Absolutely Random footballers from the 1990's

Wes · 6th May 2008, 19:38

#1 Guy "Corporal Punishment" Whittingham

This bloke was pronounced a legend by many and more often as Villa Ace Guy Whittingham. Scored goals of majesty and genius, nearly signed for Man United, and eventually bankrupted both Newport and Newbury before fading into complete abscurity.

Guy Whittingham

Wes · 6th May 2008, 19:42

#2 Ian Walker, aka that Arsehole

Notable for looking a complete knobhead every time you saw the cunt, Beckham before Beckam really. Went on to marry a page 3 girl, and then fuck some random blonde for the laugh, disgracing himself and his well respected old man. In May 2006 Walker was rewarded for his patience in not playing a single league game for Bolton by being given a further two year contract. Presumably dead.

Ian Walker.

Wes · 6th May 2008, 19:50

#3 Ian Woan

A decent left winger thought by many to be the key to Englands troubles down the left side of midfield, but alas, never got the call up. Many say it's becasue he lacked passion. An absolute nobody of a man. Woan has recently been garnering plaudits in recent times within the music circle, having formed a promising Sludgecore outfit named Cretinous Cavern with former Forest teammate Steve Chettle.

Wes · 6th May 2008, 19:56

#4 Jason Lee aka Pineapple head

Got his chance in the first team at Notts Forrest when Stan Collymore (another lunatic who deserves a mention) fecked off to Liverpool. Looked a promising footballer, but once the Fantasy football programme with Badiel and Skinner got a hold of him, he was never the same. Had a rather impressive chant which went "He's got a pineapple, on his head, he's got a pineapple, on his head!" (to the tune of He's Got The Whole World In His Hands by Laurie London). Since moved to Notts County and shaved his head.

Jason Lee.

lynchie · 6th May 2008, 20:00

Remember them all from the Premier League Sticker book...

Chris Woods? Andy Pearse? Really anyone that ever played for Sheffield Wednesday turned into a nobody.

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:02

#5 Ruel Fox

best described as a fast, tricky wing wizard who was a handful for defenders and provided good crosses. Described by Kevin Keegan as the best winger in the league by miles in 1995/1996, feckin numpty that he was and is. He is currently coach of non-league Whitton United F.C., who play in the Ridgeons League. In 2002, Norwich supporters voted Fox an inaugural member of the Norwich City F.C. Hall of Fame, which says a fair bit about how shit Norwich City really are.

Ruel Fox

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:12

#6 Richie Humphreys

Scored two of the most amazing goals I've ever seen early on in the 1995-6 season, scored a goal that was recorded at 95.9mph, one of the hardest goals in the history of football. Humphreys also scored in the following match against Leeds United. Two games later, Humphreys scored a much talked about goal when he went on a 50 yard run and scored a spectacular chipped goal against Leicester City

Johan Cruijff, the guest of honour for a preseason game against Utrect praised Humphreys and said he was the next Marco van Basten. Was Englands next big hope, wearing the famed number 9 jersey at the 1997 under 20 FIFA world cup. Next seen playing for Hartlepool United.

Cal? · 6th May 2008, 20:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wes

#5 Ruel Fox

best described as a fast, tricky wing wizard who was a handful for defenders and provided good crosses. Described by Kevin Keegan as the best winger in the league by miles in 1995/1996, feckin numpty that he was and is. He is currently coach of non-league Whitton United F.C., who play in the Ridgeons League. In 2002, Norwich supporters voted Fox an inaugural member of the Norwich City F.C. Hall of Fame, which says a fair bit about how shit Norwich City really are.

Ruel Fox

Isn't his biggest claim to fame the fact that he was the only Premiership player to score a penalty at OT for about 10 years...

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:26

#7 Nicky Summerbee

Booed all the way out of Manchester city, and nearly every club he ever played for, thats our Nick (the prick). A particular high point being a well-publicised liaison with TV presenter, Melanie Sykes. Released by Tamworth at the end of the 05-06 season the reason being that he's Nicky Summerbee, an absolute wanker. Presumably playing parks football whilst having unresolved issues with his dada, a proper footballer.

Nicky Summerbee.

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cal?

