Townhill Emperors under 8's lost a match 21-0

ciderman9000000 · 27th June 2008, 09:48

An article in The Times today reports that children's football teams have been banned from publishing results of their league matches because the FA believes it puts young people under too much pressure.

Kevin Warrington, who managed Townhill Emperors under 8's in the Eastleigh and District mini-league in Hampshire last season, had this to say on the matter:-

"It is a step backwards, the league is established and has become a good introduction to football for kids and people who know what they are getting into. If you look at our results last year we only won one game and lost one of our first games 21-0, but the boys were playing together as a team. They were making new friends and enjoying the environment in which they were doing that. They didn't care if they lost."

Now, Kev, though i'm sure the lads enjoyed their season, happy in the knowledge that, if they lost, only the readers of the local sports results section of the narrowly distributed Eastleigh Chronicle would ever find out about it, thus keeping their embarrassment down to a minimum - but, when you proudly report their 21-0 loss in a national paper such as The Times, ensuring that millions of readers country-wide are made fully aware of their piss-poor footballing skills, they might be a little more concerned. It's not just in the paper either, word on the street is that news of The Emperor's epic defeat has taken the internet by storm, appearing on countless footballing fansites such as the popular Manchester United forum redcafe.net.

Nice one, Kev, thanks for that. "Daddy why are those big men laughing at me?"

On a lighter note - 21-0!? What the fuck were they doing? Time to hang up your boots methinks, lads. I know they're yong an lernin and that, but 21-0 is a fucking disgrace! Who were they playing? Brazil? Did they have a wheelchair-bound goalie or something? Fuck sake! Apparently they didn't even care if they lost! No heart. What a fucking shambles.

FortBoyard · 27th June 2008, 10:20

21-0 Thats more like a rugby score.

I remember winning a game 13-5 once mental.

Oh yeah and; :FUCKINGPOLITICALCORECTNESS:

Name Changed · 27th June 2008, 12:58

I remember winning 19-0 years ago, when I was under 10 or something.

Smash-E · 27th June 2008, 14:39

over here, those kind of scorelines are not surprising in junior levels

Name Changed · 27th June 2008, 15:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smash-E

over here, those kind of scorelines are not surprising in junior levels

Especially when Rhain Davis was playing

Name Changed · 27th June 2008, 15:19

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wg9ox9F7Vw

Makki · 27th June 2008, 15:42

We won a game 24-0 once when we were 9. I stood in goal and didn't touch the ball once during the game.

Then another time we won 20-0. Touched it once that time.

Maroon Lucifer · 27th June 2008, 16:22

I won a game 29-1 when I was in the under 16's. I didn't score a single goal

Longlivekeano · 27th June 2008, 16:45

Once my team scored more than 10 goals in the first half, we scored so many more times in the second hlaf that we simply lost count. Could have been about 30-0.

On the other hand, I remember losing 10-0 to an extremely brilliant team after my team lost our regular goalkeeper. The outfield players (including myself) took turns at picking the ball out of the net. It was extremely humiliating such that my mates refuse to talk of that match for over 10 years now....

Murphman · 27th June 2008, 17:24

This is odd, round our way the under 8's play at a mini soccer venue every week. 4 x 10 minute games, 7 a side, no points no league tables and at the end of the year every kid gets a trophy.

5 -0 is a right mullering, to get 21-0 you'd have to take all your players off. I thought mini socer was how it's done across the country, obviously not. Cricket scores come with youngsters playing on full size pitches, a complete waste of time for all parties.

Lot 49 · 27th June 2008, 18:10

Once a team I played for were 2-1 down at half time and the manager subbed me off (I played right back) and the team captain (centre back) for his fat, useless sons who just stood around upfront waiting for the ball. He told us he wanted to "get back in the game" and that "loads of teams played 2-4-4 when I was a kid". With only 2 guys in defence we ended up losing 19-3 and I got "banned" from the team for laughing on the touchline.

Rowem · 27th June 2008, 20:46

I remember when I was about 8 or 9, we won a game 18-1 and then lost the next week 12-0.

