The Things that Keep Newbies Awake at Night Thread

Sebinator II · 28th June 2011, 23:56

There's a spider the size of a bloody tea pot under my bed, right at the back! My bed is a circle and its right underneath wear the pillows are, I'm tired and sweaty and I just wanna go to bed, how do I catch if?

please, serious answers!

moses · 28th June 2011, 23:57

Take a picture and post it or I'm deleting this thread you whiney attention seeker. You have a minute.

rcoobc · 28th June 2011, 23:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

There's a spider the size of a bloody tea pot under my bed, right at the back! My bed is a circle and its right underneath wear the pillows are, I'm tired and sweaty and I just wanna go to bed

please, serious answers!

Paper bin, paper, shirt, cloth, anything really.

Also why is your bed a circle.

Also why are you a massive girl.

Sebinator II · 28th June 2011, 23:57

Ummmn I'll try

moses · 28th June 2011, 23:58

Hang on, his bed is a circle? We'll discuss this after the pic.

Sebinator II · 28th June 2011, 23:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcoobc

Paper bin, paper, shirt, cloth, anything really.

Also why is your bed a circle.

Also why are you a massive girl.

but I can't get to it cos its stuck under the bed.

moses · 28th June 2011, 23:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

but I can't get to it cos its stuck under the bed.

Shut the fuck up, and get a camera

Persian-Fred · 28th June 2011, 23:59

My 5 point plan to catching spiders

1) Grab a glass + leaflet
2) Locate spider
3) Put glass over spider, being careful to not crush legs/said spider
4) Slide leaflet under glass and spider, so the spider cannot escape
5) Remove spider to save place i.e garden

Look-a-Hill · 28th June 2011, 23:59

You have a circular bed? Are you a pimp?

As for how to get it. Take your mattress off and stand on the thing through the bars. Or put a sock on your hand and crush it if you can't get your legs through. Assuming your bed makes it possible to do that. Otherwise you're fucked.

cw1984 · 29th June 2011, 00:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

There's a spider the size of a bloody tea pot under my bed, right at the back! My bed is a circle and its right underneath wear the pillows are, I'm tired and sweaty and I just wanna go to bed, how do I catch if?

please, serious answers!

Get a glass or bowl or a news paper or something you girl.

Jason Park · 29th June 2011, 00:00

I'd be more worried about your circle bed than a big fuckoff spider.

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:01

It's there somewhere but I'm scared

Look-a-Hill · 29th June 2011, 00:01

It's not there. Maybe it's on your back?

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:01

Those round things are aero bubbles I tried throwing at it to get it to move

B Wilson · 29th June 2011, 00:01

I hate that feeling when it sinks in that you wont be sleeping till its confirmed dead, missing or presumed dead

moses · 29th June 2011, 00:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

Those round things are aero bubbles I tried throwing at it to get it to move

Seriously you, the next thing you post is a picture of that spider.

Liam147 · 29th June 2011, 00:02

Get your vacuum cleaner out, and terminate the cunt.

ericthered76 · 29th June 2011, 00:02

mate, you have rabbit shite under your bed. sort it out

cw1984 · 29th June 2011, 00:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

Those round things are aero bubbles I tried throwing at it to get it to move

Liam147 · 29th June 2011, 00:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

Those round things are aero bubbles I tried throwing at it to get it to move

One of the lesser-known methods of getting rid of those pesky arachnids!

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Look-a-Hill

You have a circular bed? Are you a pimp?

As for how to get it. Take your mattress off and stand on the thing through the bars. Or put a sock on your hand and crush it if you can't get your legs through. Assuming your bed makes it possible to do that. Otherwise you're fucked.

No I'm no pimp but the whole bed is just a mattress with steel legs. Holy FUCK

I thought I saw it on my back but it was just my armpit hair

Jason Park · 29th June 2011, 00:04

Is that a condom?

It looks a bit small, wasn't sure whether I should ask or not.

Persian-Fred · 29th June 2011, 00:04

Spoiler

He's a sneaky bastard, I'll have to admit... Look at that smug grin!

moses · 29th June 2011, 00:05

He must have a fucking tiny tea pot

Jippy · 29th June 2011, 00:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by moses

Hang on, his bed is a circle? We'll discuss this after the pic.