Isn't his biggest claim to fame the fact that he was the only Premiership player to score a penalty at OT for about 10 years...

possibly. fuckin hell, we had the refs in our pockets in them days, right enough.

a_devil_inside · 6th May 2008, 20:44

Andy Hinchcliffe

Carlton Palmer

Kevin Pressman
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/13639...30FDCFC4C15FBB

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by a_devil_inside

Andy Hinchcliffe

Genius

ciderman9000000 · 6th May 2008, 20:48

#8 Tino Asprilla

Asprilla left Parma for Newcastle United for 6.7 million pounds in 1995 where he played for three seasons and was hot one minute and cold the next. There were problems off the field too. He famously scored a hat-trick for Newcastle against Barcelona in an unforgettable 1997 Champions League game at St James' Park, which ended in a 3-2 win for Newcastle. This would be the high point in his time playing for the Magpies, marking the tail end of The Entertainers era of the club but making him a cult hero on Tyneside.

Asprilla had to be officially working as a construction worker to gain a visa into Italy, where he rejoined Parma in 1998, scoring the goal that brought Milans "Invincible" run to an end. His career then wound down from that point, playing for various clubs in Argentina, Mexico, Chile and Colombia. He was known by his supporters in his home country as The Octopus for his uniquely flexible and fluid style. To everyone else he was 'Tino', or '2 goal Tino', as his goals usually came in twos.

golden_blunder · 6th May 2008, 20:49

Jason Wilcox

Wonder Pigeon · 6th May 2008, 20:51

Andy Sinton, noted for resembling a serial killer and being crap at football

currently the manager of Fleet Town.

golden_blunder · 6th May 2008, 20:51

David Hirst

Great goalscorer, once linked to United. Bought Cantona instead. Rest is history

irishmanc · 6th May 2008, 20:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cal?

Isn't his biggest claim to fame the fact that he was the only Premiership player to score a penalty at OT for about 10 years...

Surely his biggest claim to fame is that he missed the start of a 2nd half of a match when he was at spurs because he was takin a shit!!

a_devil_inside · 6th May 2008, 20:54

Dean Holdsworth

Chris Armstrong

el eric · 6th May 2008, 20:55

Vinny Samways

Got badly ridiculed on Fantasy Football for being a bit shit. Funny stuff

Wes · 6th May 2008, 20:58

Chris Armstrong

I was trying to remember him aswell.

el eric · 6th May 2008, 21:01

Chris Bart-Williams

getting his name on the back of your replica shirt would have cost a fortune back in the day

RedLars · 6th May 2008, 23:07

Erland Johnsen

Set the standard for below par redheaded Norwegians playing for mediocre Premier League clubs.

Brad · 6th May 2008, 23:10

Shaun Reid

The Dale faithful would chant 'who needs Cantona, when we've got Shauny Reid'

Sadly, Dale needed him

duffer · 6th May 2008, 23:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedLars

Erland Johnsen

Set the standard for below par redheaded Norwegians playing for mediocre Premier League clubs.

He was very good for us back then.Our player of the years once I think.

Here's a few more....
Gavin Peacock, Nigel Spackman, Craig Burley, Paul Furlong and David Hopkin (he was shite).

Also, how nice was our kit back then?

Gavin Peacock- good little player, scored in 1994 at Old Trafford and Stamford Brdge in two 1-0 wins for Chelsea. Hit the woodwork in the cup final before we got crushed.

Nigel Spackman- I always remember him as a really old, slow player (he played for some decent clubs though).

Craig Burley- no front teeth, scored a few good goals for us.

Paul Furlong- Our big money signing one year £2.5mil. Was cack but worked hard. Scored a strange goal after charging down a goalkeepers attemted clearance and the ball twatted him on the back of the head and went in.

David Hopkin- The worst player i've seen wear the blue (or orange and grey) of my club. Was slow, could not cross or pass well.

golden_blunder · 6th May 2008, 23:25

Paul Furlong and David Hopkin

how times have changed

Wes · 6th May 2008, 23:26

#Whatever the feck - Regi Blinker

Notable for having the stupidest name on the planet (bar Neville Neville, obviously). A powerhouse central midfielder he wasn't. A low rent Ruud Gullet impersonation for the old firm, he was. Pretty funny dreadlocks. Just another geebag off the Dutch machine of the 1990's. Did well to get paid by Celtic for 3 years untill they realised he was complete garbage.

Plechazunga · 6th May 2008, 23:26

Never noticed how much he looks like Robbo

golden_blunder · 6th May 2008, 23:27

Roy Wegerle?

Wes · 6th May 2008, 23:27

nice shorts.

