got nutmegged by an Albanian. the result was ethnic-cleansing. |
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16th April 2006, 14:26
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#35 (permalink) |
 Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: So bow down before them,and lift up your eyes....For Old Trafford's Glory will ALWAYS survive..Carlos Tevez - They worship the ground he walks away from..."
Posts: 18,873
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From the Newbies :-
"Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it's wings torn off by Nemanja Vidic. "
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