United's penalty-takers

Coca Cola · 16th April 2008, 03:13

Brilliant thread

kietotheworld · 16th April 2008, 03:21

It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

VoetbalWizard · 16th April 2008, 03:26

ronaldo
hargreaves
rooney
tevez
rio

RapidRed · 16th April 2008, 03:32

fucking hell!! Every time you think that the Rubber Indian has crossed all limits of spasticity and fuckwittery, he goes on and out does himself.

Wibble · 16th April 2008, 04:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by kietotheworld

It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

Where is this study? The only one I know about is Chiaporri, Levitt and Groseclose (2002) which was published in some economics journal. The stats were rubbish and has so little power as to be useless. They also failed to do do things like ANOVA's which might have teased some details out, although give the sample sizes and methodology I doubt it.

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 08:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by kietotheworld

It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

Bingo

p_ps_sock · 16th April 2008, 08:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

you pathetic buffoon. I descend from a race of people who are masters of the art of penalty taking. So quit embarrassing yourself

I'm descended from a race who were masters of the open sea, I couldn't argue the toss about rudders and taking it up the arse though (well maybe the latter but thats fuck all to do with sailing)

p_ps_sock · 16th April 2008, 08:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by kietotheworld

It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

Well a right footed player would have a dominant left hemisphere and a left footed player would have a dominant right hemisphere.

Because the left hemisphere is considered the logical one and the right the creative one then the right footed players should always shoot the goalkeepers weak hand because thats logical, whereas left footed players, being creative, are more likely to get out a canvas and a set of water colours to render their interpretation of the dramatic moment.

All the above are facts so I don't need to prove them.

reddevilcanada · 16th April 2008, 09:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

cw1984 · 16th April 2008, 09:43

Hahaha this thread is immense.

Its 'fact' that left footed people can't take penalties

I'd love to see that study!!

My mate Dale (in the newbies - Daleberto) play for the same football team and he finishes in the top 2 every time we have a penalty competition. He certainly doesnt put it in the same place over and over again.

Van Perise springs too mind too....

Buffoon!!!

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 09:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Sultan · 16th April 2008, 09:51

I also missed it the first time...

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 09:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by p_ps_sock

I'm descended from a race who were masters of the open sea, I couldn't argue the toss about rudders and taking it up the arse though (well maybe the latter but thats fuck all to do with sailing)

That post makes no sense what soever.

Sultan · 16th April 2008, 10:10

You are all fools.

This research should prove beyond all doubt Chief's superiority over all you ignorants.

In left footed penalty takers, often the fourth toes of individuals have more subdigital lamellae on the right than on the left side. The difference in morphological directional asymmetry was statistically poorer (P<0.05) in 11.4% among 193 penalties sampled.

Left footers varied in extent and direction of association, but no phylogenetic constraints were detected within genera. Statistical significance was greater in samples from those of German and African origin than from heterogeneous ones.

Statistically significant associations morphological right-side dominance exists - in three independent lineages with reduced limbs. Hence such association is probably not a result of limb function. Rather, left-side inferiority seems to be the symptom of an unknown, perhaps organism-wide, detrimental trait suggesting advantages and disadvantages in different situations. We propose the hypothesis that an inversion of side dominance may occur in a single trait without systematic inversion of side dominance in all traits of the body. Inversion in a single trait causes incompatibility in multiple-trait functions. Such a mechanism, could increase twitching proneness in left-footers.

cw1984 · 16th April 2008, 10:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultan

You are all fools.

This research should prove beyond all doubt Chief's superiority over all you ignorants.

In left footed penalty takers, often the fourth toes of individuals have more subdigital lamellae on the right than on the left side. The difference in morphological directional asymmetry was statistically poorer (P<0.05) in 11.4% among 193 penalties sampled.

Left footers varied in extent and direction of association, but no phylogenetic constraints were detected within genera. Statistical significance was greater in samples from those of German and African origin than from heterogeneous ones.

Statistically significant associations morphological right-side dominance exists - in three independent lineages with reduced limbs. Hence such association is probably not a result of limb function. Rather, left-side inferiority seems to be the symptom of an unknown, perhaps organism-wide, detrimental trait suggesting advantages and disadvantages in different situations. We propose the hypothesis that an inversion of side dominance may occur in a single trait without systematic inversion of side dominance in all traits of the body. Inversion in a single trait causes incompatibility in multiple-trait functions. Such a mechanism, could increase twitching proneness in left-footers.

