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Just found out my mate is addicted to brake fluid


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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:40   #1 (permalink)
 
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Just found out my mate is addicted to brake fluid
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:42   #2 (permalink)
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here you go sir
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:45   #3 (permalink)
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:46   #4 (permalink)
 
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I went to see a sick friend in hospital earlier...

I found him in the morgue masturbating.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:49   #5 (permalink)
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what the hell does he do with break fluid?
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:50   #6 (permalink)
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what the hell does he do with break fluid?
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:50   #7 (permalink)
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what the hell does he do with break fluid?
please tell me you are serious

please
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:52   #8 (permalink)
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I went to see a sick friend in hospital earlier...

I found him in the morgue masturbating.
Himself, or someone else?
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:54   #9 (permalink)
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I went to see a sick friend in hospital earlier...

I found him in the morgue masturbating.


that one is funny.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:57   #10 (permalink)
 
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I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train.

He was chuffed to bits.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 14:59   #11 (permalink)
 
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What does a Souscer do after his team has won the the Champions League, Premiership and FA Cup?

Turns off his playstation and gets into bed with his sister.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:05   #12 (permalink)
 
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I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on his grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, these fuckers have lost the plot!!
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:07   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train.

He was chuffed to bits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
What does a Souscer do after his team has won the the Champions League, Premiership and FA Cup?

Turns off his playstation and gets into bed with his sister.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on his grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, these fuckers have lost the plot!!


I am in stitches here, baz.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:08   #14 (permalink)
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There's only Baz could pull these off IMO
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:13   #15 (permalink)
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Good work Baz. I just sent a few of these out to my mates
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:15   #16 (permalink)
 
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what the hell does he do with break fluid?
Oh dear.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:16   #17 (permalink)
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I went to see a sick friend in hospital earlier...

I found him in the morgue masturbating.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:16   #18 (permalink)
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Man Lying in bed after having sex with his Thai wife. She keeps stroking his cock. He says, do you like my cock that much? She says, "No I just miss mine."
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:17   #19 (permalink)
 
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won five grand with Claims Direct
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:20   #20 (permalink)
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won five grand with Claims Direct
Humpty should have asked Solvista for advice
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:22   #21 (permalink)
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please tell me you are serious

please
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:22   #22 (permalink)
"Keane will be awesome alongside Torres."
 
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I used to work in a helium factory but I left after only 2 weeks................... I wasn't going to let anyone talk to me in that tone of voice.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:23   #23 (permalink)
 
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When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
congratulations, you've just made it to the "bad jokes" hall of fame
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:24   #24 (permalink)
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I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on his grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, these fuckers have lost the plot!!
I like this one
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:32   #25 (permalink)
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Why does Rupert the Bear wear red, checked trousers?



Because he's a cunt.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:39   #26 (permalink)
 
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I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.

Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:40   #27 (permalink)
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please tell me you are serious

please
Only read the threat title...thought it was a serious thread..
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:40   #28 (permalink)
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what the hell does he do with break fluid?
this one is good
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:42   #29 (permalink)
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here you go sir
That's a pretty cool jacket you've got yourself there CLK. Not as nice as my Peter Werth but still pretty cool.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:46   #30 (permalink)
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I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.

Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.


Who's the idiot sat in work laughing at his computer, yes that'll me.

Cheers Baz, my boss knows i'm obviousy not working on his cash forecast now - as that isn't funny really, or it shouldn't be anyway.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:46   #31 (permalink)
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Only read the threat title...thought it was a serious thread..
At least he's honest!
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:48   #32 (permalink)
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At least he's honest!
True, i'd have tried to play me way out of trouble with "obviously I knew it was a joke, mine was just a poor attempt at humour" or something along those lines.

Fair play, honesty is of course the best policy.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 15:54   #33 (permalink)
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Baz, you are a fucking legend
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:20   #34 (permalink)
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Looks like Baz has found some of Eyepoppers drugs. He is on fire at the moment.
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:22   #35 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I went to see a sick friend in hospital earlier...

I found him in the morgue masturbating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train.

He was chuffed to bits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
What does a Souscer do after his team has won the the Champions League, Premiership and FA Cup?

Turns off his playstation and gets into bed with his sister.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on his grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, these fuckers have lost the plot!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won five grand with Claims Direct
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazalini View Post
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.

Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.


LEGEND !
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:23   #36 (permalink)
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True, i'd have tried to play me way out of trouble with "obviously I knew it was a joke, mine was just a poor attempt at humour" or something along those lines.

Fair play, honesty is of course the best policy.
true! my bad...
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:23   #37 (permalink)
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LEGEND !
Did you really need to quote them all for us to see again?
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:24   #38 (permalink)
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Did you really need to quote them all for us to see again?
Attention Seeking
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:27   #39 (permalink)
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Do you mean brake fluid or is this some sort of hip new drug I've never heard of?

[Disclaimer: Yes, I got the joke]
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Old 23rd January 2009, 16:30   #40 (permalink)
 
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A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....

'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
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