The press release after Fergie returns

Robbo · 24th June 2008, 11:40

Should read something like this..

Manchester United have watched with increasing dismay at the tactics employed by Real Madrid this summer in their pursuit of a player still bound by contract to Manchester United. The comments in the Spanish press combined with comments attributed to their president have unsettled the player who has now stated he wishes to move.

The manner of the Madrid approach has fooled no one at Old Trafford as it has involved the same tactics shown by them in previous transfers with utter disregard for both clubs and contracts.

Despite Manchester United making it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that the player was not for sale Real Madrid have continued in this illegal and immoral pursuit and as such we have decided to sell him for no less than 80 million euros.The club will not budge on this amount and the player will not play for the first team again before this amount is paid.

The club feels this amount befits the transfer of a player so highly valued throughout the world and expresses regret that he chooses to play elsewhere than at the home of the current European champions.

Rahul · 24th June 2008, 11:47

80 million euro's is not enough. Through marketing and commercial status that he'd make Madrid hundred of millions of pounds, the Beckham factor so to speak.

£80-£100 million or no dice.

RednProud · 24th June 2008, 12:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbo

Should read something like this..

Despite Manchester United making it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that the player was not for sale Real Madrid have continued in this illegal and immoral pursuit and as such we have decided to sell him for no less than 80 million euros.The club will not budge on this amount and the player will not play for the first team again before this amount is paid.

Change the above to this and you wouldn't be far away:

"Despite Manchester United making it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that the player was not for sale Real Madrid have continued in this illegal and immoral pursuit and as such we have decided to sell him for no less than 80 million POUNDS.The club will not budge on this amount and the player will STILL BE EXPECTED TO PLAY FOR THE first team UNTIL this amount is paid."

If he douesn't play at leat 10% of the matches he can go for free and why should we pay for him to do nothing?

^Red Devil^ · 24th June 2008, 12:28

We have no comment. Don't play this in the media. We are Manchester United.

A1Dan · 24th June 2008, 12:33

Pity there's not a Ronaldo thread for this.

CnutOfAllCnuts · 24th June 2008, 12:35

Sir Alex' press release should say:

We've sold Ronaldo to Hull, because he is a cnut with a massive ego. Real Madrid are cnuts too.

Manchester United are the Champions of England. And Europe.

Sir Alex Ferguson

Striker10 · 24th June 2008, 12:37

Manchester United will happily do a deal for the registration of Ronaldo, once Real Madrid can afford the transfer fee.

We have duly noted what madrid are keen to offer our player in wages and understand the deal might never happen as Ronaldo is 23 already and it will take madrid many years of saving up to afford the transfer fee.

We send them a symbolic piggy bank (champions of europe edition) in the post to encourage them to save save save....

Crumpsall Red · 24th June 2008, 21:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by CnutOfAllCnuts

Sir Alex' press release should say:

We've sold Ronaldo to Hull, because he is a cnut with a massive ego. Real Madrid are cnuts too.

Manchester United are the Champions of England. And Europe.

Sir Alex Ferguson

Feckin genius, but what have Hull done to deserve to have to put up with the slimey cunt?

Red For Ever · 24th June 2008, 21:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crumpsall Red

Feckin genius, but what have Hull done to deserve to have to put up with the slimey cunt?

My brother is involved with and is a supporter of Hull City
I dont think even in his wildest dreams he expects a player like Ronaldo at Hull
In the same way this time last year they were hoping to have a good year and maybe scrape into the play off places to give the supporters a bit of a bonus at the end of the season.
He still rings me about it, you can tell in his voice he expects to wake up any moment and find out it was all just a dream.

reddev07 · 24th June 2008, 23:32

It will simply be

'Please watch this video, when I paid Calderon a visit'

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/in...72fdef94659fe4

hotshot2004 · 25th June 2008, 07:33

I think title should change to

Real Madrid are cheating, arrogant C**ts, sad reason to have a Football club.

Chris H · 25th June 2008, 09:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1Dan

Pity there's not a Ronaldo thread for this.

Ooooh, somebody start one please! I have opinions on the matter and must be heard.

Partizan · 25th June 2008, 09:42

Stetement on behalf Manchester United.

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, OUR BOMBING RAID ON MADRID BEGINS AT 14-30 HOURS BST. GUERNICA."

ciderman9000000 · 25th June 2008, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robbo

Should read something like this..

Manchester United have watched with increasing dismay at the tactics employed by Real Madrid this summer in their pursuit of a player still bound by contract to Manchester United. The comments in the Spanish press combined with comments attributed to their president have unsettled the player who has now stated he wishes to move.

The manner of the Madrid approach has fooled no one at Old Trafford as it has involved the same tactics shown by them in previous transfers with utter disregard for both clubs and contracts.

Despite Manchester United making it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that the player was not for sale Real Madrid have continued in this illegal and immoral pursuit and as such we have decided to sell him for no less than 80 million euros.The club will not budge on this amount and the player will not play for the first team again before this amount is paid.

The club feels this amount befits the transfer of a player so highly valued throughout the world and expresses regret that he chooses to play elsewhere than at the home of the current European champions.

If we released that statement our poor gramma and syntax would cause us to become the laughing stock of the footballing world and would surely drive Ronaldo away into the waiting arms of any better educated continental clubs, who acknowledge the existence of the comma, and, have a practical and working knowledge of the £/Š exchange rate.