Meaning.....

Sultan · 16th April 2008, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by cw1984

Meaning.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief

Left footers usually don't have variety in where they hit their penalties and hence are easier for keepers to read.

Proves Chiefs theory, sorry factual statement.

cw1984 · 16th April 2008, 10:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultan

Proves Chiefs theory, sorry factual statement.

Ah of course.

Thread closed

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 10:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Duckula

Yeh, Chief? Bringing contentious facts to the table like that (which is exactly what you did, because otherwise you wouldn't have bothered), makes it your responsibilty to back those claims up.

You'd be a fucking shit lawyer.

"My client is INNOCENT."
"Can you prove that?"
"I don't need to, fool. It's a FACT. YOU IMBECILE! I AINT DOING YOUR HOME WORK AND ANSWERING YOUR FUCKING QUESTION!"
"Um... ok. I find your client guilty and you're in contempt of court."

Trust you to come up with some dumb fuck shit like that. I made statement that left footed penalty takes are easier to read. He who doesn't believe this should go and observe penalty shoot outs and count the number of times they accurately read where the left footer will place his penalty. Instead of people doing this, I'm being challenged to present "evidence" "In what way do left footed penalty takers differ from right footed ones that causes them to be easier to read? " When I've already clearly stated where I got my evidence from. A method open to all who desire it.

SmashedHombre · 16th April 2008, 10:33

This is the greatest thread in the history of the internet. I'm left footed and I hit penalties any direction I want. Doesn't make a jot of difference which foot you are. Of course if I hit a penalty with my right foot, I would probably put it the same direction most times as I can't hit a ball for shit with my right foot. So right footers are predictable penalty takers and lack variation. FACT!

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 10:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

hey chief... how come is it again that left footed penalty takers are easier to read than right footed ones? i can't remember your explanation

Because you are a fucking moron that's why. I said go and observe penalty shoot outs and count the number of times you can actually accurately read where the left footers will place his penalty. Then you will begin to get the difference. But you've refused. Yet still claim I have to answer you

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 10:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralphie88

I missed this thread first time around. What a clown. He HAS to be a WUM. Or about 13 years old and very very angry. To be honest I didn't realise he had such a reputation on here when I was baiting him in the billion-page Hargreaves thread. I feel a bit harsh now, poor lad.

Mods - please change my tagline, tormenting the "Chief" ain't anything to be proud of.

Grow up. Your petty jokes are starting to be a serious source of annoyance

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 10:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

This is the greatest thread in the history of the internet. I'm left footed and I hit penalties any direction I want. Doesn't make a jot of difference which foot you are. Of course if I hit a penalty with my right foot, I would probably put it the same direction most times as I can't hit a ball for shit with my right foot. So right footers are predictable penalty takers and lack variation. FACT!

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber · 16th April 2008, 10:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by carpy

Has anyone else noticed that players that wipe their arses using their left hand are better free kick takers than players that wipe their arses using their right hand? If not, the facts are there for all to see. Just go and find these facts for yourselves, for they are undeniably facts. I don't have to provide evidence of these facts to you when the facts are staring you right in the face. FACT!

You badly need a gun to put yourself out of existence to stop such stupidity spreading to the rest of the world

Sultan · 16th April 2008, 10:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

FACT!

Prove it!

I have scientifically proved, and dispelled all doubt that penalties taken by left footers are easy to read, therefore inferior.

FACT!

esmufc07 · 16th April 2008, 10:48

Bloody hell, does the Chief ever back down?

Bury Red · 16th April 2008, 10:49

There is no laterality in the success ratios - left footed and right footed strikers have the same success when the frequencies are represented as percentages.

Based on a statistical analysis of all the penalties from the 2002 World Cup and Champions League.

There's lies, damned lies and statistics.

But if you want to be 100% certain there's only The Chief*

Oh, and Kemo of course.

SmashedHombre · 16th April 2008, 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sultan

Prove it!

I have scientifically proved, and dispelled all doubt that penalties taken by left footers are easy to read, therefore inferior.

