Brum There Over The Same Show - 10 Things I Noticed (Birmingham vs Man Utd)

Mockney

Terrible Pun I know. Something about it being as toothless as the Leeds game....or something. Anyway, 10 Things I noticed from Birmingham City vs Manchester United



1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - In fact I still haven't found what I need to find to be able to work out what it is I'm supposed to be looking for in the first place. Watching United over the last week or so has been like watching a team who aren't Manchester United, attempt to play like Manchester United, badly. Occasionally they get it right, but more through luck than judgement. The most saddening aspect of this game was that despite getting 4 million minutes of injury time, we didn't create a single chance, or even a single penetrating forward thrust in the right direction during it. The odd thing is I can't really work out why. It's too obvious to say we miss Ronaldo cos the player playing in his stead, Antonio Valencia, is actually playing quite well and above the level of most of the others. We clearly were carried by him a little at times, but never so ineptly in his absence as we have in the last week or so. Tevez? Troll boy wouldn't have come on until the 85th minute anyway and his hustle and bustle wouldn't have contributed that much if anything to the fluidity of our attacking play. The rest of the chancers are all the same, with Scholes and Fletcher actually playing better than they did last season. So what the flibedy jibbit is going on? Bad moral? Bit too cold? Not enough Wheatabix?

2. Man-Child - An obvious and very lazy observation (but I'm feeling very lazy today..for a change) is that Wayne Rooney isn't stepping up. It's always noticable when he plays well that the rest of the team tend to follow suit (or at the least it looks like it) but annoyingly, his annual dip in form seems to be dragging on for longer than usual. Baby fatigue syndrome maybe? It's not like he looks tired, more that he looks indecisive, which was never a trait in the old Rooney. Maybe those around him aren't getting into the right positions? Shoot then!...Oh, it's gone over. Ahh well. He does seem to be labouring under the impression he's playing Rubgy lately, his shootings gone all crazy-like. Whereas before he'd cut in an whip a dipping drive towards the top corner, he now seems to think the top corner of the stand is a much more manageable target. I'm constantly baffled by Rooney, his enormous potential, his vanishing hairline and his consistent trouble in finding a pleasing way to deal with either.

3. Crap and the Beans fault - Our very own baked bean head seems to have decided that football is a rubbish game and he doesn't want to play it anymore. I love Wesley Brown, I remember when he broke through how exciting a prospect he seemed, but his inconsistency is a worry. His injury record is clearly a major reason for this but the errors are totting up and I'm starting to loose any confidence when the ball comes near him. Annoyingly the ball seems to feel the opposite and has decided Wes is its bestest fwend in the whole wide world and it wants to be near him at all times. Wes is clearly troubled by this as his nervous attempts to shake off it's attentions are becoming a little frantic. I'm not blaming him for yesterday particularly, more the Leeds game. When he obviously remembered he'd left the fridge open or something.

4. Park-Life - part 423 - Errrgghhh....Thats me resisting the urge to rant. We need better wingers though really don't we?, because he isn't a winger, he's like a confusing cross breed between a Beckham-esque winger without the crossing ability and a full back without any particularly good defensive qualities. Which is just 'meh' really isn't it?

5. Marmaduke - Sounded like Marmaduke but it was probably Mame Diouf. Bizarre decision to bring on an untested new signing who's only recent competitive experience was in the Norwegian League instead of say...oh I dunno...Michael Owen? It was also bizarre to leave it so late since we hadn't been looking like scoring in the previous 80 minutes and didn't look like we were about to either. Regardless though he was very fast. What else he was I've no idea because he only touched the ball 3 times. The first time he fell over but tackled someone, the second he miscontroled it and the third he miscontroled it but luckily managed to beat his man (well, a man) and put in weak a cross shot sort of thing. No basis to judge him on though as he was annoyingly given no service and nothing to work with. Good to see he's apparently ready to go straight in the team though.

6. Stop - Fergie Time! - Dunno where that came from. Didn't make a blind bit of difference though. We could've had 45 minutes of stoppage time and wouldn't've scored a winner. They might have though

7. Rafael is Cool but Rude - Cabbage patch doll No1 has been a fairly constant positive from the last 2 games. He wasn't great by a long shot but there is just something I like about him. His tackling is fucking dangerous at time though. His positioning is still pretty terrible too, or more accurately his inability to stay still is. He'll sort of go to tackle someone, then either pivot on the ball or throw his body in whatever direction he sees fit and if he fails to win it, he leaves a huge gaping space where he's just been, and then seems to run the furthest way back round to his starting point possible to try and get it again. Despite that though it's still pretty difficult to get passed him and his forward thrust is very useful in our absence of any particularly good wingers. Him and Evra might as well be playing as wingers for all I've noticed. If we cloned the two of them we'd probably have quite a good midfield.

8. Barnet City - What the fuck was up with Christian Benitez' hair? He seemed to have some abstract interpretation of the Big Bang Theory carved into his barnet. Troubled us once but was luckily crap

9. Only the Fletch is Good Enough - In lieu anything more interesting to say, I'd like to draw your attention to this quote from Goal.coms match ratings

"Darren Fletcher - 4 - Pointless slanging match with referee Mark Clattenburg boiled over as he was sent off for two yellow cards. Was on the periphery of the match for the rest of the contest."

