Chelsea vs Messi (Chelsea vs Barca thread)

S.A.N.F · 17th April 2012, 16:39

Just now on SSN:

Quote:

Chelsea have confirmed that they have already lodged an appeal for the red card they are set to receive on Wednesday.

update: congratz chewsea, incredible.

amolbhatia100 · 17th April 2012, 16:42

Last time the two met was the worst refereeing performance I've ever seen.

Barca will win this one comfortably. Hopefully it will derail chelsea's attempts for cl football next season as well.

Pexbo · 17th April 2012, 16:43

kouroux · 17th April 2012, 16:45

Both legs were terrible in terms of refereeing.The return leg overshadowed the first match but I still remembered that the referee made big errors then too.Hopefully this time, only the football will do the talking

Duffy · 17th April 2012, 16:48

Why does this joke need a new thread? Ok anyways...Barca win without the help of the Ref.

Rado_N · 17th April 2012, 16:51

Chelsea 0-37 Barca

Neutral · 17th April 2012, 16:52

Quote:

The five-second rule: when to press and when to drop off

Barcelona are devastating in attack but their ability to win the ball back swiftly is vital to their success.

Albert Capellas, formerly of Barca's famed La Masia academy, told me of the "five-second rule", where the team press their opponents immediately on losing possession but then drop deep if they fail to regain it within five seconds.

Barca then wait for precise triggers to press again. If a pass bounces off a foot, or an attacker needs to look down at the ball - as soon as their opponents' options are limited, Barca pounce again.

There you go...now go and counter that, easy.

Pexbo · 17th April 2012, 16:52

Full Story:

Chelsea have confirmed they have launched an appeal to the red card they will receive in tonight Champions League Fixture. The red card will be the 540th of the season for Barcelona's opposition, an average of 12 red cards per game.

John Terry opted to comment in Di Matteo's place saying "Yeah it hurts a lot when one of your team mates get sent off unfairly, it hurts right in my lion heart but I'll soldier on and I'll battle through the next match."

Didier Drogba decribed it as a "fucking disgrace".

Micheal Essien thought it was a clear red. "By my calculations, he must have taken the player out first" replays showed no Barcelona player was present at the time of the foul.

S.A.N.F · 17th April 2012, 16:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pexbo

Full Story:

Chelsea have confirmed they have launched an appeal to the red card they will receive in tonight Champions League Fixture. The red card will be the 540th of the season for Barcelona's opposition, an average of 12 red cards per game.

John Terry opted to comment in Di Matteo's place saying "Yeah it hurts a lot when one of your team mates get sent off unfairly, it hurts right in my lion heart but I'll soldier on and I'll battle through the next match."

Didier Drogba decribed it as a "fucking disgrace".

Micheal Essien thought it was a clear red. "By my calculations, he must have taken the player out first" replays showed no Barcelona player was present at the time of the foul.

Every single sentence is funny.

Cal? · 17th April 2012, 16:56

Hopefully this time Barca get screwed over by the ref.

Varun_Utd · 17th April 2012, 17:07

Will be rooting for Chelsea but cant see them posing too much of a problem to this barca team. Barca have become better, chelsea gone backwards since the last time they met.

pillory · 17th April 2012, 17:07

rcoobc · 17th April 2012, 17:09

There are a lot that goes into that to be fair.

Jaap · 17th April 2012, 17:24

Messi won't score tonight.

Arruda · 17th April 2012, 17:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaap

Messi won't score tonight.

Can't see it happening either.

Rado_N · 17th April 2012, 17:27

Torres will score.

At HT playing on FIFA 12.

DanNistelrooy · 17th April 2012, 17:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaap

Messi won't score tonight.

Absolutely no chance of him scoring whatsoever tonight

KM · 17th April 2012, 17:29

Hope Barcelona demolishes Chelsea.

adexkola · 17th April 2012, 17:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arruda

Can't see it happening either.

What's the rolleyes for? Is it out of this world to suggest Messi won't score against Chelsea, not because he can't, but because, he won't?

Arruda · 17th April 2012, 17:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by adexkola

What's the rolleyes for? Is it out of this world to suggest Messi won't score against Chelsea, not because he can't, but because, he won't?

Nothing that deep, just because he isn't playing tonight.

Makki · 17th April 2012, 17:32

So if you subtract crosses, passes and shots from his total touches, that's how many times he has loses the ball to a tackle or running the ball out of play?

