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RedCafe.net Podcast Episode #27
now available
6th May 2008, 20:38
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#1 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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Absolutely Random footballers from the 1990's
#1 Guy "Corporal Punishment" Whittingham
 This bloke was pronounced a legend by many and more often as Villa Ace Guy Whittingham. Scored goals of majesty and genius, nearly signed for Man United, and eventually bankrupted both Newport and Newbury before fading into complete abscurity. Guy Whittingham |
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6th May 2008, 20:42
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#2 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#2 Ian Walker, aka that Arsehole
 Notable for looking a complete knobhead every time you saw the cunt, Beckham before Beckam really. Went on to marry a page 3 girl, and then fuck some random blonde for the laugh, disgracing himself and his well respected old man. In May 2006 Walker was rewarded for his patience in not playing a single league game for Bolton by being given a further two year contract. Presumably dead. Ian Walker. |
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6th May 2008, 20:50
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#3 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#3 Ian Woan
 A decent left winger thought by many to be the key to Englands troubles down the left side of midfield, but alas, never got the call up. Many say it's becasue he lacked passion. An absolute nobody of a man. Woan has recently been garnering plaudits in recent times within the music circle, having formed a promising Sludgecore outfit named Cretinous Cavern with former Forest teammate Steve Chettle. |
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6th May 2008, 20:56
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#4 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#4 Jason Lee aka Pineapple head
 Got his chance in the first team at Notts Forrest when Stan Collymore (another lunatic who deserves a mention) fecked off to Liverpool. Looked a promising footballer, but once the Fantasy football programme with Badiel and Skinner got a hold of him, he was never the same. Had a rather impressive chant which went "He's got a pineapple, on his head, he's got a pineapple, on his head!" (to the tune of He's Got The Whole World In His Hands by Laurie London). Since moved to Notts County and shaved his head. Jason Lee. |
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6th May 2008, 21:02
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#6 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#5 Ruel Fox
 best described as a fast, tricky wing wizard who was a handful for defenders and provided good crosses. Described by Kevin Keegan as the best winger in the league by miles in 1995/1996, feckin numpty that he was and is. He is currently coach of non-league Whitton United F.C., who play in the Ridgeons League. In 2002, Norwich supporters voted Fox an inaugural member of the Norwich City F.C. Hall of Fame, which says a fair bit about how shit Norwich City really are. Ruel Fox |
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6th May 2008, 21:12
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#7 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#6 Richie Humphreys
 Scored two of the most amazing goals I've ever seen early on in the 1995-6 season, scored a goal that was recorded at 95.9mph, one of the hardest goals in the history of football. Humphreys also scored in the following match against Leeds United. Two games later, Humphreys scored a much talked about goal when he went on a 50 yard run and scored a spectacular chipped goal against Leicester City Johan Cruijff, the guest of honour for a preseason game against Utrect praised Humphreys and said he was the next Marco van Basten. Was Englands next big hope, wearing the famed number 9 jersey at the 1997 under 20 FIFA world cup. Next seen playing for Hartlepool United. |
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6th May 2008, 21:22
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#8 (permalink) | |
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from Redcafe (matchfixing department)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: We want our own TV deal...
Posts: 14,935
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6th May 2008, 21:26
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#9 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#7 Nicky Summerbee
 Booed all the way out of Manchester city, and nearly every club he ever played for, thats our Nick (the prick). A particular high point being a well-publicised liaison with TV presenter, Melanie Sykes. Released by Tamworth at the end of the 05-06 season the reason being that he's Nicky Summerbee, an absolute wanker. Presumably playing parks football whilst having unresolved issues with his dada, a proper footballer. Nicky Summerbee. |
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6th May 2008, 21:28
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#10 (permalink) | |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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6th May 2008, 21:48
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#13 (permalink) |
 Off his rockerJoin Date: Jul 2006
Location: نحن أبدا سنموت, نحن أبدا سيموت.
