Manchester United Facebook Page

mufcwarm92 · 5th August 2011, 12:53

I'm sure most of you are part of the 17.8 million members of the official page.

The thread idea is shamelessly stolen from RedIssue, but some of the picture/status comments are amazing. It is genuinely difficult to find someone on there from England.

Thought I'd kick us off with a couple of the gems:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Payman Ghafoori

If Usain Bolt had come to man utd in uefa finals FCB (Fucking Condom Bastards) defense could only see the ball in the net and V.Valdes could sponsor Pepsi and drink it while Usain Bolt strikes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanford Mbunda

Hey hey J.S.Park is real machine for our red team. we need his tireless machanical dush. don't just contruct him but permanet this big engine

Maciek · 5th August 2011, 13:34

Before the game with Cosmos.

Quote:

ill predict the result MAN U 8-0 N Y C N A HATRIC BY PAUL SCHOLES THAT WIL B A GIFT to paul

Quote:

When first match MU in barclays priemer league begin?

Quote:

7-0 go go go MU

Quote:

Go MANU! Run through them.....

Quote:

nobody can beat to the red devil forever red devil

Quote:

i love manchester united nemanya vidic verygood

Quote:

Berbatov and owen hagrivs aren't needed sir ,lets them leave but put all effort to recruite scheneid

mufcwarm92 · 5th August 2011, 13:48

That last one is

It literally is 90% simpletons.

Scrumpet · 5th August 2011, 13:49

Fucking Condom Bastards could catch on.

gormless · 5th August 2011, 13:56

Its brilliant. I also love the fake SAF one where people genuinely think they're talking to him, and give him tactical and transfer advice

Raoul · 5th August 2011, 14:07

Not surprising given that half the people on there are kids whose first language isn't English.

The FCB bit was funnny though...

Maajid · 5th August 2011, 14:11

scheneid on Eid. Stuff of dreams.

pauldyson1uk · 5th August 2011, 14:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raoul

Not surprising given that half the people on there are kids whose first language isn't English.

The FCB bit was funnny though...

Spot on comment , Rajan Sangha cant make his mind up for tonight between 2-0 and 10-2 and anything between.

Alwyn · 5th August 2011, 14:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raoul

Not surprising given that half the people on there are kids whose first language isn't English.

We're not saying it's surprising. We're saying it's funny.

Maciek · 1st December 2011, 09:16

"i am true united got kits from past 8 seasond (im only 12) i sing my song of united proud but now it changes were shit im ashamedmy song iz now 'get him out, get him out, oh plz get fergie out' hes been brilliant but his time iz up its time we brought in marinio"

"with this players,United get no future. The united we know today is not the United years ago. This Young players are poor. Sir.Alex go and rest for pep,blanck or villa boas(to be sacked) to do the rest."

"Making bad decisions fergie why sell brown and o Shea and keep shitty Evans central midfield is a joke should have been sorted in the summer get rid of the lack of talent Anderson Carrick Evans Owen berbatov macheda valencia park just not good enuff wake up fergie"

"Forget about TROPHY for this season, Rebuild the team for next season!"

"we need new manager, and you had enough, 25 is enough..."

iSparky · 1st December 2011, 09:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maciek

"with this players,United get no future. The united we know today is not the United years ago. This Young players are poor. Sir.Alex go and rest for pep,blanck or villa boas(to be sacked) to do the rest."

shit, has anyone got a translator for this one?

Solius · 1st December 2011, 09:33

Lets let them all manage the team instead, would be hilarious. Fergie would be gone in an instant.

pauldyson1uk · 1st December 2011, 09:53

I dont read that page any more , its full of idiots.
Most of them English is not there main language and most know fuck all about football

pauldyson1uk · 1st December 2011, 09:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maciek

"i am true united got kits from past 8 seasond (im only 12) i sing my song of united proud but now it changes were shit im ashamedmy song iz now 'get him out, get him out, oh plz get fergie out' hes been brilliant but his time iz up its time we brought in marinio"

"with this players,United get no future. The united we know today is not the United years ago. This Young players are poor. Sir.Alex go and rest for pep,blanck or villa boas(to be sacked) to do the rest."

