|
12th December 2007, 23:17
|
#529 (permalink) | |
 Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: "You sir, are the syphilitic cockbiscuit son of a hamster rimmer."; "Sir Alex Ferguson, trainer of the English champions, wants to start the spoon fruits since early."
Posts: 58,879
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
12th December 2007, 23:23
|
#533 (permalink) |
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: "You sir, are the syphilitic cockbiscuit son of a hamster rimmer."; "Sir Alex Ferguson, trainer of the English champions, wants to start the spoon fruits since early."
Posts: 58,879
|
I may merge the entire Transfer Forum into this thread and see if we get there.
If the server crashes blame me. |
|
|
|
|
13th December 2007, 00:28
|
#547 (permalink) |
|
Reserve Team Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,361
|
How about some random Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics?
"Yes please, Steev" Ok then: "I went to see the Bootleg Beatles, as the bootleg Mark Chapman" "Lazy greedy farmers, pick your own strawberries" "Tedious people, tiresome town / Under the gaze of the Mayoral frown / Always calm with a gentle breeze / "Tarkus in black vinyl, please" "Inspired by no-one, other groups bore us / How can you say we sound like Frazier Chorus?" "And all the people that you romantically like to believe are still alive are dead/ So I'll wipe my snot on the tail of your shirt as you hang another Roger Dean poster on the wall." "Henry Rollins, Henry Rollins- you're hard, you're hard" "Mariella Frostrup does loads of voiceovers and nothing much else yet she seems to get by" "A roomful of drama teachers listening to Bjork" "even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch... it generates a warmth around the ground that augurs well for mankind, and that's what life’s about" "when I had my loft / converted back into a loft / the neighbours came around and scoffed / and called me retro" "if I had agoraphobia / and I had claustrophobia... trapped / inside my porch..." "Then they came for the Dani Behr I said 'She's over there behind the wardrobe'" "Who the fucking hell are Slipknot, in relation to me getting out of bed?" "If I were a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides." "They declared their love in a hot air balloon and got married on a Caribbean beach" "Every time you're by the lake you're bound to hear 'Careful now, that swan could break your arm' " "Opinionated weather forecasters telling me it's going to be a miserable day; miserable for who!? I quite like a bit of drizzle, so stick to the facts!" “STING, DANCING ON THE ROOF OF THE BARBICAN! / STING, DANCING ON THE ROOF OF THE BARBICAN!" "I've been in a mental hospital, I've been in a mental hospital" “now he’s working, in a job with a future / hands me my giro, every 2 weeks” "there is nothing better in life than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro on a Saturday night instead of going to the pub" “In the Town / Where I was born / Lived a man / Who went to work...” “They didn’t choose their cat, the cat chose them / And waddya know, it’s got its own website” “Yes some of my pull-overs are roll-necked / It kind of breaks up the ennui” “I'm on another planet, she's on the Isle of Thanet” "Mention the Lord of the Rings just once more and I'll more than likely kill you" “And I feel cursed and sore, like / And Thurston Moore-like” “reservoirs are colder and deeper than you think, well stop, wait a minute Mr spokesman you don't know what I think” "Slowly I picked my life up / Nowadays I pick the wife up / She works at Marks and Spencers / La la la Lech Walensa's" "Well I heard a lovely rumour / That Bette Midler had a tumour / So gleefully I went to tell my friends / But they said it was a lie / That she wasn't going to die / And by the way, have we got news for you!" "They made some really good friends on Henman Hill / And now they all meet up for Boxercise" "Same old Hampstead / Ken Hom Wok Set" "If it's her desire, I'll put my fingers in the fire / 'Cos I've got Joy Division oven gloves" “They've got a german shepard dog called Prince / They've got a german shepard dog called Prince / They've got a german shepard dog called Prince / The one called Sheeba died” “If you're going going to quote from the Book of Revelation/ Don't go calling it the "Book of Revelations"/ There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation / As revealed to St John the Divine” “Is your child hyperactive or is he just at twat?” “I don't know what to do/ I've only got three bullets and there's four of Motley Crue” “Sometimes instead of Arthur Lee/ I'd much prefer some Arthur Lowe” "Act One, Scene One: Brenda Blethyn gets shot" 'you're optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead' 'with my rugby shirt signed by justin hayward, i will rule the world....playing risk' 'there's people who cant spell weird right driving round with thousands in the bank' "I can put a tennis racket up against my face and pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki" "In the kingdom of the blind they say the one eyed man is king / In the kingdom of the bland it's 9 pm on ITV" "A woman who described herself as 'a little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally, a little bit Sex In The City' and chose to call her baby boy Fred, as a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian, or Rupert. Bit of advice: call him Rupert. It fits, and besides it's a good name. Don't be calling him Fred, or Archie, with all its cheeky but lovable working-class scamp connotations, unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life at William Hill, waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot" “Well today I knocked upon their door / And said that I was passing / And charlie launched a scathing attack / When I asked him what I'd done, he said / "You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!" “I could have put my head in a bucket full of porridge and moaned about the hospital parking scheme / I would have saved £14 that I just splashed out on your second album / Cause thats what its akin to, and further more... |
|
|
|
|
13th December 2007, 02:02
|
#552 ( |