Duffer, no more pictures of that jersey please, it disgusts me beyond belief.

golden_blunder · 6th May 2008, 23:30

Phil Babb
How was he ever a footballer? always remember him sliding knackers first into the goal post

Nem 7 · 6th May 2008, 23:31

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/12022...30FDCFC4C15FBB
Karl Heinz-Riedle - Who?

6th May 2008, 19:38	#1 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	Absolutely Random footballers from the 1990's #1 Guy "Corporal Punishment" Whittingham This bloke was pronounced a legend by many and more often as Villa Ace Guy Whittingham. Scored goals of majesty and genius, nearly signed for Man United, and eventually bankrupted both Newport and Newbury before fading into complete abscurity. Guy Whittingham

6th May 2008, 19:42	#2 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#2 Ian Walker, aka that Arsehole Notable for looking a complete knobhead every time you saw the cunt, Beckham before Beckam really. Went on to marry a page 3 girl, and then fuck some random blonde for the laugh, disgracing himself and his well respected old man. In May 2006 Walker was rewarded for his patience in not playing a single league game for Bolton by being given a further two year contract. Presumably dead. Ian Walker.

6th May 2008, 19:50	#3 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#3 Ian Woan A decent left winger thought by many to be the key to Englands troubles down the left side of midfield, but alas, never got the call up. Many say it's becasue he lacked passion. An absolute nobody of a man. Woan has recently been garnering plaudits in recent times within the music circle, having formed a promising Sludgecore outfit named Cretinous Cavern with former Forest teammate Steve Chettle.

6th May 2008, 19:56	#4 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#4 Jason Lee aka Pineapple head Got his chance in the first team at Notts Forrest when Stan Collymore (another lunatic who deserves a mention) fecked off to Liverpool. Looked a promising footballer, but once the Fantasy football programme with Badiel and Skinner got a hold of him, he was never the same. Had a rather impressive chant which went "He's got a pineapple, on his head, he's got a pineapple, on his head!" (to the tune of He's Got The Whole World In His Hands by Laurie London). Since moved to Notts County and shaved his head. Jason Lee.

6th May 2008, 20:00	#5 (permalink)
lynchie Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 3,533	Remember them all from the Premier League Sticker book... Chris Woods? Andy Pearse? Really anyone that ever played for Sheffield Wednesday turned into a nobody.

6th May 2008, 20:02	#6 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#5 Ruel Fox best described as a fast, tricky wing wizard who was a handful for defenders and provided good crosses. Described by Kevin Keegan as the best winger in the league by miles in 1995/1996, feckin numpty that he was and is. He is currently coach of non-league Whitton United F.C., who play in the Ridgeons League. In 2002, Norwich supporters voted Fox an inaugural member of the Norwich City F.C. Hall of Fame, which says a fair bit about how shit Norwich City really are. Ruel Fox

6th May 2008, 20:12	#7 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#6 Richie Humphreys Scored two of the most amazing goals I've ever seen early on in the 1995-6 season, scored a goal that was recorded at 95.9mph, one of the hardest goals in the history of football. Humphreys also scored in the following match against Leeds United. Two games later, Humphreys scored a much talked about goal when he went on a 50 yard run and scored a spectacular chipped goal against Leicester City Johan Cruijff, the guest of honour for a preseason game against Utrect praised Humphreys and said he was the next Marco van Basten. Was Englands next big hope, wearing the famed number 9 jersey at the 1997 under 20 FIFA world cup. Next seen playing for Hartlepool United.

6th May 2008, 20:26	#9 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#7 Nicky Summerbee Booed all the way out of Manchester city, and nearly every club he ever played for, thats our Nick (the prick). A particular high point being a well-publicised liaison with TV presenter, Melanie Sykes. Released by Tamworth at the end of the 05-06 season the reason being that he's Nicky Summerbee, an absolute wanker. Presumably playing parks football whilst having unresolved issues with his dada, a proper footballer. Nicky Summerbee.