FACT!

Yeah but you haven't really proved anything. Just given your opinion and stated it as fact. You're mad Sultan, mad as a hatter.

Sultan · 16th April 2008, 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by esmufc07

Bloody hell, does the Chief ever back down?

Chief's never back down.

Job description.

Bury Red · 16th April 2008, 10:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

16th April 2008, 03:13	#161 (permalink)
Coca Cola One balled wonder Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Evra´s Pussy. Posts: 2,118	Brilliant thread

16th April 2008, 03:21	#162 (permalink)
kietotheworld Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: "Arsenal have been knocked out of the Champions League and have all but run out of steam in the race for the Barclays Premier League title. Anyone not inclined to lament, mourn and bewail this fact is not in possession of a soul." Posts: 2,628	It's actually been definitely proven in a detailed study that right footed penalty takers score more proportionately than left footed players. This study was conducted across all the major footballing countries in Europe, as well as Brazil and Argentina, and across the top 2 divisions of each league.

16th April 2008, 03:26	#163 (permalink)
VoetbalWizard Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,182	ronaldo hargreaves rooney tevez rio

16th April 2008, 03:32	#164 (permalink)
RapidRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,763	fucking hell!! Every time you think that the Rubber Indian has crossed all limits of spasticity and fuckwittery, he goes on and out does himself.

16th April 2008, 09:43	#170 (permalink)
cw1984 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,191	Hahaha this thread is immense. Its 'fact' that left footed people can't take penalties I'd love to see that study!! My mate Dale (in the newbies - Daleberto) play for the same football team and he finishes in the top 2 every time we have a penalty competition. He certainly doesnt put it in the same place over and over again. Van Perise springs too mind too.... Buffoon!!!

16th April 2008, 09:51	#172 (permalink)
Sultan Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: When anger comes, wisdom goes. Posts: 14,150	I also missed it the first time...

16th April 2008, 10:10	#174 (permalink)
Sultan Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: When anger comes, wisdom goes. Posts: 14,150	You are all fools. This research should prove beyond all doubt Chief's superiority over all you ignorants. In left footed penalty takers, often the fourth toes of individuals have more subdigital lamellae on the right than on the left side. The difference in morphological directional asymmetry was statistically poorer (P<0.05) in 11.4% among 193 penalties sampled. Left footers varied in extent and direction of association, but no phylogenetic constraints were detected within genera. Statistical significance was greater in samples from those of German and African origin than from heterogeneous ones. Statistically significant associations morphological right-side dominance exists - in three independent lineages with reduced limbs. Hence such association is probably not a result of limb function. Rather, left-side inferiority seems to be the symptom of an unknown, perhaps organism-wide, detrimental trait suggesting advantages and disadvantages in different situations. We propose the hypothesis that an inversion of side dominance may occur in a single trait without systematic inversion of side dominance in all traits of the body. Inversion in a single trait causes incompatibility in multiple-trait functions. Such a mechanism, could increase twitching proneness in left-footers.

16th April 2008, 10:33	#179 (permalink)
SmashedHombre Has a date with the Grim Reaper - lol Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Slightly more handsome, intelligent and talented than Rams. Posts: 16,753	This is the greatest thread in the history of the internet. I'm left footed and I hit penalties any direction I want. Doesn't make a jot of difference which foot you are. Of course if I hit a penalty with my right foot, I would probably put it the same direction most times as I can't hit a ball for shit with my right foot. So right footers are predictable penalty takers and lack variation. FACT!

16th April 2008, 10:48	#185 (permalink)
esmufc07 Smashed's bitch Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Nina Myers: I never meant for this to be personal. Jack Bauer: It felt pretty personal when you killed my wife. Posts: 4,053	Bloody hell, does the Chief ever back down?

16th April 2008, 10:49	#186 (permalink)
Bury Red Backs Fergie, Yells Giggs! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Singapore Posts: 7,347	There is no laterality in the success ratios - left footed and right footed strikers have the same success when the frequencies are represented as percentages. Based on a statistical analysis of all the penalties from the 2002 World Cup and Champions League. There's lies, damned lies and statistics. But if you want to be 100% certain there's only The Chief* Oh, and Kemo of course.