IBleedRed · 27th June 2008, 20:57

When i was playing in a league that young my team was fucking brilliant and we would often beat teams so badly they would stop adding to our score after we went up by 7

ciderman9000000 · 28th June 2008, 17:36

When i was a kid i once played in a match in which the ref got bored halfway through the second half and went home. With no-one to blow the final whistle we just carried on playing, the hours turned into days which soon turned into weeks and then months. The game was eventually stopped by the police after two of the opposite side died of exposure, the final score was 1,856-4 to us. In many ways that match marked the end of my childhood - i was nine by full time though at kick-off i was eight - after witnessing one of your best friends biting a kid's shin off just to get at the leather in his boot for sustenence, it's hard to go back to Nickelodion and Pogs. Needless to say, we don't talk about the match much anymore, i found out a couple of years ago that our entire defence killed themselves in a suicide pact in the center circle of the old pitch, it's not in use anymore but is often visited by solemn looking guys in their mid-twenties wearing dark clothes and a thousand yard stare. Football! Bloody hell!

Nem 7 · 28th June 2008, 18:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

When i was a kid i once played in a match in which the ref got bored halfway through the second half and went home. With no-one to blow the final whistle we just carried on playing, the hours turned into days which soon turned into weeks and then months. The game was eventually stopped by the police after two of the opposite side died of exposure, the final score was 1,856-4 to us. In many ways that match marked the end of my childhood - i was nine by full time though at kick-off i was eight - after witnessing one of your best friends biting a kid's shin off just to get at the leather in his boot for sustenence, it's hard to go back to Nickelodion and Pogs. Needless to say, we don't talk about the match much anymore, i found out a couple of years ago that our entire defence killed themselves in a suicide pact in the center circle of the old pitch, it's not in use anymore but is often visited by solemn looking guys in their mid-twenties wearing dark clothes and a thousand yard stare. Football! Bloody hell!

ciderman9000000 · 30th June 2008, 07:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nem 7

Yeah, i guess we can smile about it now. The therapy helped alot, i'm as sane as a monk.

MadDogg · 30th June 2008, 08:35

We won 21-0 once at U7's level. I was a centre back but still scored a hattrick. One kid scored 10.

ciderman9000000 · 30th June 2008, 09:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadDogg

We won 21-0 once at U7's level. I was a centre back but still scored a hattrick. One kid scored 10.

How the fuck do you remember? I can't remember hardly fuck all about being six, let alone the score of some football match, what position i played in, how many i got, and how many some other kid scored.

nooshka · 30th June 2008, 15:20

We won 27-0 in a game last season are striker scored 11, albeit the team only turned up with 8 players. I went out the night before so was on the bench and then played in goal which i'd never done not even junior football oh and the keeper who played the second half ou of goal scored a hattrick.

If you don't believe me heres a link.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/mid/sites...lts_2008.shtml
It was on march 22nd

Nem 7 · 30th June 2008, 16:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

How the fuck do you remember? I can't remember hardly fuck all about being six, let alone the score of some football match, what position i played in, how many i got, and how many some other kid scored.

Murphman · 30th June 2008, 22:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

How the fuck do you remember? I can't remember hardly fuck all about being six, let alone the score of some football match, what position i played in, how many i got, and how many some other kid scored.

He's 13, not an old cunt like you.

girish · 30th June 2008, 23:06

My team once won 11 - 0 against our seniors.

What made it much more sweet was when we played them in our first year at college, we lost a match 1 - 6 to them. They made it a big issue that we scored one against them. They said - "Newcomers (it was my first year at college) aren't supposed to score against seniors" They manhandled our goal scorer, and the one who gave him the assist, and everyone who hugged them. They made us clean their room and wash their floor, they slapped, kicked and beat us up, made us sit on air chair, and even made our goal scorer taking push-ups while one senior held a knife underneath him - for scoring one goal against them.

After all that, what we decided to do was to form a rigid team. We downloaded a lot of football videos, recorded football matches (mainly United's), and used all that to build a team that works like a well oiled machine.

And we took them on next year, and it was a delightful scoreline for us in the end. Even our girls went mad (girls don't watch football in here). The only reason we didn't win that match for a 25-0 was because of the referee. He was a senior too.

We surprised them, with our passing. It was like a show of everything. backheels, flicks,passing in triangles with gih speed, layoffs (like the one Tevez gave to Scholes for our first goal this season). Those cunts got to touch the ball very few times. And they did fuck all with their possession.

