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20th September 2006, 17:52
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#161 (permalink) | |
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self confessed womens pantie wearer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: form is emptiness, emptiness is form.
Posts: 8,794
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Quote:
Excuse me while I work on mine |
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20th September 2006, 18:34
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#162 (permalink) |
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self confessed womens pantie wearer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: form is emptiness, emptiness is form.
Posts: 8,794
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First up I choose bureaucrats
You might be thinking, "why do that?" As I go off, you’ll find out why I’d be quite happy for them to die So my request for Plechazunga to annihilate these mutherfuckas Is based on fact they do no work Just hang about, unionized jerks Cannot be turfed or terminated Their employment status never debated Yes, they are crucial to my role But every one is an asshole I think this is quite automatic Bureaucratic equals spastic Blogs are next up in my list I read them and I get quite pissed In Canada that’s read as angry but also could be “filled with Brandy” anyway, back to the topic Blogs are often so myopic I want to vomit bile and snot So Plech, please arrange for a shot To smite all Bloggers, like cars to Froggers And save the world from senseless mongers Third up for Room One O Mong May sometimes show a glimpse of thong But sometimes when a commercial’s on You’ll see a man, once wore sarongs He’s wearing these, and n*gga, please Save these pants for the ladies Oh, Plech please do us men a favour send men’s low rise pants to your annihilator I like KISS, I really do The 70’s were ok, too Ditto for the ‘80s, though sometimes grand things have gots to go So when I see on my TV An ageing legend and family Ripping off the Oz himself I think, “Dear God, what fucking else?” He looks way better with make up on (Oh no, ’ve I just become a mong?) Oh well, my innermost thoughts I’ll hide Please send Gene Simmons to the mong side I am not anti-American might be biased (I'm part German) But when the hell did Nike choose To get involved with football shoes? And kits, and shorts, and socks to boot? I think they’re in it for the loot Not to mention Rooney’s foot Room One O Mong’s where they should be put |
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20th September 2006, 18:37
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#163 (permalink) |
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Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling.
Join Date: May 2003
Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures.
Posts: 49,334
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 kinell Doctor...I'm going to have to have a think about those I'll get back to you tomorrow...it's not easy you know, being in charge of who's spastic |
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20th September 2006, 19:07
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#168 (permalink) | |
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RatCat freak
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: "In the offseason, my mustache drives the Firebird, I ride shotgun" - RATCAT
Posts: 10,411
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Quote:
Yeah, I remember that thread! |
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20th September 2006, 20:01
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#171 (permalink) | |
 Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Buenos Aires - Argentina
Posts: 27,162
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Quote:
fuckin A+ mate |
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21st September 2006, 09:12
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#173 (permalink) |
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Executive Manager being kept sane only by her madness
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Someone said that half of Caf members were thick. It's not true. Half of you aren't thick at all.
Posts: 27,388
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Has anyone binned Lily Allen yet.
I might start a Punch Lily Allen thread actually. |
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21st September 2006, 23:01
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#176 (permalink) |
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Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling.
Join Date: May 2003
Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures.
Posts: 49,334
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Sorry...I'm a bit worse for wear
Might get onto it in a minute Does it have to be in cocking rhyme? |
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21st September 2006, 23:35
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#177 (permalink) | |
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causes posters to develop an inability to understand irony
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 3,283
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Quote:
You horse. |
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22nd September 2006, 00:01
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#178 (permalink) |
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Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling.
Join Date: May 2003
Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures.
Posts: 49,334
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1. Bureaucrats
Bureaucrats are pointless twats In the old days they wore bowler hats Now on email they just chat Verdict: Spastic - have some of that.  A bureaucrat, after I've rammed an apple through his face 2. Blogs Blogs are fecking shite, and gay Who could give a bugger, pray About your life, so dull and gray? No-one. Verdict: Spastic. Yay!  She's alright, but most will now be eradicated 3. Men in Thongs Fellas wearing fecking thongs? That just seems so fecking wrong Plus, they're in that rubbish song Verdict: Spastic (as in, mong).  Due for Termination 4. Gene Simmons I don't know who Simmons is He looks like he's been soaked in jizz His real name, though, is Chaim Witz Not Spastic, then, cos we're both yids.  Simmons: Clearly spasticated, but gets away with it cos I'm biased towards Israel 5. Nike Nike may be evil yanks We need them though, to pay off banks Due to Malcolm Glazer (thanks) Verdict: Not Spastic. I'm off for a wank.  The tick is not always entirely apt |
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22nd September 2006, 11:55
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#188 (permalink) |
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Yid Bang
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Officially the Best and Funniest Poster 2005
Posts: 28,031
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number 1 on my list really blows,
its American teenage based shows, "Hang Time" gets me screamin' as does "California Dreamin" Makes me want to pull my brains out my nose. number 2 on my list isn't Awesome, infact its that wank band called "Orson" Love songs and soft rock, sung by a bald cock, their label should be made to divorce em' Number 3 isn't anything real, its the way other drivers make me feel, when they pull out in front, like an utter fucking cunt, makes me want them under my wheel Number 4 is this nobhead at work, who wears this pompous, shit smirk, he thinks that he's it, but he's really a shit, and clearly, a big grade A berk. Number 5 on my list is the butty man, who's fare consists mainly of Spam, his breads out of date, and he's always fucking late, and he comes when I'm sat on the can. |
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22nd September 2006, 14:57
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#189 (permalink) | |
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RatCat freak
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: "In the offseason, my mustache drives the Firebird, I ride shotgun" - RATCAT
Posts: 10,411
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Quote:
These definitely need to be annihilated!!! |
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25th September 2006, 14:01
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#190 (permalink) |
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Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling.
Join Date: May 2003
Location: My enthusiasm is the same. I love this club. It is not about brochures.
Posts: 49,334
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1. Yank Teenage-based Shows
 These yank teen-based shows you refer to I've not seen, and so I shall defer to The opinion you've stated - If you're wrong, you'll get slated In English, and Spanish, and Urdu. Verdict: Spastic  Hang Time 2. Orson Likewise, this shite “Orson” group I’ve not heard of – am I out the loop? But they don’t sound fantastic, So let them be spastic, Like your shed-loving Warrington troupe. Verdict: Spastic  Orson, but even more bi 3. The feeling you get when you're cut up  It is shit, when you see someone’s bonnet Cut in front, with a Merk sign upon it; But on Sunday, in Surrey I was in such a hurry That I did it three times, if I’m honest. Verdict: Not Spastic  Mushrooms: traveling to pick them encourages aggressive driving 4. Andy's Smug Colleague Look, I may be the Grand Spastic-Slayer But I can’t murder random surveyors On the strength of reports From mongs on Sky Sports And notorious Warrington gayers. Verdict: Not Spastic  Big Andy’s second-most-recent appearance on Sky Sports The "Butty-Man"  So hang on, let me get this one straight, There’s this “butty-man”, who’s always late? He sounds more like a batty-man Like the Pope, in the Vatican Whom you desperately want to fellate. Verdict: Spastic  Batty-men |
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