2906-2085-129-81 = 611

That means that Messi loses the ball 21% of the times he has it, and 79% of the time he has the ball he does something productive with it, ie shoots, passes or crosses it, right? That's ridiculous for a player with his playing style.

adexkola · 17th April 2012, 17:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arruda

Nothing that deep, just because he isn't playing tonight.

He isn't?

KM · 17th April 2012, 17:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by adexkola

He isn't?

Barcelona isn't playing tonight. It's Madrid vs Munich today.

adexkola · 17th April 2012, 17:36

I was a bit thick there, to be honest

Cold_Boy · 17th April 2012, 18:06

Hope Chelsea get battered.

Guy Incognito · 17th April 2012, 18:12

I think Big Man Terry will score and shout to the camera 'How you like me now?'

After Messi gets a ten goal headstart of course.

Jopub · 17th April 2012, 18:20

As they say 'Football is a funny game' and 18 times in 20 I'd expect this Barca side to beat Chelsea but it can go against the grain and I think this could be it

Chelsea have been relatively poor for a while but every now and again somebody like Drogba is capable of raising himself and being unplayable. I still think he has a few more games like that in him

Messi can have an off night. Lamps Drog Essien can roll back the years - unlikely but not impossible

If there's any balance Chelsea are certainly owed a refereeing decision or two and Barca are due a couple against them so..

Barca should win the tie comfortably but I think Chelsea will get close to them and might even get through

peterstorey · 17th April 2012, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jopub

If there's any balance Chelsea are certainly owed a refereeing decision or two..

After Wigan and Spurs I think Lady Luck has probably had enough of sucking Terry's todger.

rcoobc · 17th April 2012, 18:28

If there's any balance to Chelsea being owed "a refereeing decision or two," we are living in a universe where karma is more important than Newtonian physics or football skills. Also the karma is pretty shite as it strives to make up for past mistakes causing bigger fuck ups later on.

antihenry · 17th April 2012, 18:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by peterstorey

After Wigan and Spurs I think Lady Luck has probably had enough of sucking Terry's todger.

It's international Lady Luck, not to be confused with the domestic one.

Relevated · 17th April 2012, 18:31

As much as I hate to see it with Chelsea fans being pricks but I believe Chelsea will get a result vs Barca. I hope it doesnt happen though.

Neo_Mufc · 17th April 2012, 18:32

Seeing as Chelsea have hit some good form and are finally showing their worth I'd say they should score tomorrow but they haven't really had a test as big as this since AVB left.

Correct me if I'm wrong but Messi hasn't scored in an English ground? (Apart from Wembley)

Sky sports will no doubt use this to give Chelsea some encouragement but I think they'll get caught out .

I don't think there will be many goals. Guadiola and Barcelona will have one eye on Saturday so he could take a few star men off early.

peterstorey · 17th April 2012, 19:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by antihenry

It's international Lady Luck, not to be confused with the domestic one.

Ah! Dama Suerte, she's gonna fuck him up the arse with barbed-wire dildo. I'll probably hear the screams from the Bridge.

Shimo · 17th April 2012, 19:45

Whatever the odds, hope Chelsea find a way to get through. Mostly because I think it helps reduce some of the question marks of how good is the PL.

That and I hate Barca more.

Rossi19 · 17th April 2012, 20:48

I want Chelsea to get to the final and it go to penalties... lionheart JT steps up with his penalty to win it... he scuffs his penalty and fall on his arse, with Chelsea going on to lose.

That would be perfect

Inspectah deck · 17th April 2012, 20:56

Low scoring game I think, a draw or narrow Barca win. It will be a typical pep team away in the champions league KO stages post 2010-playing cagey for a narrow win. He'll probably start Keita to give some physicality and defensive strength, Puyol at left back with Masch and Pique in the middle.

stretford_oslo · 17th April 2012, 21:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pexbo

Full Story:

Chelsea have confirmed they have launched an appeal to the red card they will receive in tonight Champions League Fixture. The red card will be the 540th of the season for Barcelona's opposition, an average of 12 red cards per game.

John Terry opted to comment in Di Matteo's place saying "Yeah it hurts a lot when one of your team mates get sent off unfairly, it hurts right in my lion heart but I'll soldier on and I'll battle through the next match."

