The Redcafe Novel

Originally Posted by Redcafe's Spastic Authors Collective

The conspiracy theory, which is latent to the other side of the world-wide network of side-networkers, who took advantage of drugged-up Britney Spears, who enjoys anal fisting. Her new look captivated pangolins, with their attention on Britney, the muppets devised a plan for the conquest of Djibouti, the stronghold and enclave of the Russian empire. It had been spending its time stomping on hordes of Eric Clapton fans.

Cantona was wrongfully accused of shagging Jose’s missus, but he actually had shagged Cheryl Tweedy Cole robustly, so robustly that her fanny widened enough to force a whole kangaroo in sideways as well as Skippy and Didier.

Unfortunately, Keano kicked Barbara Hancock whilst Cantona strongly rambled about Borat, then began drooling over Kylie. Originally, Chelsea were straight, but now they are very, very gay, especially Soloman Kalou, whose ass was obliterated by a “Baby-All-Gone” injection, which radiated love.

Albeit, painfully remembering souvenirs from Guatemala, as he raced through, with will of wisps, which waltzed among gorgeous Barbie dolls. It seems the almighty Nemanja lost sight of Edwin, king of Algebra and pancake-making.

Plechazunga’s bending pipes.

Maybe through the ingenious planning, or by rimming Indiana Jones’ arsehole, certain posters like Neil_Buchanan will eat shit from bastard’s cunts. Anyway, Lampard the fat, fridge-raiding, pie-man who can win f*ck all again after winning the Mickey Mouse cup this season. Ronaldo will pwn him and win player of the season.

Lampard will eat Drogba’s dog shit. The numerous gay scousers sadly present porcupines to Crouch at altitude (400,000 and a quarter feet).

Arsene likes bumming Sir Elton John, who eats living insects that stink of scouse weed. This surprised people.
Lemsip tastes like the backside of an oversized fat package belonging to Boris Yeltsin’s Clive, who enjoys rimming and spreading the ass of Roman Abramovich’s cat. The cat went to the U.N.’s to have them investigate Giggs’ goal against Lille, the whining, f*cking, French bastards, who whined like Jose Mourinho’s sidekicks. The allegations were made by Theo’s girlfriend, who was deeply penetrated by SuperDave and Revelz. She insisted that whipped-cream facials must be introduced for sexual affairs. Unfortunately for Theo, he rimmed Thierry’s ass until his mum joined in soothe him, while he burped and farted at the same time in his car, smashing the windows in the process.

When the trifector is gay in Thailand, where the cocaine is green, monkeys urine smells like Lemsip and jalapenos. Meanwhile, The Rock plays the skin flute like a champ. Pangolins marched their scaly-like arses towards Limbo, the magical roundabout of sexual terror caused by chain-mail sent clueless imbeciles and wingnuts. Swallowing vomit while visiting “The Dark Side”, only to find Revelz practicing osmosis in a sectarian, wacko-filled chamber.

A comatose skunk was eating super-skunk sandwiches provided by the Dark Lord…. Spandex-Man. Darth Vader was in a Spice Up Your Life Show. Following the enormous replica named Steve Lumptard, McKnight was frightened of Miss Wales who was moist.