selfishness

EricaNo7

does this increase, the older you get?

my parents went for their annual christmas outing with the rest of the residents to Bowburn Hall, and both my aunts were invited, mainly because one had lived there too.
Anyway my poor dad had one of his syncope fits ( when he passes out ) and apparently it was very worrying, so they got him beside a window for fresh air until the ambulance came, until one of my bloody aunts told them to close the window as it was making her cold! Then she kept saying that daddy had ruined the meal for her ( don't suppose he had much fun either ) , the consequence is that she's banned from going next year. I really want to be the one to tell the old bat too. She never was the most pleasant but she's steadily getting even worse. Then my other aunt keeps giving my dad vicious looks because he's alive and her husband isn't.
Charming specimens, both

Colin129

I don't think that's selfishness tbh Erica.

They sound more bitter than selfish.

Penna

I don't know if it increases - I think there are selfish people of all ages.

I think we are probably the least selfish in our middle years - quite a lot of young people seem to think the world revolves around them and their interests and so do many elderly folk. Your aunt sounds like she has completely retreated into the world of 'me me me'.

Your story reminded me of my mother's aunt, who was notoriously selfish. When my dad's favourite brother died suddenly my dad rang to tell her, he was very upset and finding it hard to speak. He managed to say that Eric had died and her immediate reply was 'Well, I've not been feeling too good myself as it happens'.

It became a family joke, but it wasn't funny really.

Moyespopper

Could quit easily be fear.

Maybe your Aunt needs a hug, and some time and patience.

Silva

It's probably not the time or the place and I'm sorry, but that really tickled me. I've got an image in my mind of a vindictive old woman sitting in the corner bitterly staring at at your pap and making growly noises.

EricaNo7

I can imagine mine saying that
I think we've passed that stage, she just not very nice. My other aunt has been told she has Alzheimers's so she's made her move into a flat next to her, which in turn has made my aunt ( with the Alzheimers ) feel even more disorientated. Unfortunately the worst of the aunts ( the non alzheimers one ) won't listen to reason or advice from anyone

EricaNo7

and you've got my Aunty Pat in one!!

FortBoyard

First world problems

Penna

Well, I suspect that the underlying trait is common to every world.

EricaNo7

they are both very bitter I agree. It's very difficult for me to keep quiet and still be respecful to them. I caught one aunt telling my son how my dad had ruined her life nearly - because she moved into a flat he'd built and the sound proofing hadn't been adequate from the flat above, quite normal in flats, so daddy took the floorboards up and laid even more sound proofing ( no charge ) but it still wasn't good enough for her.
Funnily enough both aunts ended up moving to another set of flats, one lived over the other, and one aunt forbade the other from flushing the toilet in the middle of the night due to the noise! she made her muffle the clock too

oates

Life is too short to allow these people to hurt you which is their only small pleasure. Time to let them stew in their own company when they get like this Erica.

EricaNo7

it's true, oates. I often take my Jack Russell when i visit my parents, as I know I'm not allowed to enter either aunts' flat because of the dog hairs

rufus diabolus

kouroux

I don't think I have ever been more selfish than these days because I'm dealing with so-called friends who contact me whenever they need cash.

Slevs

I used to have friends like that. Just ditch them and get some real ones. Makes your life a lot more easier.

I think the older you get, the more selfish you get. "He's ruined my meal?" Well, go away and eat somewhere else then.

Mr Anderson

I'm a bit selfish at times, you gotta be at times otherwise you will get walked over.

But ya Erica, she justs sounds a bitter old cow.

Wibble

Many older people get more selfish, more self centered and often bitter as they get older with declining mental health and/or illness making things worse. Of course many don't. My Mother's behavior was always very unstable and self centred but she just got worse and worse as she got older and when Alzheimers finally set in it didn't seem like that big a change.

Slevs

I didn't believe that a couple of years ago, I've got the same perspective as you do now, I think it's mainly because other are too selfish and just walk all over you if you show a hint of being nice.

Decotron

Is she single?

EricaNo7

Been widowed three times , my dad calls her the Black Widow when she's been horrible to him

Penna

That's either really bad luck, or she breaks their spirits completely.

R.N7

I believe it's true. That's why so many people get more right wing as they get older.

Dave89

Oohh...

EricaNo7

Well it's a bit of both. Her first husband was quite evil and ruled her with a rod of iron ( apparently ), my grandfather paid for my parents first house on the basis that they would pay back as and when and she reckoned my uncle made her write to my mum telling her her to pay him back immediately. There was always something fishy about it tbh. She left him after 20 years, he killed himself and the dog then she married again for another 20 years. He was much younger and she ruled him with a rod of iron until he died of kidney complications. Then she met a man six weeks later ( whose wife had died two weeks previously ) and eventually married him. He died of a heart attack, and she reckons she's finished with men now

ukbob

Well I can tell you that No, one does not become more selfish as one gets older and I am fricking old!! We are both very tolerant of our family wishes and we are all together right now. We do not want to do everything that they do like yesterday, they all went karting. Obviously I would have beaten the crap out of them all but decided to stay at home and let someone else win.
Right at this moment the house is full of laughter and fun as we are all deciding to go to the beach or not, its raining. My wife is all for it as she would be even if it was snowing.
Anyway I can say that with my wife and I, No you do not get more selfish with age.

Relevated

They dont get more selfish, they just stop caring what other people think.

ukbob

Rubish!

Silva

I reckon the ones who stop getting laid become rather frustrated and take it all out on everyone else.

Relevated

see, you spelled that wrong and I doubt you care about it.

EricaNo7

Well my aunt is 85 which makes her at least 30 years older than you

ukbob

Rubish!

ukbob

Now I know why Ilove you so much!!!

EricaNo7

Of course !! Xxx

oates

I don't know if it is a selfishness but I find with my own mother who is 76 that she gets ruder. She probably doesn't particularly feel she is being rude but like some other older people I notice that they seem to stop caring what effect their words can have. At the same time she seems to like taking offence at what other people say to her very easily, I've heard her do it, and while what the other person says seems to have been very inoffensive to me my Mum will say things like "What do you mean by that?" and then say something completely in-appropriate and rude.

She strikes up very quick friendships but these all burn out just as quickly with similar episodes of taking offence at the drop of a hat and then burning her bridges, napalming them would be more accurate. Maybe it's not all older people, maybe it's just my Mum. Anyway, I'm terrified of becoming like her.


By contrast I've just had my dear old Dad on the phone who is losing his memory for words but is so grateful for a small present, a card or letter and is only approaching near cheeky offensiveness in attempting to chat up Penna who he likes talking on the phone to for longer than me. Can't blame him really.

Jippy

Mine is 65 and just gets more stubborn. For example, she never rings my brother and complains when he doesn't ring her. She likes to see how long he go without calling then use it as a weapon against him. They are possibly as stubborn as each other but ultimately it hurts her far more as she gets to see her grandchildren far less as a result.

Liam147

My grandma's 82 and seems to be getting more selfish and demanding, despite knowing she's becoming more of a burden on the family. I find it quite annoying really, considering how she's treated various members of the family in the past. Shame.

Hectic

Fucking hell old people, get it together.

Grinner

The best thing to do with annoying old people is to threaten to put them in a home, or actually surprise them with a visit to one 'just to have a look'.

Ivor Ballokov

My grandparents tended to argue because neither could hear what the other said.

They sometimes bickered about little things too and I think that was partly down to these things becoming magnified because they had such little else to worry about/do.

They were both generous to the end though.

Penna

Oooh, I'd love to take Honey our St B, she not only sheds everywhere, she drools too.