It was probably the best moments of my college life. Our captain and a winger were both my roommates. Later that night all the team gathered in our room, and we were partying all night.

The same night some of our girls were caught by their warden for watching porn.

Wibble · 1st July 2008, 00:41

My U10s won 12 nil earlier in the season and if we actually had a striker we would have easily doubled that.

kietotheworld · 1st July 2008, 00:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by girish

My team once won 11 - 0 against our seniors.

What made it much more sweet was when we played them in our first year at college, we lost a match 1 - 6 to them. They made it a big issue that we scored one against them. They said - "Newcomers (it was my first year at college) aren't supposed to score against seniors" They manhandled our goal scorer, and the one who gave him the assist, and everyone who hugged them. They made us clean their room and wash their floor, they slapped, kicked and beat us up, made us sit on air chair, and even made our goal scorer taking push-ups while one senior held a knife underneath him - for scoring one goal against them.

After all that, what we decided to do was to form a rigid team. We downloaded a lot of football videos, recorded football matches (mainly United's), and used all that to build a team that works like a well oiled machine.

And we took them on next year, and it was a delightful scoreline for us in the end. Even our girls went mad (girls don't watch football in here). The only reason we didn't win that match for a 25-0 was because of the referee. He was a senior too.

We surprised them, with our passing. It was like a show of everything. backheels, flicks,passing in triangles with gih speed, layoffs (like the one Tevez gave to Scholes for our first goal this season). Those cunts got to touch the ball very few times. And they did fuck all with their possession.

It was probably the best moments of my college life. Our captain and a winger were both my roommates. Later that night all the team gathered in our room, and we were partying all night.

The same night some of our girls were caught by their warden for watching porn.

Maroon Lucifer · 1st July 2008, 01:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowem

I remember when I was about 8 or 9, we won a game 18-1 and then lost the next week 12-0.

My very first match ever, we won 18-1. 20 odd years ago now

FortBoyard · 1st July 2008, 12:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by girish

What made it much more sweet was when we played them in our first year at college, we lost a match 1 - 6 to them. They made it a big issue that we scored one against them. They said - "Newcomers (it was my first year at college) aren't supposed to score against seniors" They manhandled our goal scorer, and the one who gave him the assist, and everyone who hugged them. They made us clean their room and wash their floor, they slapped, kicked and beat us up, made us sit on air chair, and even made our goal scorer taking push-ups while one senior held a knife underneath him - for scoring one goal against them.

Best paragraph ever.

vanthaman · 1st July 2008, 21:31

i think at under 14s level we lost about 19 v 0 about 5 times, we only had 11 players and our keeper had a broken arm so some of our players took turns in goal

Im1985 · 1st July 2008, 22:49

God, they're really going town hill.

VII · 2nd July 2008, 00:22

There must be a new Scholes in that team.

MadDogg · 2nd July 2008, 06:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

How the fuck do you remember? I can't remember hardly fuck all about being six, let alone the score of some football match, what position i played in, how many i got, and how many some other kid scored.

lol, the only reason I remember was because of the big scoreline, and the fact I scored a hattrick (one of only two I ever scored - the other being for my school in grade 7 when I scored six). I always played centreback at that time, and I remember the other kid scoring 10 because he was my best mate at the time, and was also born on the same day in the same hospital as myself (he was about 5 hours older than me if I remember correctly).

Actually, just thinking about hattricks, I'm sure I must've scored another one at U15's. There was one crap team that everyone beat 15-0 or so every week, and I remember moving up to striker for the last bit of the game so I could see more of the ball. I've always remembered one of the goals I scored against them, straight after they kicked off and passed it out of the centre circle, I won the ball and ran the full half holding off two players before burying the ball in the corner of the net. And I'm sure I scored a few others in that match also.

