The Turbo Midget

CassiusClaymore

Pele, Maradona, Hagi, Zola, Carlos, Davids, Romario, Cannavaro, Makele, Sneijder, Lennon. What do all these players have in common? Yes. They are all smaller than me. But whilst they might have trouble meeting the minimum requirements for a ride on the Nemesis they make up for this by being sublimely skilled at the game of association football.



If we've learnt anything from football over the years it's that players with a low centre of gravity don’t need a step up on their taller contemporaries. What they lack in physical height they more than make up for in balance, ball control and often a blistering turn of foot speed.



Take a look at the current Barcelona triumvirate of Messi, Xavi and Iniesta. All are 5ft 7” or below. Ronaldo aside, all 3 are recognised as the best players in the world at the moment.

The turbo midget is the archetypal modern footballer. A fact recognised by Barca adding further midgets Villa and Sanchez to their ranks in recent seasons. David Silva has been raking in the plaudits at City in the last 2 seasons and their recent addition of Sergio Aguero has put them in a very good position to challenge for the lead title. Meanwhile across the city United have been relying on talismanic turbo midget Wayne Rooney to lead the team whilst also coaxing the 5ft 7” Paul Scholes back out of retirement for one last hurrah.



So, apart from a low centre of gravity, what is it about the player under 5ft 10” that seems to give him a step up on his fellow pro’s? How does that explain the quick brain of a Scholes, Hagi or Zola? Is it the 2 things meeting together (small frame plus football brain) that separates the Lennons from the Maradonas of this world? How good would Ronaldo be if he was 5 inches shorter? Where will it all end?



Discuss….

SharkyMcShark

Was going to post a picture of Scholes but then scrolled down the page and realised you had him in there.

quethenoo

There is clearly something to the low center of gravity thing but I think the rest is just coincidence. Im sure you could name many non midgets who were equally as gifted, barring possibly the maradonna, messi, pele triumvirate. Platini, Beckenbaur, Cruyff, Bergkamp, Matthaus, Socrates, Van Basten, Gullit, both Ronaldos, Ronaldhino etc etc....

davisjw

I don't recall Hagi being very fast. How tall was Valderamma?

Their ability to turn so tightly in small spaces is why most of those players you mentioned were central midfielders. Being able to play in central midfield is about keeping the ball and moving it along. If you're out muscled and physically weaker, you learn to use your body to shield and learn creative passing.

I think there's two types of "midgets": The speedy Maradonna/Messi's who rely more on dribbling and a lower sense of gravity, and the slower Scholes-mold who rely on their ability to pass and read the game.

cinc

Albert.

RedThaiDevils#7

Juninho ?

steeeb

I think being small, they have to learn other ways of getting and keeping the ball.

Being tall and strong gives you an advantage on the pitch. This is the reason why coaches here have typically looked for them type of players at a young age - as they stand out.

CassiusClaymore

5ft 9". Same as Matthaus. Perhaps in that curious middleground between midget and man mountain.

I remember reading in Roy Keanes autobiog that he was labelled too small to be a footballer when he was in his teens. He turned out to be 5ft 10".

I think turbo midgets are the future. Players with a low centre of gravity and an acute turn of pace will dominate this era of football.

steeeb

We haven't mentioned Hernandez yet..

If there ever was a turbo midget..

Ray Peterson

Shaun Wright-Phillips and Wayne Routledge

CassiusClaymore

Could our very own youth team styled turbo midget of the future be about to leave us at the end of the season?

Could come back to bite us in the arse that one. Assuming he keeps on the straight and narrow. Clearly a talent and a future TMHOF (Turbo Midget Hall Of Famer).

Simon Adebesi

Small people are statistically more likely to be aggressive. Maybe that makes them more inclined to attack space?

B19

his name was Michael Owen.

Fastest player I ever saw when he first came on the scene.

CassiusClaymore

Good one. I'd forgot about him.

Dalglish too, arguably your clubs best ever player was certainly another in the TM mould.

Xander45

Peter Beardsley wasn't too tall was he?

RyanGoggs

I suppose the thing is that players with a low centre of gravity have to learn skills when younger to prevent them being disadvantaged when facing more physical players. Someone like say Peter Crouch probably spent the majority of his childhood with the ball being knocked long up to him. The likes of Messi had to find other ways to be able to compete effectively with better physical players.

The fact that the players mentioned in the OP are ridiculously naturally talented also helps of course

CassiusClaymore

Hmmmm and ironically Peter Crouch is probably a worse header of the ball than anyone in the original list.

kouroux

Only the central defenders and keepers need to be reasonably tall.

kouroux

Riera ?

Maajid

Woodzy

I think from now all posts should be accompanied by images. When I now, I mean not now, because I can't be assed, but later on.

davisjw

So we should have a list of awesome midgets and one of shite giants..?

CassiusClaymore

That seems a bit unecessary. Merely making the case for the turbo midge.

I guess that's one of the reasons people enjoy football so much. Unlike rugby for instance you don't have to be a genetic freak to compete. It's still primarily a game of skill where the little man can make a big difference.

FranklyVulgar

Lennon as in Aaron Lemon? looked abit out of place. Although if we're talking about midets with no necks and a lot of pace he certainly deserves his mention.

Fergies Formula

I'm new to this 'turbo midget' saying, seems like its been around for a whole though.

Cutch

Cannavaro's done well for himself. When do you ever see a centre half at 5ft 9in, never mind one that was the best defender in the world (and world player of the year) at that time. Never did you see any teams try and target his lack of height because his spring, experience and know-how was so good. Class player.

RedThaiDevils#7

Best ?

CassiusClaymore

That was a joke one. He lacks the one thing that seperates the greats from the not so greats. A footballing brain.

Quick football brain + Quick feet + Low centre of gravity = the perfect footballer.

Drainy

I'm a really short guy.. to be honest, being described as a midget is pretty enraging.

Simon Adebesi

Enraging enough to want to attack me?

Drainy

Nah, I'll just silently resent it for the rest of my life

Simon Adebesi

Thats what I would do and Im six foot.

There is more that unites us than separates us.

RedLars

ehe

LLMU

what about midget keeper ? Barthez and Jorge Campos

Gio

At the start of the last decade it looked like we were entering a new era of tall, physically imposing midfielders. Most if not all of the emerging stars were over six feet - Michael Ballack, Steven Gerrard, Ruben Baraja, Patrick Vieira, Frank Lampard. By the end of the decade that trend had reversed, largely because of Spain's development.

Indeed - there's a handful of centre-halves whose spring and timing meant they were more than competitive in the air - Daniel Passarella (5ft 8'), Ivan Cordoba (5ft 8'), Roberto Ayala (5ft 9').