Didier Drogba decribed it as a "fucking disgrace".

Micheal Essien thought it was a clear red. "By my calculations, he must have taken the player out first" replays showed no Barcelona player was present at the time of the foul.

Sw33t · 17th April 2012, 22:17

I was hoping Wolfgang Stark would be the ref when I heard German, instead it was Felix Brych

Cheesy · 17th April 2012, 23:15

Terry and Luiz ready for their comedy sketch against Messi. I can't wait to see this.

Snow · 17th April 2012, 23:23

How long do you reckon it will take until the Drogba gif will be used?

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17th April 2012, 16:42	#2 (permalink)
amolbhatia100 Coach (But never a mod) Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: india Posts: 32,924	Last time the two met was the worst refereeing performance I've ever seen. Barca will win this one comfortably. Hopefully it will derail chelsea's attempts for cl football next season as well.

17th April 2012, 16:43	#3 (permalink)
Pexbo He'll have your eye out and listed on Amazon before you can say "ow!" Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: T'Internet Posts: 11,797

17th April 2012, 16:45	#4 (permalink)
kouroux No Lifer Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Djibouti (La terre des braves) Posts: 32,513	Both legs were terrible in terms of refereeing.The return leg overshadowed the first match but I still remembered that the referee made big errors then too.Hopefully this time, only the football will do the talking

17th April 2012, 16:48	#5 (permalink)
Duffy Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sulking by the cigerette machine, by the back bar. This time, you've gone too far... Posts: 2,817	Why does this joke need a new thread? Ok anyways...Barca win without the help of the Ref.

17th April 2012, 16:51	#6 (permalink)
Rado_N Came from nowhere, yet still a better modmin than Weaste ever was Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: mishy gishy gushy gushy mishy meshy mushy, motherfucker Posts: 45,360	Chelsea 0-37 Barca

17th April 2012, 16:52	#8 (permalink)
Pexbo He'll have your eye out and listed on Amazon before you can say "ow!" Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: T'Internet Posts: 11,797	Full Story: Chelsea have confirmed they have launched an appeal to the red card they will receive in tonight Champions League Fixture. The red card will be the 540th of the season for Barcelona's opposition, an average of 12 red cards per game. John Terry opted to comment in Di Matteo's place saying "Yeah it hurts a lot when one of your team mates get sent off unfairly, it hurts right in my lion heart but I'll soldier on and I'll battle through the next match." Didier Drogba decribed it as a "fucking disgrace". Micheal Essien thought it was a clear red. "By my calculations, he must have taken the player out first" replays showed no Barcelona player was present at the time of the foul.

17th April 2012, 16:56	#10 (permalink)
Cal? from Redcafe (matchfixing department) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: It's our perch now... Posts: 20,091	Hopefully this time Barca get screwed over by the ref.

17th April 2012, 17:07	#11 (permalink)
Varun_Utd First Team Sub Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: New Delhi Posts: 8,982	Will be rooting for Chelsea but cant see them posing too much of a problem to this barca team. Barca have become better, chelsea gone backwards since the last time they met.

17th April 2012, 17:07	#12 (permalink)
pillory First Team Sub Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Symptomless coma Posts: 8,088

17th April 2012, 17:09	#13 (permalink)
rcoobc Not as crap as eferyone thinks Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The treble gone Posts: 23,006	There are a lot that goes into that to be fair.

17th April 2012, 17:36	#24 (permalink)
adexkola American Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brooklyn, Connecticut. "Football Was Alright As Long as We Were Winning Everything And Everybody Knew Their Place" Posts: 13,099	I was a bit thick there, to be honest

17th April 2012, 17:24	#14 (permalink)
Jaap First Team Sub Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Dortmund, Germany Posts: 5,423	Messi won't score tonight.

17th April 2012, 17:27	#16 (permalink)
Rado_N Came from nowhere, yet still a better modmin than Weaste ever was Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: mishy gishy gushy gushy mishy meshy mushy, motherfucker Posts: 45,360	Torres will score. At HT playing on FIFA 12.

17th April 2012, 17:29	#18 (permalink)
KM Coach Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 24,071	Hope Barcelona demolishes Chelsea.