Sounds like that honeymoon suite in Agra in An Idiot Abroad where KP finds sand paper and paint thinner in the cupboard (plus the en suite shed). Brilliant episode.

AntonioValencia · 29th June 2011, 00:05

hate them spiders!

this pic makes me crap in my pants every time

rcoobc · 29th June 2011, 00:06

I had one crawl across my cheek, and onto my mouth once, and it was Massive! In one movement I swept it from my face and into the corner. My heart was going like fuck,

Liam147 · 29th June 2011, 00:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jippy

Sounds like that honeymoon suite in Agra in An Idiot Abroad where KP finds sand paper and paint thinner in the cupboard (plus the en suite shed). Brilliant episode.

"Oh look, an en-suite shed."

By far the best line of the series.

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason Park

Is that a condom?

It looks a bit small, wasn't sure whether I should ask or not.

its celotape I used to attach a flashlight to a broom to delve further into the bed

Look-a-Hill · 29th June 2011, 00:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by B Wilson

I hate that feeling when it sinks in that you wont be sleeping till its confirmed dead, missing or presumed dead

The last two are no good. If it's not it'll get you in your sleep. It has to be dead, or at least out the premises if it's large enough and easy enough to catch to make me feel guilty.

I hate you AV!

I looked at it twice and literally did two massive shudders each time.

Liam147 · 29th June 2011, 00:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by AntonioValencia

hate them spiders!

this pic makes me crap in my pants every time

Remind anyone else of that Harry Potter scene?

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:08

Please help people! I'm seriously, I just wanna sleep

DeweyMUFC · 29th June 2011, 00:08

Sebinator!! I has a question...is your name meant to be Serbinator?

Guy Incognito · 29th June 2011, 00:09

Apparently the average human will eat up to four spiders in their lifetime.

So it's no loss if it crawls in your mouth.

Sebinator II · 29th June 2011, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeweyMUFC

Sebinator!! I has a question...is your name meant to be Serbinator?

yeah but can you help me? Please!

Look-a-Hill · 29th June 2011, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

Please help people! I'm seriously, I just wanna sleep

Fork on a stick?

JustAFan · 29th June 2011, 00:11

No bug spray? Try some other kind of aerosol just to try to scare it out.

Got a cat? they make good spider killers

boyfriend or husband or brother or father....they make good spider killers also. It is one of my main jobs in my house to kill the spiders my wife or daughter see.

Liam147 · 29th June 2011, 00:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sebinator II

Please help people! I'm seriously, I just wanna sleep

I've already said, find it, get the nozzle part of your vacuum cleaner, and whammy! Gone.

moses · 29th June 2011, 00:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeweyMUFC

Sebinator!! I has a question...is your name meant to be Serbinator?

Totally, he can't spell, if he goes it's just strengthening the spelling ability of the global gene pool, no loss.

m1tch · 29th June 2011, 00:11

If you're in England then man up! If it's a Brown Recluse / Black Widow / Funnel Web then fair enough.

28th June 2011, 23:56	#1 (permalink)
Sebinator II Banned Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Let's pretend, Let's pretend, Let's pretend we scored a goal, Let's pretend we scored a goal... Posts: 3,202	The Things that Keep Newbies Awake at Night Thread There's a spider the size of a bloody tea pot under my bed, right at the back! My bed is a circle and its right underneath wear the pillows are, I'm tired and sweaty and I just wanna go to bed, how do I catch if? please, serious answers!

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28th June 2011, 23:57	#2 (permalink)
moses Gone fishing Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A sizeable fondness for drab and dreary pastimes in The Free State. Posts: 9,527	Take a picture and post it or I'm deleting this thread you whiney attention seeker. You have a minute.

28th June 2011, 23:57	#4 (permalink)
Sebinator II Banned Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Let's pretend, Let's pretend, Let's pretend we scored a goal, Let's pretend we scored a goal... Posts: 3,202	Ummmn I'll try

28th June 2011, 23:58	#5 (permalink)
moses Gone fishing Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A sizeable fondness for drab and dreary pastimes in The Free State. Posts: 9,527	Hang on, his bed is a circle? We'll discuss this after the pic.

