The Queen of Warrington

ole_gunner · 22nd December 2006, 22:31

That's genuine quality right there. It makes Redlambs' stuff look academic.

Redlambs · 22nd December 2006, 22:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by ole_gunner

That's genuine quality right there. It makes Redlambs' stuff look academic.

At least you are talking about me! I agree btw

kf · 23rd December 2006, 00:02

predicament/Dipper cunt

Fucking genius mate!

McCool · 23rd December 2006, 00:07

Plech, I am impressed and amused!

I could've written something like that, but I went to the pub.

What do you do?

Plechazunga · 23rd December 2006, 00:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by kf

predicament/Dipper cunt

Fucking genius mate!

Cheers man, I was concerned that one was slightly ropey...

Are you cnuts seeing it correctly aligned? I had it centred, but then when I logged on on a different computer, it was all misaligned, with lines overspilling...

ole_gunner · 23rd December 2006, 00:18

We should give Plech some kind of Congressional Medal of Honour with 'caf' replacing the word congressional so it retains it's abbreviation and is duplicitous to net users outside the cafe.

kf · 23rd December 2006, 01:58

Plech, you've surpassed yourself.

Quote:

“Boa tarde,” said the nauseating link-man,
(Which means ‘Good evening’, not ‘The snake’s a spastic’);

Quote:

They trooped back in, lamenting, “Just our luck,
The Sign’s been on the roof the whole time! Shit!
Damn it, bloody hell, this sodding sucks,
Cocking wanking frigging twatting tit;
Cunting arses, bollocks, bugger, fuck,
Pissing bastard quimflaps, cockbiscuit…”
Thus did the gang express their sad regrets,
Like MacEnroe, in traffic, with Tourettes.

Pissing bastard quimflaps, cockbiscuit!

Quote:

O whitest Snow, how black you are at heart!
(That’s racist); for you make the dreary world
A blank new canvass, primed for vibrant art,
A virgin future, flawlessly unfurled;
A second chance at childhood! A fresh start!
But then you melt, and back our souls are hurled
To jobs and duties, borrowings and spendings,
And council-tax, and shopping-lists, and endings.

I think Lord Byron himself might have been proud of this. He was a gay fecker after all.

Quote:

When I was just a tiny boy, my mum
Once took me up a hill, upon a sledge;
So far, so good. She then did something dumb,
And left me free, to slide over the edge;
I slammed into a tree, and broke my thumb -
I’m fortunate I wasn’t left a veg;
Why did she leave me? So that she could natter
To some daft bint, re shit that doesn’t matter.

Now you're getting all autobiographical. I can understand your angst. What with being almost murdered by your mother and having part of your knob chopped off.

Quote:

Creamed David Seaman, as a kind of pun

Yuletide greetings to you and yours and a suggestion for a New Year's Resolution - you should be getting paid for this stuff!

Wibble · 23rd December 2006, 02:05

Great touch making the last word spastics.

Psmith · 23rd December 2006, 04:18

Brilliant.

noodlehair · 23rd December 2006, 11:01

Absolute class. The man can't hang doors, or feed himself, without arsing it up, but he's an absolute genius at creating huge rhyming stories about weirdos he met on an internet forum.

Top stuff

I had to read it in fecking stages mind, due to it being so long

Ruben · 23rd December 2006, 14:13

This kind of stuff makes all the shit threads of "Central midfield" or "FCUM vs. MUFC" worthwhile.

Fantastic reading Plech, got better and better as it went on. Genius.

StanTA · 23rd December 2006, 21:52

I didn't read it, was it good?

Did like the cameo roll of the Olympic mong in the group fotos though

Anna_Livia · 24th December 2006, 23:25

Jesus

That is brilliant, and not just cos I sort of get a mention via my missus's snow/death obsession.

"She walks in Bootle"

Too good.

vijay · 25th December 2006, 06:24

Wonderful first post by Plech. But I will read that one day..probably

Merry Xmas

Toodle

Melbourne Red · 25th December 2006, 06:27

That exceded all my expectations.

vijay · 25th December 2006, 09:00

Plech... I read everything.

bloody brilliant..

k-standred · 26th December 2006, 11:17

Very funny Plech

midfieldred · 26th December 2006, 11:27

Good stuff, Plech.

How do you made all of this by yourself?