"Making bad decisions fergie why sell brown and o Shea and keep shitty Evans central midfield is a joke should have been sorted in the summer get rid of the lack of talent Anderson Carrick Evans Owen berbatov macheda valencia park just not good enuff wake up fergie"

"Forget about TROPHY for this season, Rebuild the team for next season!"

"we need new manager, and you had enough, 25 is enough..."

, next week when we win , will they be saying the same.
True United and he is 12

iSparky · 1st December 2011, 09:57

who is this marinio fella? is he any good? maybe we should get him

iSparky · 1st December 2011, 10:11

Quote:

We need a classmidfielder. Sign Sneijder now!!!

does he realise the transfer window is closed at the moment?

and as for this lot

Quote:

his is getting me so Fastrated ,,, Ferguson U need to do something VERY fast .... U need to Buy and sell a lot of players ... First Carling cup .... next week it would be Champions league ... TIll christmas we will be 15 points behind City ...... YOU better do something FERGUSON because we are just going DOWN , DOWN ,DOWN

Quote:

A poor performance it was. U broke my heart. Alex Furgurson shd be fired.

Quote:

all due respect to fergie but if he has gone too soft, then this teams gonna fail, then fans will complain, his health will have a direct effect from the pressure of us fans and he wont be able to carry on

Quote:

you are doing exactly what i want! i hope e owner's of ManUtd dismiss you sir. Alex Illuminati

well they are all tossers

Big-Red · 1st December 2011, 11:19

Next week it'll all be "GGMU love Sir of Alex, best managar in werld."

Colin129 · 1st December 2011, 12:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by pauldyson1uk

I dont read that page any more , its full of idiots.
Most of them English is not their main language and most know fuck all about football

fail/

Solius · 1st December 2011, 12:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colin129

fail/

How is that a fail?

Maciek · 1st December 2011, 12:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solius

How is that a fail?

Colin has fixed it, it was 'there', not 'their'.

Solius · 1st December 2011, 12:23

I see.

TheHorse'sMouth · 1st December 2011, 12:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big-Red

Next week it'll all be "GGMU love Sir of Alex, best managar in werld."

Colin129 · 1st December 2011, 12:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solius

I see.

Do keep up!

Silva · 7th December 2011, 21:44

If you think the caf is reacting badly... FC Basel 2-1... | Facebook

Alwyn · 7th December 2011, 21:56

Quote:

FERGIE, FERGIE, U ARE ARROGANT AND U COST US THIS CUP, U ALSO COST US THE CARLIN CUP, AM VEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRYYYY ASHAMED BY THAT, WE NEED TO BUY PLAYERS AT THE BACK MIDFIELD AND ATTACK, WE COULDNT FINISH ANY CHANCES WE HAD,, WHAT A SHAME TODAY,

Quote:

stop talking about the SIR you assholes... so many players were injured... are you that blind

Quote:

Dy plyd lyk a secndtear team . Dy wer alfl . Nxt tym mybe we cn win da europa cup

Quote:

Reds my foot!! U are fucking murderers!!

Quote:

You contaminated my day,ROONEY is too blunt to be a striker.

FFS. They contaminated his day! Fucking blunt Rooney.

Quote:

no MORRREEEEEE bELIVE

Quote:

are eliminated by that? I can not believe that we eliminated?? I HATE YOUUUUUUU Sr.Alex

Quote:

Are gk is shit waste of money he don't use his hads ffs and are centre mid needs to be stronger.

Quote:

Man U 4lyf

Quote:

wake up alex... u need to buy quality / class player... jones, smalling, evans, evra, park, macheda, welbeck all are just average player... they are not born to be CHAMPION... frustrated....

Quote:

Eat a dick wesley

Quote:

Its just any loosing game. Nothing to worry about. Man utd still the best!!!

Quote:

we are out but we were better. we just weren't lucky tonight. maybe the biggest mistake was Macheda. . useless. . although it was too late . . SAF - you're an old dick.. but i respect you

Quote:

Lol if u support man utd u fail epicly

Quote:

I blame Ferguson for this defeat.. That bloody ass hole choose 2 old players in 2 important place.. Fuck you..

