poster origins

rimaldo

yeah was not a bad shout. you forgot the bit about the massive wang but were pretty close with everything else.

just about within walking distance of pikneys green and it's car parks of adorning doggers.

Biscuit1871

Well that was a given.

Actually rimaldo, you'd be a good person to ask. I have several mates who live in Maidenhead and was thinking about going over there for a night out in the town. Whats it like? Much about? how does it compare to Reading?

rimaldo

if you mean maidenhead town centre is pretty shit. there's three or four really quite poor clubs that are well worth a visit but there is a weatherspoons.

Biscuit1871

Well and truely fucked up those quotes there.


yeah... pretty much what i expected. Really not worth the trip to go to a Weatherspoons. We have two of them in Reading. They're not bad if you don't mind drinking in the company of the dregs of society.

rimaldo

nope i wouldn't recommend it unless you want to laugh at or pity people. yep that's weatherspoons. cheap though.

VidaRed

whats this then ?

rimaldo

does exactly what it says on the tin. that's right. it's all about ronseal.

rimaldo

ballache - born on the outskirts of chernobyl in a tent in the early 90's it was inevitable that ballache would come into this world horribly disfigured and mutilated. travelling around with the most famous freak show russia had to offer, his mum was a dwarf who’s trick was to be fired out of a cannon and his father a bearded lady. he was conceived on the back of the crippled hunchback who also travelled with them to be gawped at by other’s for their amusement. his parents were shocked to discover that on his arrival into this life he seemed perfectly normal. they scanned his face and although far from the prettiest apple to fall from the tree he was normal. he had the right number of arms and legs and all his fingers and toes seemed to be there and were only ever so slightly webbed. the last place they checked was to prove their undoing. his scrotum resembled that of a sack of marbles. countless testicles protruded from the wrinkly ball holding receptacle. they counted for days but could only estimate that ballache was the proud owner of at least 17 testicles. 17 being the highest number they could count to. they described it as at least 17 lots of 17 testicles. to me and you that’s at least 289 balls. sitting down was to prove an issue for young ballache. other than that he lived a normal life. he would play merrily with the freaks of the circus and made a living cleaning out the circus’ star attraction, the “incontinent old man” “come see him shit himself repeatedly” said the banner that festooned his cage. ballache. he carries around the ache of at least 289 testicles filling his stretched sack.

Bury Red

I've not deleted the Rimographies on the wiki Rimaldo, just moved all the players names in with the normal player list and created a separate Current Squad page with numbers. I'll fill in some of the details that aren't going to change like DoB, home town, nationality, signing date, debut etc factually in due course but for things like the biog and number of games played etc it will be a never ending task changing them so I prefer the idea of keeping them funny so if you want to have a crack at the full squad there's a few more there to keep you entertained.

rimaldo

no worries. i'll do what i can to give everyone on the page a biography.

Mr. MUJAC

These are really good......

Viper KGB

How have I missed this thread, genius

Will rimaldo eventually give Plech a run for his money in the classic threads?

Maajid

I once knew a poster on another forum who had the exact same inadvertently morbid posting style as rim

Don't do me btw

EricaNo7

i love berbatov's - wonder if he's read it himself?

Ballache

buckooo1978

haha

just discovered this thread - classic