27th June 2008, 09:48	#1 (permalink)
ciderman9000000 Off his rocker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: H.D.Y.K.I.S.T.I.H.W. Posts: 7,409	Townhill Emperors under 8's lost a match 21-0 An article in The Times today reports that children's football teams have been banned from publishing results of their league matches because the FA believes it puts young people under too much pressure. Kevin Warrington, who managed Townhill Emperors under 8's in the Eastleigh and District mini-league in Hampshire last season, had this to say on the matter:- "It is a step backwards, the league is established and has become a good introduction to football for kids and people who know what they are getting into. If you look at our results last year we only won one game and lost one of our first games 21-0, but the boys were playing together as a team. They were making new friends and enjoying the environment in which they were doing that. They didn't care if they lost." Now, Kev, though i'm sure the lads enjoyed their season, happy in the knowledge that, if they lost, only the readers of the local sports results section of the narrowly distributed Eastleigh Chronicle would ever find out about it, thus keeping their embarrassment down to a minimum - but, when you proudly report their 21-0 loss in a national paper such as The Times, ensuring that millions of readers country-wide are made fully aware of their piss-poor footballing skills, they might be a little more concerned. It's not just in the paper either, word on the street is that news of The Emperor's epic defeat has taken the internet by storm, appearing on countless footballing fansites such as the popular Manchester United forum redcafe.net. Nice one, Kev, thanks for that. "Daddy why are those big men laughing at me?" On a lighter note - 21-0!? What the fuck were they doing? Time to hang up your boots methinks, lads. I know they're yong an lernin and that, but 21-0 is a fucking disgrace! Who were they playing? Brazil? Did they have a wheelchair-bound goalie or something? Fuck sake! Apparently they didn't even care if they lost! No heart. What a fucking shambles.

27th June 2008, 10:20	#2 (permalink)
FortBoyard AdN11 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: The Champions of England & Europe Posts: 1,586	21-0 Thats more like a rugby score. I remember winning a game 13-5 once mental. Oh yeah and; :FUCKINGPOLITICALCORECTNESS:

27th June 2008, 12:58	#3 (permalink)
Name Changed weso26 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Dublin Posts: 4,455	I remember winning 19-0 years ago, when I was under 10 or something.

27th June 2008, 14:39	#4 (permalink)
Smash-E Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Adelaide Posts: 1,954	over here, those kind of scorelines are not surprising in junior levels

27th June 2008, 15:19	#6 (permalink)
Name Changed weso26 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Dublin Posts: 4,455	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wg9ox9F7Vw

27th June 2008, 15:42	#7 (permalink)
Makki Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sweden Posts: 908	We won a game 24-0 once when we were 9. I stood in goal and didn't touch the ball once during the game. Then another time we won 20-0. Touched it once that time.

27th June 2008, 16:22	#8 (permalink)
Maroon Lucifer Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." Posts: 2,132	I won a game 29-1 when I was in the under 16's. I didn't score a single goal

27th June 2008, 16:45	#9 (permalink)
Longlivekeano Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Singapore Posts: 1,411	Once my team scored more than 10 goals in the first half, we scored so many more times in the second hlaf that we simply lost count. Could have been about 30-0. On the other hand, I remember losing 10-0 to an extremely brilliant team after my team lost our regular goalkeeper. The outfield players (including myself) took turns at picking the ball out of the net. It was extremely humiliating such that my mates refuse to talk of that match for over 10 years now....

27th June 2008, 17:24	#10 (permalink)
Murphman Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Mine eyes have seen the glory. Five times in fact. Posts: 4,857	This is odd, round our way the under 8's play at a mini soccer venue every week. 4 x 10 minute games, 7 a side, no points no league tables and at the end of the year every kid gets a trophy. 5 -0 is a right mullering, to get 21-0 you'd have to take all your players off. I thought mini socer was how it's done across the country, obviously not. Cricket scores come with youngsters playing on full size pitches, a complete waste of time for all parties.

27th June 2008, 18:10	#11 (permalink)
Lot 49 Doom Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 989	Once a team I played for were 2-1 down at half time and the manager subbed me off (I played right back) and the team captain (centre back) for his fat, useless sons who just stood around upfront waiting for the ball. He told us he wanted to "get back in the game" and that "loads of teams played 2-4-4 when I was a kid". With only 2 guys in defence we ended up losing 19-3 and I got "banned" from the team for laughing on the touchline.

27th June 2008, 20:46	#12 (permalink)
Rowem Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,377	I remember when I was about 8 or 9, we won a game 18-1 and then lost the next week 12-0.