Silva · 7th December 2011, 21:59

The best I saw was someone saying "I'm ashamed to support you now" what a prick

pauldyson1uk · 7th December 2011, 22:01

what gets me with that fucking page , is that we lose and play shit and 1000's of so called United fans will like the page WTF is that all about.

Then the rest of the muppets come and put utter shit on there

Adzzz · 7th December 2011, 22:02

"SAF - you're an old dick - but I respect you."

Leg-End · 7th December 2011, 22:03

Quote:

You contaminated my day,ROONEY is too blunt to be a striker.

That is brilliant.

WR · 7th December 2011, 22:03

"Eat a dick wesley"

CLK_FPC · 7th December 2011, 22:08

A man said fuck off Sir Alexis? I'm done with this life! Sir Alexis? From where did he get this name?

Silva · 7th December 2011, 22:08

Slightly illiterate version of the cafs' analysis:

Quote:

Nani ply gd n' fantastic passes bt our striker ws not even gud i dn' t knw y?

Aboutreika18 · 7th December 2011, 22:10

That Rooney one's going in my location.

Adzzz · 7th December 2011, 22:12

"Pliz papa ferguson united need midfielder!!"

"Bring in ole gunner sholesker"

Ole and Scholes lovechild.

Silva · 7th December 2011, 22:14

these planks are actually cheering me up.

SteveJ · 7th December 2011, 22:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adzzz

"SAF - you're an old dick - but I respect you."

SteveJ · 7th December 2011, 22:23

Quote:

Dy plyd lyk a secndtear team . Dy wer alfl .

And who can argue with logic like that??

pauldyson1uk · 7th December 2011, 22:23

mind you City fans are no better , one muppet has just posted this.

The new Man Utd fragrence this Chirstmas . Channel No.5.

Are they not in the same boat , fucking idiot

Damien · 7th December 2011, 22:28

Quote:

Just one more thing!!! I told the fucking MUFC board to BUY Sneijder but no one listens to me!!! What a mess up SHAME.....

Quote:

MAN U is a disgrace . Infact, i'm so upset that i've decided not to watch man u's matches until Sir goes to the market and buy good player in the January's transfer window..

Quote:

Fergie if you re saying this is your best team, i think its time you resign. We told you before the season started to buy players but you decided to keep quiet on fans. I thing you have started to realise that even us fans have played the game before and we are coaches. Fergie, i respect you but also try to listen to our advise. We love the team. This is not united. You need to buy a serious supportive stricker because you can't wait on rooney. Rooney is the poorest stricker in united and highly paid. He thinks he can't be benched. Buy 2 serious world class real midfielders who can also run to the wings. You are going to change your system which is very easy to defend. You love young but lets agree, he is a flop. Young is a bench player. Look at pogba refusing to sign a contract. Let him go. We don't need players who are not royal to the team. Change the team. Sale some of those players. Whats evans, berbatov, macheda, gibson, park, and pogba to raise revenue. My friend, united has to qualify to champions league. Its tight. Feel the heat but break the bank and spend so that we can start to feel united again. We can be better than this.

..

Dobba · 7th December 2011, 22:28

"Dy plyd lyk a secndtear team . Dy wer alfl . Nxt tym mybe we cn win da europa cup"

Is that Welsh?

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5th August 2011, 13:48	#3 (permalink)
mufcwarm92 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: W3103 Posts: 3,316	That last one is It literally is 90% simpletons.

5th August 2011, 13:49	#4 (permalink)
Scrumpet There are no words Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Posts: 15,200	Fucking Condom Bastards could catch on.

5th August 2011, 13:56	#5 (permalink)
gormless Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: comfortable and settled in my rut Posts: 3,933	Its brilliant. I also love the fake SAF one where people genuinely think they're talking to him, and give him tactical and transfer advice

5th August 2011, 14:07	#6 (permalink)
Raoul Administrator Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Afghanistan Posts: 42,450	Not surprising given that half the people on there are kids whose first language isn't English. The FCB bit was funnny though...

5th August 2011, 14:11	#7 (permalink)
Maajid Formerly Mad Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 6,361	scheneid on Eid. Stuff of dreams.