UnitedRoadRed · 25th June 2008, 11:22

:Start of Club Statement:

Ronaldo is not for sale and is looking forward to retaining the Champions League

:End of Club Statement:

ciderman9000000 · 25th June 2008, 11:27

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

FortBoyard · 25th June 2008, 12:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

How did you even notice that

bcubed · 25th June 2008, 12:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

Fuck sake!

ciderman9000000 · 25th June 2008, 13:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by FortBoyard

How did you even notice that

My mind spans higher plains than most sentient beings', the temporal velocity of my thoughts exceeds that of a standard deity by several orders of magnitude.

BahamaRed · 25th June 2008, 14:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

Nice one.

Sarni · 25th June 2008, 15:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

One 'a' short from being a proper anagram though.

ciderman9000000 · 25th June 2008, 15:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarni

One 'a' short from being a proper anagram though.

You're one 'babybel' short of a picnic if you believe that. Count again, dime-bar.

Alex · 25th June 2008, 16:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rahul

80 million euro's is not enough. Through marketing and commercial status that he'd make Madrid hundred of millions of pounds, the Beckham factor so to speak.

£80-£100 million or no dice.

Completely agree

ZIDANE · 25th June 2008, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

Good spot!

ciderman9000000 · 25th June 2008, 18:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZIDANE

Good spot!

I know, paypal donations are welcome.

BillyBob · 26th June 2008, 06:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

If we released that statement our poor gramma and syntax would cause us to become the laughing stock of the footballing world and would surely drive Ronaldo away into the waiting arms of any better educated continental clubs, who acknowledge the existence of the comma, and, have a practical and working knowledge of the £/Š exchange rate.

What about poor grandpa? And, you, don't know, how, to, use, the, comma

BillyBob · 26th June 2008, 06:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

My mind spans higher plains than most sentient beings', the temporal velocity of my thoughts exceeds that of a standard deity by several orders of magnitude.

That would be "planes" ( as in "of existence", not Boeings). You're either a new manifestation of Revelz as a subtle grammar WUM, or you're just not half as smart as you think you are.

hotshot2004 · 26th June 2008, 06:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Something like this would be more appropriate :-

Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.

Good one mate.

24th June 2008, 11:40	#1 (permalink)
Robbo Listen cockface: I'm a bit of a spastic Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 6,066	The press release after Fergie returns Should read something like this.. Manchester United have watched with increasing dismay at the tactics employed by Real Madrid this summer in their pursuit of a player still bound by contract to Manchester United. The comments in the Spanish press combined with comments attributed to their president have unsettled the player who has now stated he wishes to move. The manner of the Madrid approach has fooled no one at Old Trafford as it has involved the same tactics shown by them in previous transfers with utter disregard for both clubs and contracts. Despite Manchester United making it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that the player was not for sale Real Madrid have continued in this illegal and immoral pursuit and as such we have decided to sell him for no less than 80 million euros.The club will not budge on this amount and the player will not play for the first team again before this amount is paid. The club feels this amount befits the transfer of a player so highly valued throughout the world and expresses regret that he chooses to play elsewhere than at the home of the current European champions.

24th June 2008, 11:47	#2 (permalink)
Rahul First Team Sub Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Hunting The Hunter ! Posts: 5,222	80 million euro's is not enough. Through marketing and commercial status that he'd make Madrid hundred of millions of pounds, the Beckham factor so to speak. £80-£100 million or no dice.

24th June 2008, 12:28	#4 (permalink)
^Red Devil^ Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,241	We have no comment. Don't play this in the media. We are Manchester United.

24th June 2008, 12:33	#5 (permalink)
A1Dan First Team Regular Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Where the goals come from. Posts: 10,756	Pity there's not a Ronaldo thread for this.

24th June 2008, 12:35	#6 (permalink)
CnutOfAllCnuts Bald Boring Cnut Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 20,465	Sir Alex' press release should say: We've sold Ronaldo to Hull, because he is a cnut with a massive ego. Real Madrid are cnuts too. Manchester United are the Champions of England. And Europe. Sir Alex Ferguson

24th June 2008, 12:37	#7 (permalink)
Striker10 First Team Sub Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 6,308	Manchester United will happily do a deal for the registration of Ronaldo, once Real Madrid can afford the transfer fee. We have duly noted what madrid are keen to offer our player in wages and understand the deal might never happen as Ronaldo is 23 already and it will take madrid many years of saving up to afford the transfer fee. We send them a symbolic piggy bank (champions of europe edition) in the post to encourage them to save save save....

24th June 2008, 23:32	#10 (permalink)
reddev07 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 911	It will simply be 'Please watch this video, when I paid Calderon a visit' http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/in...72fdef94659fe4

25th June 2008, 07:33	#11 (permalink)
hotshot2004 Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: Promise Land Posts: 1,609	I think title should change to Real Madrid are cheating, arrogant C**ts, sad reason to have a Football club.

25th June 2008, 09:42	#13 (permalink)
Partizan Cheesy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The frozen tundra, working in a bun shop. I have been in your homes, and they are DIRTY. Posts: 2,966	Stetement on behalf Manchester United. "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, OUR BOMBING RAID ON MADRID BEGINS AT 14-30 HOURS BST. GUERNICA."

25th June 2008, 11:22	#15 (permalink)
UnitedRoadRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester Posts: 2,097	:Start of Club Statement: Ronaldo is not for sale and is looking forward to retaining the Champions League :End of Club Statement:

25th June 2008, 11:27	#16 (permalink)
ciderman9000000 Off his rocker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: H.D.Y.K.I.S.T.I.H.W. Posts: 7,340	Something like this would be more appropriate :- Manchester United are fully aware that to make an anagram of Real Madrid from Ronaldo's name he'd first have to remove the letters "O NO!" and then replace them with "I DREAM!". This is no coincidence.