Brilliant

sutty · 27th December 2006, 13:00

Bender

utdalltheway · 27th December 2006, 13:59

here's your little green smiley. well deserved.

you're wasted on here mate.

laura · 27th December 2006, 15:10

Plech,you definitely deserve an award or a medal!

Shane Bluck · 27th December 2006, 21:46

Plech... you are a fucking nutter.

That is a masterpiece.

VanNistelrater · 28th December 2006, 02:07

I only read up to the bit where it insults me.

It was good until then, but since i've decided it's shit.

It's shit.

Youngie · 29th December 2006, 19:30

"When proud youth shrivels, and Viagra calls,
I’ll join the spray o’er high Niagara Falls................."

..Genius!
Should be adapted for Ch4 with Ian Mckellen narrating and starring.... ???
(but that's another thread)

VanNistelrater · 29th December 2006, 23:24

No really Plech, it is genuinely brilliant

Fuck knows why you spunk your time with us wasters on here!

MadDogg · 30th December 2006, 08:02

Somehow I read all that in one go. A well-used 48 hours.

Incredible work mate (both of the 'that's racist' lines just about made me spit food all over the keyboard), and well worth your little green smilie.

30th December 2006, 10:37

It's shit like this that makes this place the best forum on the Internet, Punto.

Plech you truly are the king of forumosphere funny cnuts.

topper · 30th December 2006, 12:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by 77

I gave up after two lines... what's it about...?

can somebody summarise the bloody thing please

sutty · 31st December 2006, 10:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by topper

can somebody summarise the bloody thing please

Read it, it is excellent

Its a story about a load of gimps, a pub sign, deco and some jism.

Davo · 2nd January 2007, 21:05

I'm not reading all that

However, I'm prepared to advance Pletch the following green smilies, on reputation alone

I can't say fairer than that....

Plechazunga · 2nd January 2007, 23:14

I'd've taken that in August

Thanks mongos for the kind comments and small green laughing smilies

ERICSAGOD · 3rd January 2007, 20:06

Plech, you are without doubt a genius . . . mad, but nonetheless a genius.

I salute you . . . but you obviously have too much time on your hands.

Thank you anyway . . . laughed my balls off, and now I've got to go and find them.

Wibble · 19th April 2007, 01:15

22nd December 2006, 22:31	#41 (permalink)
ole_gunner Regular at Boots cosmetic counter Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: ...We're only making plans, for Nigel... Posts: 6,078	That's genuine quality right there. It makes Redlambs' stuff look academic.

23rd December 2006, 00:02	#43 (permalink)
kf First Team Sub Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 5,054	predicament/Dipper cunt Fucking genius mate!

23rd December 2006, 00:07	#44 (permalink)
McCool Reserve Team Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The Land of Wit and Irony Posts: 1,570	Plech, I am impressed and amused! I could've written something like that, but I went to the pub. What do you do?

23rd December 2006, 00:18	#46 (permalink)
ole_gunner Regular at Boots cosmetic counter Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: ...We're only making plans, for Nigel... Posts: 6,078	We should give Plech some kind of Congressional Medal of Honour with 'caf' replacing the word congressional so it retains it's abbreviation and is duplicitous to net users outside the cafe.

23rd December 2006, 02:05	#48 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,161	Great touch making the last word spastics.

23rd December 2006, 04:18	#49 (permalink)
Psmith First Team Sub Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 5,061	Brilliant.

23rd December 2006, 11:01	#50 (permalink)
noodlehair Can't drive! Can't text! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Posts: 29,202	Absolute class. The man can't hang doors, or feed himself, without arsing it up, but he's an absolute genius at creating huge rhyming stories about weirdos he met on an internet forum. Top stuff I had to read it in fecking stages mind, due to it being so long

23rd December 2006, 14:13	#51 (permalink)
Ruben Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Ruben, ruben. Posts: 4,137	This kind of stuff makes all the shit threads of "Central midfield" or "FCUM vs. MUFC" worthwhile. Fantastic reading Plech, got better and better as it went on. Genius.

23rd December 2006, 21:52	#52 (permalink)
StanTA Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Lapland Posts: 1,585	I didn't read it, was it good? Did like the cameo roll of the Olympic mong in the group fotos though

24th December 2006, 23:25	#53 (permalink)
Anna_Livia A jumped up pantry bhoy, who never knew his place. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Fairing's Parish Posts: 1,293	Jesus That is brilliant, and not just cos I sort of get a mention via my missus's snow/death obsession. "She walks in Bootle" Too good.