28th June 2011, 23:59	#8 (permalink)
Persian-Fred Banned Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Chelsea. Come at me bitches! Posts: 7,275	My 5 point plan to catching spiders 1) Grab a glass + leaflet 2) Locate spider 3) Put glass over spider, being careful to not crush legs/said spider 4) Slide leaflet under glass and spider, so the spider cannot escape 5) Remove spider to save place i.e garden

28th June 2011, 23:59	#9 (permalink)
Look-a-Hill Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 810	You have a circular bed? Are you a pimp? As for how to get it. Take your mattress off and stand on the thing through the bars. Or put a sock on your hand and crush it if you can't get your legs through. Assuming your bed makes it possible to do that. Otherwise you're fucked.

29th June 2011, 00:00	#11 (permalink)
Jason Park Banned Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 829	I'd be more worried about your circle bed than a big fuckoff spider.

29th June 2011, 00:01	#12 (permalink)
Sebinator II Banned Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Let's pretend, Let's pretend, Let's pretend we scored a goal, Let's pretend we scored a goal... Posts: 3,202	It's there somewhere but I'm scared

29th June 2011, 00:01	#13 (permalink)
Look-a-Hill Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 810	It's not there. Maybe it's on your back?

29th June 2011, 00:01	#14 (permalink)
Sebinator II Banned Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Let's pretend, Let's pretend, Let's pretend we scored a goal, Let's pretend we scored a goal... Posts: 3,202	Those round things are aero bubbles I tried throwing at it to get it to move

29th June 2011, 00:01	#15 (permalink)
B Wilson Banned Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Wolf / Villager Posts: 104	I hate that feeling when it sinks in that you wont be sleeping till its confirmed dead, missing or presumed dead

29th June 2011, 00:02	#17 (permalink)
Liam147 Yoko Ono Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: "It aint the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." Posts: 8,782	Get your vacuum cleaner out, and terminate the cunt.

29th June 2011, 00:02	#18 (permalink)
ericthered76 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Is kicking more funk than a shaolin monk, forcing his Mrs to swallow more jism than a man in prison Posts: 1,835	mate, you have rabbit shite under your bed. sort it out

29th June 2011, 00:04	#22 (permalink)
Jason Park Banned Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 829	Is that a condom? It looks a bit small, wasn't sure whether I should ask or not.

29th June 2011, 00:04	#23 (permalink)
Persian-Fred Banned Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Chelsea. Come at me bitches! Posts: 7,275	Spoiler He's a sneaky bastard, I'll have to admit... Look at that smug grin!

29th June 2011, 00:05	#24 (permalink)
moses Gone fishing Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A sizeable fondness for drab and dreary pastimes in The Free State. Posts: 9,527	He must have a fucking tiny tea pot

29th June 2011, 00:05	#26 (permalink)
AntonioValencia Banned Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Right Wing Posts: 1,138	hate them spiders! this pic makes me crap in my pants every time

29th June 2011, 00:06	#27 (permalink)
rcoobc Not as crap as eferyone thinks Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Corrupting West Brom Posts: 17,197	I had one crawl across my cheek, and onto my mouth once, and it was Massive! In one movement I swept it from my face and into the corner. My heart was going like fuck,

29th June 2011, 00:08	#32 (permalink)
Sebinator II Banned Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Let's pretend, Let's pretend, Let's pretend we scored a goal, Let's pretend we scored a goal... Posts: 3,202	Please help people! I'm seriously, I just wanna sleep

29th June 2011, 00:08	#33 (permalink)
DeweyMUFC Banned Join Date: May 2011 Location: Ireland Posts: 4,018	Sebinator!! I has a question...is your name meant to be Serbinator?

29th June 2011, 00:09	#34 (permalink)
Guy Incognito Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2011 Location: Somewhere Posts: 4,765	Apparently the average human will eat up to four spiders in their lifetime. So it's no loss if it crawls in your mouth.

29th June 2011, 00:11	#37 (permalink)
JustAFan Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: USA Posts: 4,200	No bug spray? Try some other kind of aerosol just to try to scare it out. Got a cat? they make good spider killers boyfriend or husband or brother or father....they make good spider killers also. It is one of my main jobs in my house to kill the spiders my wife or daughter see.

29th June 2011, 00:11	#40 (permalink)
m1tch Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,845	If you're in England then man up! If it's a Brown Recluse / Black Widow / Funnel Web then fair enough.