1st December 2011, 09:16	#10 (permalink)
Maciek Arrogant prick who is best ignored Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 'Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact, right? And it never really works out that way. It’s probably the same cow and not as good as your own cow.' Posts: 10,721	"i am true united got kits from past 8 seasond (im only 12) i sing my song of united proud but now it changes were shit im ashamedmy song iz now 'get him out, get him out, oh plz get fergie out' hes been brilliant but his time iz up its time we brought in marinio" "with this players,United get no future. The united we know today is not the United years ago. This Young players are poor. Sir.Alex go and rest for pep,blanck or villa boas(to be sacked) to do the rest." "Making bad decisions fergie why sell brown and o Shea and keep shitty Evans central midfield is a joke should have been sorted in the summer get rid of the lack of talent Anderson Carrick Evans Owen berbatov macheda valencia park just not good enuff wake up fergie" "Forget about TROPHY for this season, Rebuild the team for next season!" "we need new manager, and you had enough, 25 is enough..."

1st December 2011, 09:33	#12 (permalink)
Solius I am a mod, I swear Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Everybody will be dancing and be doing it right. Posts: 49,606	Lets let them all manage the team instead, would be hilarious. Fergie would be gone in an instant.

1st December 2011, 09:53	#13 (permalink)
pauldyson1uk First Team Regular Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wythenshawe watching Crappy Fims Posts: 20,472	I dont read that page any more , its full of idiots. Most of them English is not there main language and most know fuck all about football

1st December 2011, 09:57	#15 (permalink)
iSparky Waiting on Noodle... Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Baile Átha Cliath Posts: 43,338	who is this marinio fella? is he any good? maybe we should get him

1st December 2011, 11:19	#17 (permalink)
Big-Red First Team Regular Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The arse groove of my sofa Posts: 12,611	Next week it'll all be "GGMU love Sir of Alex, best managar in werld."

1st December 2011, 12:23	#21 (permalink)
Solius I am a mod, I swear Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Everybody will be dancing and be doing it right. Posts: 49,606	I see.

7th December 2011, 21:44	#24 (permalink)
Silva Sticky tip Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 9,719	If you think the caf is reacting badly... FC Basel 2-1... \| Facebook

7th December 2011, 21:59	#26 (permalink)
Silva Sticky tip Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 9,719	The best I saw was someone saying "I'm ashamed to support you now" what a prick

7th December 2011, 22:01	#27 (permalink)
pauldyson1uk First Team Regular Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wythenshawe watching Crappy Fims Posts: 20,472	what gets me with that fucking page , is that we lose and play shit and 1000's of so called United fans will like the page WTF is that all about. Then the rest of the muppets come and put utter shit on there

7th December 2011, 22:02	#28 (permalink)
Adzzz Astrophysical Genius Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A Forest with Astro Turf Facility. Now a Guardian of the West. Posts: 25,785	"SAF - you're an old dick - but I respect you."

7th December 2011, 22:03	#30 (permalink)
WR Formerly Wayne_Rooney Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,673	"Eat a dick wesley"

7th December 2011, 22:08	#31 (permalink)
CLK_FPC First Team Sub Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: ★Live Good☆Look Good★ Posts: 8,652	A man said fuck off Sir Alexis? I'm done with this life! Sir Alexis? From where did he get this name?

7th December 2011, 22:10	#33 (permalink)
Aboutreika18 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Creeping down the backstreet on D's Posts: 4,355	That Rooney one's going in my location.

7th December 2011, 22:12	#34 (permalink)
Adzzz Astrophysical Genius Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A Forest with Astro Turf Facility. Now a Guardian of the West. Posts: 25,785	"Pliz papa ferguson united need midfielder!!" "Bring in ole gunner sholesker" Ole and Scholes lovechild.

7th December 2011, 22:14	#35 (permalink)
Silva Sticky tip Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 9,719	these planks are actually cheering me up.

7th December 2011, 22:23	#38 (permalink)
pauldyson1uk First Team Regular Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wythenshawe watching Crappy Fims Posts: 20,472	mind you City fans are no better , one muppet has just posted this. The new Man Utd fragrence this Chirstmas . Channel No.5. Are they not in the same boat , fucking idiot

7th December 2011, 22:28	#40 (permalink)
Dobba First Team Sub Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: "You and your paper can fuck off." Posts: 8,378	"Dy plyd lyk a secndtear team . Dy wer alfl . Nxt tym mybe we cn win da europa cup" Is that Welsh?