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16th April 2010, 00:49
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#1 (permalink) |
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Youth Team Player
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Dublin
Posts: 233
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"The Big Sam" on Twitter
A friend sent me a link to "The Big Sam" on Twitter and said it was the funniest thing he'd read in a long time.
It's a spoof Sam Allardyce Twitter page and I've read some of it and I have to agree. It's hilarious. BigSam (TheBig_Sam) on Twitter Click the "More" button at the bottom of the page a few times to back a few weeks. Enjoy |
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16th April 2010, 01:51
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#5 (permalink) |
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Youth Team Player
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Dublin
Posts: 233
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8 Fry's Chocolate Cream's before I even got out of my pit, then a cheeky wank while watching Ricki Lake. Big Sam is ready for the day.
 The Big Sam]Had a bit of a scare there. Thought I'd found a grey patch on my pubes. It's okay though - it was only dried-in Yop. The Big Sam]Have glued a Jaffa Cake to my upper lip. Want to see how long I can resist the temptation to lick it. 47 seconds. Big Sam smirks in the face of temptation and scoffs at the idea of failure. Just brilliant |
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16th April 2010, 02:45
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#8 (permalink) |
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Trannie Lover
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 9,768
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In a right bad mood today. Someone took a shit in my empty milk bottles again. That's the fourth time in the last week it's happened.
Don't care what the wife says - no bird can crap that big. Trying to come up with a nickname for the wife's genitalia. My preferred suggestions so far are "cookie", "elderflower" and "cock-socket".
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16th April 2010, 02:46
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#9 (permalink) |
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First Team Sub
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: When they're on the pitch, we don't know which is which. Viva Da Silva!
Posts: 7,841
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Was tempted to piss on a tramp I saw outside the Spar earlier. His eyes revealed his weakness. That and his bin liner trousers.
when was noodle in the northwest?
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16th April 2010, 10:32
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#12 (permalink) |
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Youth Team Player
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Dublin
Posts: 233
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My mate Fusty Steve says I don't have the guts to shove a Cornetto up my arse. We'll see about that.
Have some of that, Steve. Whether it's mind games, technological prowess or inserting ice creams into my anus - Big Sam can't be beat. I used a Mint Chocolate Cornetto, by the way. Quite refreshing.
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16th April 2010, 12:13
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#16 (permalink) |
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Astrophysical Genius
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Don't Put My Swag on a Pedestal, I'll leave you like Owen Hargreaves at a Medical, passing me ain't credible
Posts: 21,983
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Just had a wank with an oven glove on. The sensation was electric, but I've got bits of Findus Crispy Pancake all over my cock now.
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16th April 2010, 14:38
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#21 (permalink) | |
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Poster of the year 2008
 Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: "like a man in silk pyjamas shooting pigeons from a deckchair"
Posts: 59,523
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Quote:
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16th April 2010, 14:54
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#23 (permalink) | |
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First Team Regular
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Djibouti (La terre des braves)
Posts: 25,549
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Quote:
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16th April 2010, 14:59
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#24 (permalink) |
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Poster of the year 2008
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: "like a man in silk pyjamas shooting pigeons from a deckchair"
Posts: 59,523
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This is genius.
Big Sam's Easter musings... Good Friday? Eight bowls of Ricicles, a pint of Strawberry Crusha and a relaxing wank in front of 'Loose Women'. Cracking Friday, more like. |
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16th April 2010, 15:08
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#27 (permalink) |
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Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Failing a Jib anywhere, anyhow
Posts: 2,056
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just hacked into Owen Coyles facebook.left 40 comments callin K Davies a "big fat cuntstick".All part of plan to lure him to B'Burn.Genius
1:47 AM Mar 29th via web Owen Coyles at my front door.He looks mad.I'm not answering it!Seems that tool Gamst crumbled when Coyle interrogated him!twat. 12:48 PM Mar 29th via web
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16th April 2010, 15:11
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#28 (permalink) | |
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First Team Regular
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Djibouti (La terre des braves)
Posts: 25,549
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Quote:
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16th April 2010, 15:17
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#29 (permalink) |
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First Team Regular
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Gaz. Is a Mewling Quim.
Posts: 19,521
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That man just brings out the child in Big Sam.
7:25 AM Apr 9th via web We broke into the Pottery Studio Of Westhoughton, pissed off our tits, and tried to re-enact that scene from 'Ghost'. 7:24 AM Apr 9th via web Sir Alex just sent me a text. "Remember last year??" it said. I'm going red just thinking about it.
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19th April 2010, 08:55
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#32 (permalink) |
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Youth Team Player
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Dublin
Posts: 233
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Finally agreed to the wife's wishes to inject a bit of role-playing into our love-making sessions. One of the best decisions I've ever made.
The missus dressed up like Davy Crockett while I was a rampaging Mexican soldier. Told her to pretend her fanny was 'The Alamo' and she had to defend it against my brutal advances. She failed. |
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27th November 2010, 22:12
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#33 (permalink) |
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Spit and Polish
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: 'Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact, right? And it never really works out that way. It’s probably the same cow and not as good as your own cow.'
Posts: 9,135
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Had Arctic Roll and pink custard for the lads but they can go and fuck. The useless bastards will sit and watch me eat every last one.
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27th November 2010, 22:14
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#34 (permalink) |
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Booooooooooo!!
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: None.
Posts: 7,185
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Why can't people embrace the shits? Sit down with a copy of Richard Marx's 'Repeat Offender' & a bowl of Walls Viennetta and just enjoy it.
Sir Alex has texted me already. Says he'll get Mike Phelan to molest me "inside out" if I dare take points of them. What a bloody kidder. The world may bring many hardships, but an impromptu Skype duet with Sir Alex always melts away the tears. I feel on top of the world.
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27th November 2010, 22:20
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#35 (permalink) |
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Spit and Polish
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: 'Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field. It's a fact, right? And it never really works out that way. It’s probably the same cow and not as good as your own cow.'
Posts: 9,135
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Interesting is that he was on Twitter during half-time
 But, they were 0-3 at that moment, he really had nothing to do.
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