6th May 2008, 20:44	#11 (permalink)
a_devil_inside Big footed hermaphrodite Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Little Britain Posts: 25,840	Andy Hinchcliffe Carlton Palmer Kevin Pressman http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/13639...30FDCFC4C15FBB

6th May 2008, 20:48	#13 (permalink)
ciderman9000000 Off his rocker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ثΩ▲ القناةالإخبارية على☻♫☻ الإنترنت منΩ&#8 Posts: 8,169	#8 Tino Asprilla Asprilla left Parma for Newcastle United for 6.7 million pounds in 1995 where he played for three seasons and was hot one minute and cold the next. There were problems off the field too. He famously scored a hat-trick for Newcastle against Barcelona in an unforgettable 1997 Champions League game at St James' Park, which ended in a 3-2 win for Newcastle. This would be the high point in his time playing for the Magpies, marking the tail end of The Entertainers era of the club but making him a cult hero on Tyneside. Asprilla had to be officially working as a construction worker to gain a visa into Italy, where he rejoined Parma in 1998, scoring the goal that brought Milans "Invincible" run to an end. His career then wound down from that point, playing for various clubs in Argentina, Mexico, Chile and Colombia. He was known by his supporters in his home country as The Octopus for his uniquely flexible and fluid style. To everyone else he was 'Tino', or '2 goal Tino', as his goals usually came in twos.

6th May 2008, 20:49	#14 (permalink)
golden_blunder Manager Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In the shadows fighting e-crime Posts: 45,700	Jason Wilcox

6th May 2008, 20:51	#15 (permalink)
Wonder Pigeon Pooping on people Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: LukeDunneComics Posts: 8,147	Andy Sinton, noted for resembling a serial killer and being crap at football currently the manager of Fleet Town.

6th May 2008, 20:51	#16 (permalink)
golden_blunder Manager Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In the shadows fighting e-crime Posts: 45,700	David Hirst Great goalscorer, once linked to United. Bought Cantona instead. Rest is history

6th May 2008, 20:54	#18 (permalink)
a_devil_inside Big footed hermaphrodite Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Little Britain Posts: 25,840	Dean Holdsworth Chris Armstrong

6th May 2008, 20:55	#19 (permalink)
el eric Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Sunny Dublin Posts: 3,182	Vinny Samways Got badly ridiculed on Fantasy Football for being a bit shit. Funny stuff

6th May 2008, 20:58	#20 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	Chris Armstrong I was trying to remember him aswell.

6th May 2008, 21:01	#21 (permalink)
el eric Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Sunny Dublin Posts: 3,182	Chris Bart-Williams getting his name on the back of your replica shirt would have cost a fortune back in the day

6th May 2008, 23:07	#22 (permalink)
RedLars Youth Team Player Join Date: May 2006 Location: Tromsø, Norway Posts: 279	Erland Johnsen Set the standard for below par redheaded Norwegians playing for mediocre Premier League clubs.

6th May 2008, 23:10	#23 (permalink)
Brad GTBTB Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Red Republik Posts: 20,967	Shaun Reid The Dale faithful would chant 'who needs Cantona, when we've got Shauny Reid' Sadly, Dale needed him

6th May 2008, 23:25	#25 (permalink)
golden_blunder Manager Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In the shadows fighting e-crime Posts: 45,700	Paul Furlong and David Hopkin how times have changed

6th May 2008, 23:26	#26 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	#Whatever the feck - Regi Blinker Notable for having the stupidest name on the planet (bar Neville Neville, obviously). A powerhouse central midfielder he wasn't. A low rent Ruud Gullet impersonation for the old firm, he was. Pretty funny dreadlocks. Just another geebag off the Dutch machine of the 1990's. Did well to get paid by Celtic for 3 years untill they realised he was complete garbage.

6th May 2008, 23:26	#27 (permalink)
Plechazunga Phones, soup, paint and chairs are troubling. Join Date: May 2003 Location: In the principality is chief executive of David evroshampiona Gil. Posts: 49,810	Never noticed how much he looks like Robbo

6th May 2008, 23:27	#28 (permalink)
golden_blunder Manager Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In the shadows fighting e-crime Posts: 45,700	Roy Wegerle?

6th May 2008, 23:27	#29 (permalink)
Wes Brown is no God Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dublin, in the Irish Republic Posts: 8,205	nice shorts. Duffer, no more pictures of that jersey please, it disgusts me beyond belief.

6th May 2008, 23:30	#30 (permalink)
golden_blunder Manager Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In the shadows fighting e-crime Posts: 45,700	Phil Babb How was he ever a footballer? always remember him sliding knackers first into the goal post

6th May 2008, 23:31	#31 (permalink)
Nem 7 Look, I'm a cunt, can type in colour so I must be important. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Outside Right Posts: 5,051	http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/12022...30FDCFC4C15FBB Karl Heinz-Riedle - Who?