27th June 2008, 20:57	#13 (permalink)
IBleedRed likes to use pantyhose Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: apparently uses the term "limey" too much Posts: 4,227	When i was playing in a league that young my team was fucking brilliant and we would often beat teams so badly they would stop adding to our score after we went up by 7

28th June 2008, 17:36	#14 (permalink)
ciderman9000000 Off his rocker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: H.D.Y.K.I.S.T.I.H.W. Posts: 7,409	When i was a kid i once played in a match in which the ref got bored halfway through the second half and went home. With no-one to blow the final whistle we just carried on playing, the hours turned into days which soon turned into weeks and then months. The game was eventually stopped by the police after two of the opposite side died of exposure, the final score was 1,856-4 to us. In many ways that match marked the end of my childhood - i was nine by full time though at kick-off i was eight - after witnessing one of your best friends biting a kid's shin off just to get at the leather in his boot for sustenence, it's hard to go back to Nickelodion and Pogs. Needless to say, we don't talk about the match much anymore, i found out a couple of years ago that our entire defence killed themselves in a suicide pact in the center circle of the old pitch, it's not in use anymore but is often visited by solemn looking guys in their mid-twenties wearing dark clothes and a thousand yard stare. Football! Bloody hell!

30th June 2008, 08:35	#17 (permalink)
MadDogg Reserve Team Player Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: “Manchester United never lose, they just run out of time” Posts: 3,147	We won 21-0 once at U7's level. I was a centre back but still scored a hattrick. One kid scored 10.

30th June 2008, 15:20	#19 (permalink)
nooshka Reserve Team Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Hay Posts: 563	We won 27-0 in a game last season are striker scored 11, albeit the team only turned up with 8 players. I went out the night before so was on the bench and then played in goal which i'd never done not even junior football oh and the keeper who played the second half ou of goal scored a hattrick. If you don't believe me heres a link. http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/mid/sites...lts_2008.shtml It was on march 22nd

30th June 2008, 23:06	#22 (permalink)
girish I too love women...for their shoes. Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Kerala,India Posts: 4,181	My team once won 11 - 0 against our seniors. What made it much more sweet was when we played them in our first year at college, we lost a match 1 - 6 to them. They made it a big issue that we scored one against them. They said - "Newcomers (it was my first year at college) aren't supposed to score against seniors" They manhandled our goal scorer, and the one who gave him the assist, and everyone who hugged them. They made us clean their room and wash their floor, they slapped, kicked and beat us up, made us sit on air chair, and even made our goal scorer taking push-ups while one senior held a knife underneath him - for scoring one goal against them. After all that, what we decided to do was to form a rigid team. We downloaded a lot of football videos, recorded football matches (mainly United's), and used all that to build a team that works like a well oiled machine. And we took them on next year, and it was a delightful scoreline for us in the end. Even our girls went mad (girls don't watch football in here). The only reason we didn't win that match for a 25-0 was because of the referee. He was a senior too. We surprised them, with our passing. It was like a show of everything. backheels, flicks,passing in triangles with gih speed, layoffs (like the one Tevez gave to Scholes for our first goal this season). Those cunts got to touch the ball very few times. And they did fuck all with their possession. It was probably the best moments of my college life. Our captain and a winger were both my roommates. Later that night all the team gathered in our room, and we were partying all night. The same night some of our girls were caught by their warden for watching porn.

1st July 2008, 00:41	#23 (permalink)
Wibble Teeth like a reindeer. Hung like a horse. Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Ingadus Speramus Posts: 34,680	My U10s won 12 nil earlier in the season and if we actually had a striker we would have easily doubled that.

1st July 2008, 21:31	#27 (permalink)
vanthaman Winner of the RedCafe Mickey Mouse Cup 2006 Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: in front of laptop Posts: 12,114	i think at under 14s level we lost about 19 v 0 about 5 times, we only had 11 players and our keeper had a broken arm so some of our players took turns in goal

1st July 2008, 22:49	#28 (permalink)
Im1985 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: "Twice in the opening eleven minutes, Filippo Inzaghi has struck for Juventus. The first was a poacher's goal, the second needed some luck... Manchester United need a minor miracle now. They are two down in no time, here." Posts: 1,111	God, they're really going town hill.

2nd July 2008, 00:22	#29 (permalink)
VII Reserve Team Player Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Sir Alex Ferguson, Greatest Manager Ever, Bar None. Posts: 1,357	There must be a new Scholes in that team.