Posts: 9,237
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#8 Tino Asprilla
 Asprilla left Parma for Newcastle United for 6.7 million pounds in 1995 where he played for three seasons and was hot one minute and cold the next. There were problems off the field too. He famously scored a hat-trick for Newcastle against Barcelona in an unforgettable 1997 Champions League game at St James' Park, which ended in a 3-2 win for Newcastle. This would be the high point in his time playing for the Magpies, marking the tail end of The Entertainers era of the club but making him a cult hero on Tyneside. Asprilla had to be officially working as a construction worker to gain a visa into Italy, where he rejoined Parma in 1998, scoring the goal that brought Milans "Invincible" run to an end. His career then wound down from that point, playing for various clubs in Argentina, Mexico, Chile and Colombia. He was known by his supporters in his home country as The Octopus for his uniquely flexible and fluid style. To everyone else he was 'Tino', or '2 goal Tino', as his goals usually came in twos. |
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6th May 2008, 21:53
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#17 (permalink) | |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Even in the dressing room afterwards, I had no remorse. My attitude was, fuck him. What goes around comes around. He got his just rewards. He fucked me over and my attitude is an eye for an eye.
Posts: 1,426
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7th May 2008, 00:18
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#24 (permalink) | |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Chelsea fan.
Posts: 4,305
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Here's a few more.... Gavin Peacock, Nigel Spackman, Craig Burley, Paul Furlong and David Hopkin (he was shite).  Also, how nice was our kit back then? Gavin Peacock- good little player, scored in 1994 at Old Trafford and Stamford Brdge in two 1-0 wins for Chelsea. Hit the woodwork in the cup final before we got crushed. Nigel Spackman- I always remember him as a really old, slow player (he played for some decent clubs though). Craig Burley- no front teeth, scored a few good goals for us. Paul Furlong- Our big money signing one year £2.5mil. Was cack but worked hard. Scored a strange goal after charging down a goalkeepers attemted clearance and the ball twatted him on the back of the head and went in. David Hopkin- The worst player i've seen wear the blue (or orange and grey) of my club. Was slow, could not cross or pass well. |
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7th May 2008, 00:26
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#26 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#Whatever the feck - Regi Blinker
 Notable for having the stupidest name on the planet (bar Neville Neville, obviously). A powerhouse central midfielder he wasn't. A low rent Ruud Gullet impersonation for the old firm, he was. Pretty funny dreadlocks. Just another geebag off the Dutch machine of the 1990's. Did well to get paid by Celtic for 3 years untill they realised he was complete garbage. |
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7th May 2008, 00:39
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#33 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: ''He made me suffer agonies on the pitch'' Alessandro Nesta on The Phenomenon
Posts: 3,024
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Graham Fenton
 Back in April 1996 we needed Blackburn to take something off Newcastle, as it would of effectively end their title challenge. It didnt start good as Newcastle went 1-0 up, on came Fenton as late substitute and he did us proud by scoring both goals to inflict a 2-1 defeat and put us into the driving seat for the league title. I'll never forget this man 
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7th May 2008, 00:39
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#34 (permalink) | |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Chelsea fan.
Posts: 4,305
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Anyway, 246# John Jensen  Scored a screamer in the Euro 92 cup final, George Graham got given a brown envelope full of cash to sign him for Arsenal (which got him the sack a few years later) where he did not score another goal for about 100 games. Is now assistant coach at Getafe. Bit of a cult hero for Gooners I think (same as Perry Groves- who really was shit- Jensen was decent). |
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7th May 2008, 00:43
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#35 (permalink) | |
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poster of nonsense
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: In the circus thats America..
Posts: 5,421
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7th May 2008, 00:45
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#37 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#9 Peter Ndlovu
 Former Coventry City striker, currently playing for a team named Mamelodi Sundowns, which sound delighful, if a bit zingy. Involved in a fair amount of off field bother involving several local women who claimed he had fathered their children - he hold them all to feck off and eventually left for Birmingham City because of it. Scored the odd goal here and there aswell. |
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7th May 2008, 00:58
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#40 (permalink) |
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Brown is no God
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic
Posts: 9,168
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#78 - Marco Boogers
 Absolute git of a man, played for West Ham twice after being signed for a million odd, and in his second (and last) game for the 'am, came on against United and sythed down Gary Neville. Noticable for being the worst buy by a manager, ever, in the history of football. West Ham fans have t-shirts made up with "I saw Marco Boogers Play" emblazened on them, the spastics. I'm reliably informed he fled London after the United match and began living in a dutch caravan park, which no-one really must've saw coming. What a strange, strange man. Marco Boogers |
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