United's penalty-takers

Coca Cola

Brilliant thread

kietotheworld

It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

VoetbalWizard

ronaldo
hargreaves
rooney
tevez
rio

RapidRed

fucking hell!! Every time you think that the Rubber Indian has crossed all limits of spasticity and fuckwittery, he goes on and out does himself.

Wibble

Where is this study? The only one I know about is Chiaporri, Levitt and Groseclose (2002) which was published in some economics journal. The stats were rubbish and has so little power as to be useless. They also failed to do do things like ANOVA's which might have teased some details out, although give the sample sizes and methodology I doubt it.

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Bingo

p_ps_sock

I'm descended from a race who were masters of the open sea, I couldn't argue the toss about rudders and taking it up the arse though (well maybe the latter but thats fuck all to do with sailing)

p_ps_sock

Well a right footed player would have a dominant left hemisphere and a left footed player would have a dominant right hemisphere.

Because the left hemisphere is considered the logical one and the right the creative one then the right footed players should always shoot the goalkeepers weak hand because thats logical, whereas left footed players, being creative, are more likely to get out a canvas and a set of water colours to render their interpretation of the dramatic moment.

All the above are facts so I don't need to prove them.

reddevilcanada

cw1984

Hahaha this thread is immense.

Its 'fact' that left footed people can't take penalties

I'd love to see that study!!

My mate Dale (in the newbies - Daleberto) play for the same football team and he finishes in the top 2 every time we have a penalty competition. He certainly doesnt put it in the same place over and over again.

Van Perise springs too mind too....

Buffoon!!!

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Sultan

I also missed it the first time...

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

That post makes no sense what soever.

Sultan

You are all fools.

This research should prove beyond all doubt Chief's superiority over all you ignorants.

In left footed penalty takers, often the fourth toes of individuals have more subdigital lamellae on the right than on the left side. The difference in morphological directional asymmetry was statistically poorer (P<0.05) in 11.4% among 193 penalties sampled.

Left footers varied in extent and direction of association, but no phylogenetic constraints were detected within genera. Statistical significance was greater in samples from those of German and African origin than from heterogeneous ones.

Statistically significant associations morphological right-side dominance exists - in three independent lineages with reduced limbs. Hence such association is probably not a result of limb function. Rather, left-side inferiority seems to be the symptom of an unknown, perhaps organism-wide, detrimental trait suggesting advantages and disadvantages in different situations. We propose the hypothesis that an inversion of side dominance may occur in a single trait without systematic inversion of side dominance in all traits of the body. Inversion in a single trait causes incompatibility in multiple-trait functions. Such a mechanism, could increase twitching proneness in left-footers.

cw1984

Meaning.....

Sultan

Proves Chiefs theory, sorry factual statement.

cw1984

Ah of course.

Thread closed

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Trust you to come up with some dumb fuck shit like that. I made statement that left footed penalty takes are easier to read. He who doesn't believe this should go and observe penalty shoot outs and count the number of times they accurately read where the left footer will place his penalty. Instead of people doing this, I'm being challenged to present "evidence" "In what way do left footed penalty takers differ from right footed ones that causes them to be easier to read? " When I've already clearly stated where I got my evidence from. A method open to all who desire it.

SmashedHombre

This is the greatest thread in the history of the internet. I'm left footed and I hit penalties any direction I want. Doesn't make a jot of difference which foot you are. Of course if I hit a penalty with my right foot, I would probably put it the same direction most times as I can't hit a ball for shit with my right foot. So right footers are predictable penalty takers and lack variation. FACT!

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Because you are a fucking moron that's why. I said go and observe penalty shoot outs and count the number of times you can actually accurately read where the left footers will place his penalty. Then you will begin to get the difference. But you've refused. Yet still claim I have to answer you

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Grow up. Your petty jokes are starting to be a serious source of annoyance

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

You badly need a gun to put yourself out of existence to stop such stupidity spreading to the rest of the world

Sultan

Prove it!

I have scientifically proved, and dispelled all doubt that penalties taken by left footers are easy to read, therefore inferior.

FACT!

esmufc12

Bloody hell, does the Chief ever back down?

Bury Red

There is no laterality in the success ratios - left footed and right footed strikers have the same success when the frequencies are represented as percentages.

Based on a statistical analysis of all the penalties from the 2002 World Cup and Champions League.

There's lies, damned lies and statistics.

But if you want to be 100% certain there's only The Chief*



Oh, and Kemo of course.

SmashedHombre

Yeah but you haven't really proved anything. Just given your opinion and stated it as fact. You're mad Sultan, mad as a hatter.

Sultan

Chief's never back down.

Job description.

Bury Red

Is that a fact or just your opinion Smashed.

ciderman9000000

Yeah chief, you've really gone out and observed loads of penalty shootouts haven't you, and tried to acurately predict where the left footed takers are going to place it, then counted up how many times you could read them and compared it with the same data from the right footers. You've actually gone and done that haven't you, and posted the results on the caf. You've watched hundreds of penalties with the critical, coolly unbiased eye of a man dedicated to determining whether the advantage lies in the left or right foot, haven't you chief. You're not just full of shit are you, all your opinions are based on hard facts and statistical data that you've gathered out in the field. Nah, you're not just completely full of bullshit, no way are you! You're not a stubburn fuckwit who makes up loads of crap on the internet that he can't prove or even begin to explain and then try and pass it off as fact claiming that you've done all this fuckload of research and nobody else has so you must be right. You wouldn't do that would you? nah chief, i believe you, in fact, i'm in awe of you! I'd never have the motivation to conduct the extensive research into penalties that you've been doing for the last i don't know how many years. Hats off to you chief, you're a true man of science, i seeker of the ultimate truth and unveiler of FACTS. Well done chief.

You fucking lying bastard.

esmufc12

Sultan

It's not an opinion.

It comes from a very prestigious medical research institute. Go find links, it's not my job to prove anything to fact deniers.

Buffoons

Sultan

That I'm mad?

FACT!

ciderman9000000

agreed. facts are facts. it's not rubberman's responsibility to prove that everything he says is a fact, because it's a fact that it is and that's a fact. go out and observe rubberman talking, you can clearly see that he only deals in facts, proven or not, it's still fact.

Pogue Mahone

Nope. But there's plenty fo stubborn cnuts on here who never back down (myself included ).

What makes the Chief really special is his willingness to occasionally leap in and adopt an opinion that is almost completely devoid of common sense, and defend this position with almost insane passion and vigour, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

"Never Give Up"

SmashedHombre

How many people need to hold an opinion before it beocmes fact? Because there are several thousand caf posters willing to back me up on the Sultan being mad as a hatter thing

Sultan

This is heading for the classics thread.

Anyway Ciderman, he's not a "fucking lying bastard", my description is better - He's a stranger to the truth.

FACT!

WeasteDevil

Not this again?

ciderman9000000

FranklyVulgar

Fletch should take the pens