The Ronaldo saga... in rhyme

pert

Ronaldo would like to play for madrid
But only if they put in a bid
His ma says he staying but we know he's not
Fuck off to Madrid where we hope you rot

AdZzUtd

Ronaldo said he'll stay
we won the CL that very day
real say they'll improve his pay
fuck calderon I think he's gay

Red Pavan

I like this one.

Sorry Pert.

rednev

Ramon Calderon, oh what a cunt
So undignified, in the Ronaldo hunt
Will he stay or will he go
I just don't fucking know
It's a pain in the arse, this transfer saga
Fuck this shit, I'm off to drink some lager

pert

CantonaVeron

Utd are the dream team
the reason Ronaldo sings queen
the reason why Ronaldo's a goal fiend
the reason we all sing

is this saga getting boring
next season Ronaldo's still soaring
as we win the treble
the scousers still looking for medals
he's still wearing red
now Caledron's the walking dead
the Madrid sharks still to be fed
Now global warming stikes the med
Manchester be the only place for sunbeds.

AdZzUtd

CR7 ruled by money or glory?
even in heaven marca ran the story
his mother said he's staying
Transfer muppets are praying
for 200k a week i wish i was playing

[Hellboy]17

KingEric7

The best player in the world, some would say,
It's starting to look like he's on his way,
Driven by fortune, climate and fame,
Not for reasons to do with the beautifual game.

Alas this is the disgraced nature of football,
Players come and then leave us with fuck all,
Loyalty is a bonus, an extra at best,
Yet such players will still prolong a caf wankfest,

But the plot thickens, his mum says he's staying,
Irrespective of what Real Madrid are paying,
May he continue to score goals for evermore,
Then when he is shit we will show him the door.

Unfortunately, this will happen again in a few years,
With Anderson and Nani, the Latin queers,
Real Madrid, the biggest fish in the pond,
They will never be stopped until Fifa respond.

711

Ronnie, Ronnie please don't go,
Because it's true we love you so,

But we all know that if you do,
We'll buy Kaka and Messi too.

holyland red

Looks like Ronaldo is off to Madrid,
the club he supported as a young Madeira kid
They still haven't tabled an official bid,
despite all the rumours about 100m quid

When asked in the Moscow rain he said "I stay",
but ever since he has changed his version everyday
His adoring fans insist there is no doubt he's a red,
but then they explode in a 120-page long thread

And meanwhile the boy himself takes the piss,
and poor Sir Alex has to check-in with Swiss
"I won't add a word now" Ronaldo insists,
need to focus on diving for the next two weeks

Rams

Ronaldo, what have you done?
You've made the Caftard look like bum.

KingEric7

But how shall we replace him, with Messi or Benzema?
Such a decision is an impossible dilemma,
Preferably a player with an exotic name,
But not a Portugueeser, no more of the same.

The mongs would suggest Huntelaar, or perhaps even Affalay,
Despite the fact that no-one's seen them play,
There's no-one out there, i think we're fucked,
Doomed to obscurity, we're going to self destruct,

If only England was warmer, and Madrid didn't exist,
These fucking rumours would eventually desist,
The press just don't stop, they're on a rampage,
Reports even suggest that our replacement is Rammage.

The panic is obvious, many are acting like spastics,
These are the wounds that one player can infilict,
What we must remember after this possible snub,
Is that no single player is bigger than our club.

golden_blunder

we all knew it would some day happen
Madrids dirty tactics would eventually trap him
so lets get Madrid in the dock
oh, and fuck you Ronaldo "suck my cock"

ThatOldRedMagic

A young man has caused mass hysteria
When he said ‘I incline to Iberia,
And I’d go to Madrid
For twelve million quid
Except that I know they’re inferior!'

Tumbling-Dice

The last two are the best so far.

ThatOldRedMagic

On Ronaldo (with apologies to W Shakespeare)

Shall I compare thine to Ann Summers' pay?
Though art more wealthy, with more team spirit,
Rough-tackled, but the darling buds of May
Saw United’s lease on trophies prospering yet.
Sometimes, too hot your eyes t'wards heaven shine,
And seldom is your flair’d perfection dimmed,
Yet every player from form sometime declines,
By chance or injurious fate his path thus trimmed.
But thy eternal magic cannot fade
Nor lose possession of the ball though own’st
Nor shall Calderon brag though playest in his shade
When his unending lines in The Times goest.
So long as Ferguson inspires our themes,
So long play you, and in the theatre of Dreams.

McLovin

This thread needs Pletch's genius.

Andy81

Just been promoted and i thought the newbies were sad.
but here in the main it looks like its twice as bad.
Thousands of people, millions of threads.
Id just like the whole thing put to bed.
All this speculation, will he stay or will he go.
Proberly depends on who offers him the most dough.
at the end of the day when all has been said.
If Ronnies stays or goes, i'll still be a Red.

Coca Cola

Real want to buy
United will not sell
Ronaldo is our guy
We even love his hairgel.

golden_blunder

Good effort Andy

theimperialinn

kikks

In memory of the awesome Twentysixther Thread

Cristianos head is big and red
wants to lie down in Reals bed
will he stay or will he go, no-one seems to know
he's fantastic, leaves fans spastic
Ronaldo

KingEric7

The saga doesn't cease, when will it end?
Ronaldo continues to be a friggin' bellend,
Are we just a stepping stone to much greater things?
From which foreigners such as Ronaldo are able to spring.

What is more desirable about Real Madrid?
Is it because of the wonderful things that Puskas once did?
Maybe it's the lifestyle or even the lack of rain?
Anyone that turns that down has a problem with their brain.

But why not ask Robben, Beckham, Fernando Gago,
Gabriel Heinze, Baptista or Antonio Cassano,
Is life at Madrid all it's cracked up to be?
Rotting on the bench with no job security.

KeyserSoze

Furious George

That's a fucking limerick, not a rhyme.

niMic

Ronaldo said he'd stay
When we won the cup in may,
Now he might be off to Spain
But it doesn't cause me much pain,
Cause at least we've still got Manucho
Who isn't such a big douche-O.



Dislaimer: I don't think Ronaldo is a douche. Unless he leaves.

Fergie's gum

ThatOldRedMagic wanted to have fun
so attempted a rhyme about Ron
George lost his cool
his comments too cruel
That's the last time he'll ever log on

KeyserSoze

He aint called Furious George for nothing.

jojojo

Ronnie, you gotta let me know
Will you stay or will you go?
If you say that you are mine
You'll be the best one of our time
So you got to let me know
Will you stay or will you go?

Always tease tease tease
We're not really hard to please
One day it's red the next it's white
And if you go there they'll be shite
So come on and let me know
Will you stay or will you go?

response...
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
Even though we won double
So come on and let me know

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
But my pay will surely double
So come on and let me know

Forever Red

kikks

Ronaldo, like Keano, has got a magic hat
I wonder if you go to a special store for that?
he scores goals, like Scholes, smashing them in
his strikes give the ball an amazing spin

But with his freekicks, dribbles and frequent scoring
he has catched the eye of Real (and Boring)
Their fecking greasy media machine
so fecking dirty it's obscene

every day, sensational bollocks
"Ronaldo buys 10 Real clocks"
This means he fancies whiter tops
what can you do? call the cops?
phone UEFA, your having a laugh
you'll have more luck posting on the Caf

t