25th December 2006, 09:00	#56 (permalink)
vijay Im rude and disprespectful to the ladies of the forum,though Im happy to cruise Jason and Suresh Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cristiano Ronaldo: Ingerland's ENVY, United's PRIDE Posts: 12,065	Plech... I read everything. bloody brilliant..

27th December 2006, 13:00	#59 (permalink)
sutty Has been dreaming of LFC winning the league since the 89/90 season...yes, 1989/1990 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: I've got Joy Division oven gloves Posts: 6,503	Bender

25th December 2006, 06:24	#54 (permalink)
vijay Im rude and disprespectful to the ladies of the forum,though Im happy to cruise Jason and Suresh Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cristiano Ronaldo: Ingerland's ENVY, United's PRIDE Posts: 12,065	Wonderful first post by Plech. But I will read that one day..probably Merry Xmas Toodle

25th December 2006, 06:27	#55 (permalink)
Melbourne Red Trannie Lover Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Melbourne Posts: 6,824	That exceded all my expectations.

26th December 2006, 11:17	#57 (permalink)
k-standred Healthy, safe and neutered Join Date: May 2005 Location: Quit yo' jibba jabba Posts: 8,654	Very funny Plech

26th December 2006, 11:27	#58 (permalink)
midfieldred Muppet Lover Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Upstairs Posts: 2,527	Good stuff, Plech. How do you made all of this by yourself? Brilliant

27th December 2006, 13:59	#60 (permalink)
utdalltheway First Team Sub Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: USA (orig. Cobh) Posts: 5,693	here's your little green smiley. well deserved. you're wasted on here mate.

27th December 2006, 15:10	#61 (permalink)
laura fancies herself Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: The Champions of Ingerlund Spoony's got skinny sparrow legs Posts: 15,183	Plech,you definitely deserve an award or a medal!

27th December 2006, 21:46	#62 (permalink)
Shane Bluck Chef and honorary fat bloke in the Warrington Gimp Collective Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Quietly going about my business. Posts: 16,554	Plech... you are a fucking nutter. That is a masterpiece.

28th December 2006, 02:07	#63 (permalink)
VanNistelrater Poncey film buff Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Combatting ignorance, dust and disease \| MUFC Champions 2006/2007: Where will the goals come from?\| Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerily out of obscurity into the dream Posts: 26,130	I only read up to the bit where it insults me. It was good until then, but since i've decided it's shit. It's shit.

29th December 2006, 19:30	#64 (permalink)
Youngie Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: "Ach..away and print yer Shite!" Posts: 2,644	"When proud youth shrivels, and Viagra calls, I’ll join the spray o’er high Niagara Falls................." ..Genius! Should be adapted for Ch4 with Ian Mckellen narrating and starring.... ??? (but that's another thread)

29th December 2006, 23:24	#65 (permalink)
VanNistelrater Poncey film buff Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Combatting ignorance, dust and disease \| MUFC Champions 2006/2007: Where will the goals come from?\| Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerily out of obscurity into the dream Posts: 26,130	No really Plech, it is genuinely brilliant Fuck knows why you spunk your time with us wasters on here!

30th December 2006, 08:02	#66 (permalink)
MadDogg Reserve Team Player Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: “Manchester United never lose, they just run out of time” Posts: 2,551	Somehow I read all that in one go. A well-used 48 hours. Incredible work mate (both of the 'that's racist' lines just about made me spit food all over the keyboard), and well worth your little green smilie.

30th December 2006, 10:37	#67 (permalink)
WeasteDevil Posts: n/a	It's shit like this that makes this place the best forum on the Internet, Punto. Plech you truly are the king of forumosphere funny cnuts.

2nd January 2007, 21:05	#70 (permalink)
Davo Still waiting for my team to make a title challenge. Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: It's Ours For Keeps Posts: 551,802	I'm not reading all that However, I'm prepared to advance Pletch the following green smilies, on reputation alone I can't say fairer than that....

2nd January 2007, 23:14	#71 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures. Posts: 49,334	I'd've taken that in August Thanks mongos for the kind comments and small green laughing smilies

3rd January 2007, 20:06	#72 (permalink)
ERICSAGOD Grumpy Old Git Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Mrs Slocombe's Pussy Posts: 3,389	Plech, you are without doubt a genius . . . mad, but nonetheless a genius. I salute you . . . but you obviously have too much time on your hands. Thank you anyway . . . laughed my balls off, and now I've got to go and find them.

19th April 2007, 01:15	#73 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 33,161	...