17th April 2012, 17:32	#21 (permalink)
Makki Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: freguson y u rest the ginger prawn hes most importntat playr n he cn done us much betr! Sell all them stinkiers like carick/cuberley/ and old man giggs shud go to retardment castle! Posts: 10,806	So if you subtract crosses, passes and shots from his total touches, that's how many times he has loses the ball to a tackle or running the ball out of play? 2906-2085-129-81 = 611 That means that Messi loses the ball 21% of the times he has it, and 79% of the time he has the ball he does something productive with it, ie shoots, passes or crosses it, right? That's ridiculous for a player with his playing style.

17th April 2012, 18:06	#25 (permalink)
Cold_Boy Banned Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: London Posts: 20,139	Hope Chelsea get battered.

17th April 2012, 18:12	#26 (permalink)
Guy Incognito First Team Sub Join Date: May 2011 Location: Somewhere Posts: 7,389	I think Big Man Terry will score and shout to the camera 'How you like me now?' After Messi gets a ten goal headstart of course.

17th April 2012, 18:20	#27 (permalink)
Jopub From Barca to Orient - back down to earth with a bang Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: "Thomas..It's up for grabs now - Thomas, right at the end" Posts: 4,543	As they say 'Football is a funny game' and 18 times in 20 I'd expect this Barca side to beat Chelsea but it can go against the grain and I think this could be it Chelsea have been relatively poor for a while but every now and again somebody like Drogba is capable of raising himself and being unplayable. I still think he has a few more games like that in him Messi can have an off night. Lamps Drog Essien can roll back the years - unlikely but not impossible If there's any balance Chelsea are certainly owed a refereeing decision or two and Barca are due a couple against them so.. Barca should win the tie comfortably but I think Chelsea will get close to them and might even get through

17th April 2012, 18:28	#29 (permalink)
rcoobc Not as crap as eferyone thinks Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The treble gone Posts: 23,006	If there's any balance to Chelsea being owed "a refereeing decision or two," we are living in a universe where karma is more important than Newtonian physics or football skills. Also the karma is pretty shite as it strives to make up for past mistakes causing bigger fuck ups later on.

17th April 2012, 18:31	#31 (permalink)
Relevated majestic retarded dinosaur, we love you Rel! - the redcafe modmins Join Date: May 2011 Location: The less of the world, the freer you live. Posts: 12,184	As much as I hate to see it with Chelsea fans being pricks but I believe Chelsea will get a result vs Barca. I hope it doesnt happen though.

17th April 2012, 18:32	#32 (permalink)
Neo_Mufc First Team Sub Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 6,676	Seeing as Chelsea have hit some good form and are finally showing their worth I'd say they should score tomorrow but they haven't really had a test as big as this since AVB left. Correct me if I'm wrong but Messi hasn't scored in an English ground? (Apart from Wembley) Sky sports will no doubt use this to give Chelsea some encouragement but I think they'll get caught out . I don't think there will be many goals. Guadiola and Barcelona will have one eye on Saturday so he could take a few star men off early.

17th April 2012, 19:45	#34 (permalink)
Shimo First Team Sub Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,408	Whatever the odds, hope Chelsea find a way to get through. Mostly because I think it helps reduce some of the question marks of how good is the PL. That and I hate Barca more.

17th April 2012, 20:48	#35 (permalink)
Rossi19 Tag Master Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Jockland Posts: 3,475	I want Chelsea to get to the final and it go to penalties... lionheart JT steps up with his penalty to win it... he scuffs his penalty and fall on his arse, with Chelsea going on to lose. That would be perfect

17th April 2012, 20:56	#36 (permalink)
Inspectah deck Reserve Team Player Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: ╭∩╮(◣_◢)╭∩╮ Posts: 1,508	Low scoring game I think, a draw or narrow Barca win. It will be a typical pep team away in the champions league KO stages post 2010-playing cagey for a narrow win. He'll probably start Keita to give some physicality and defensive strength, Puyol at left back with Masch and Pique in the middle.

17th April 2012, 22:17	#38 (permalink)
Sw33t First Team Regular Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Raging somewhere. Posts: 10,742	I was hoping Wolfgang Stark would be the ref when I heard German, instead it was Felix Brych

17th April 2012, 23:15	#39 (permalink)
Cheesy Smells Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Scotland Posts: 9,087	Terry and Luiz ready for their comedy sketch against Messi. I can't wait to see this.

17th April 2012, 23:23	#40 (permalink)
Snow First Team Regular Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: I like turtles Posts: 16,826	How long do you reckon it will take until the Drogba gif will be used?