Now if he could only work out how to be heavily involved in the match after being sent off, he'd finally be World Class ey pete?

10. Things Can Only Get Better - That's not strictly true of course, but i'm sure it will be. They're all going on a summer holiday now until Burnley at home and even in a slump, I can't see that being another toothless display. Even if it was a bit of a let down, you can't really claim we weren't the better team. Birmingham rarely threatened until Fletch got sent off and, although we hardly created anything, we were all over them to a degree. They got a lucky goal, we got a lucky goal, but we at least deserved our luck. Boncebackability is what is needed. Chin up lads...Chin up!....?? No?...Alright fine, grumble grumble grumble humbug

Untied

Good post Mockney.

I agree with most of what you said, I continue to wonder if, given both of the twins are best playing right-back, we shouldn't look at turning one of them into a midfielder. I might just be a muppet though.

1,2 and 3 are all spot on. I thought the time came from subs and their complaints about the goal?

Finally, I'm not sure I agree with 10 as we have been saying that for a year or so, which is how long we haven't really been clicking.

peterstorey

I think he means the bit before he was sent off, where he compared unfavourably to Bowyer and even Ferguson. Now what did I say about Park?

askabob

Good post Mockney, I also agree with most of what you said.

Whereas most people have the same ideas yet get bashed for being moaners, you put it in a humorous way and get applauded. Cheeky bastard

FreakyJim

ffs can we not keep it in one thread? ALL Birmingham moaning/feedback/criticism in here

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JayWalker

Thats the idea. Even stevie wonder will tell you we have issues right now. But its the way you say it and dont make it look like impending doom.

kps88

I think its unfair to go on about how we failed to do much in the last 10 minutes simply because we were down to 10 men. That meant asking Diouf to play uptop alone and sacrificing Rooney outwide. Not to mention loosing our legs in midfield (Fletcher). So its perfectly understandable Brum did all the pressing in those final few minutes.

Secondly I don't think Rooney's "annual dip in form seems to be dragging on for longer than usual". He's had some fine games in recent weeks. Alot more to do with the fact that he's uptop alone in a hard away game.

Mockney

I agree with you on Park though.

I'm fully aware this was a fairly crap one, I just did it cos I hadn't done one in a while.

esmufc14

God is real.

comlag

No. Mockney makes the most astute and well rounded, usually articulate observations in a very readable manner and deserves his own thread.

Edit: Fecking white text!!

soapythecat

Mockney good post mate.
There are very similar things been echoed in the brum moaning/feeback thread yet if you try to put your point across on there, some jumped up twat will call you a kneejerk or muppet etc. Of course they are right and we are all wrong, because they have 0000's of posts to their name!

MUFC07

Good work Mockney.

Number one was exactly something I was thinking about yesterday. We looked like a team trying to be Manchester United but failing.

Nani Nana

crap by your standards is pretty much the best all the other caftards have to offer

ich liebe dich

buckooo1978

i have to say there's nothing i can disagree with Mockney - excellent assessment

i wonder would we see a different rooney if he had someone playing with him he gelled with, maybe he is feeling the pressure of a lot of the expectation for goals being on him given the disappointing season for berbatov/owen

thought benitez gave our defence a torrid time, took his shots well, held the ball up and was pretty good overall

AttackingFlair

i guess you missed rooney against hull and wigan then

TonyMontana

poster of 2009? oh my god you guys must be joking.

Snow

Decent post. Tbf Diouf did pass the ball successfully that one time.

Doevle

What? He deserves it.

Suedesi

You can do better Mockney.

Benitez was "crap"? I thought he looked dangerous every time he touched the ball. That opening he created for himself with Evens seemingly glued to him in the second half was genius. Great touch, scuffed the shot.

Rafael seems to have bulked up a lot. I am pleased about this.

We played well against a very well organized team.

Rooney could/should have scored in the first half

Valencia is great - he'd be a genius if he learns to use the left leg for occasionally dribbling/crossing/kicking the ball.

PIG was reliable once again.

Plan M

His posts are better than yours.

Mockney

Yeah I know I can...I'm aware it wasn't a very good one. I just thought I'd pop one out cos I hadn't done one in a while.

That was pretty much the only thing he did.

Yes I noticed that too...Damn, I should've done something about that!!

We certainly were the better team.

Yeah I forgot about PIG. He kept us in it at the end actually..And I'm slowly being won round by Valencia. He's far better than most, including I, gave him credit at the begining of the season

el eric

[QUOTE=Mockney;7411603]Yes I noticed that too...Damn, I should've done something about that!!


[QUOTE]


Has he bulked up that much or was he wearing loads of layers under his shirt?

Nani Nana

B Cantona

I, er, don't get the pun?

comlag

Somewhere Over The Rainbow?

B Cantona

Oh

Yeh

moyesmyhero

I think he's wearing a shoulder brace.

Chapster

that pun was terrible
couldn't make sense of it

Boss

goal.com, such a shower of shite, great read as usual Mockney.