FAO: Dr Dwayne - medical advice time

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 13:45

Dr,

I have severe bruising to my upper right arm/shoulder. I'm supposed to be playing footy this weekend, but I don't want to aggrevate anything, so I need your clearance.

I don't think anything's broken, and there's not a constant pain there, but it doesn't like me lifting my arm much, and definitely doesn't like me stretching.

Is it safe for me to play without doing any damage?

Dr. Dwayne · 15th August 2008, 13:45

can you lift your arms above your head?

how did you get this bruise (dare I ask)?

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 13:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

can you lift your arms above your head?

I may just about be able to, but I don't really want to try

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

how did you get this bruise (dare I ask)?

Nutters

Dr. Dwayne · 15th August 2008, 14:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I may just about be able to, but I don't really want to try

Nutters

Ok noods. Try to move it around as best you can, if it hurts a lot put some ice on it for a short while. Move your shoulder around in every way you can, even if it hurts. If you can hold your arm up in the air you should. Taking some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen or ASA will help you as well. Avoid hot showers if possible for a couple of days.

You can play footy this weekend but stay on the right side of the pitch if you can. By hugging the touchline you can keep your sore shoulder from bumping into anyone. If you can't do this then take a few painkillers beforehand.

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

Dr,

I have severe bruising to my upper right arm/shoulder. I'm supposed to be playing footy this weekend, but I don't want to aggrevate anything, so I need your clearance.

I don't think anything's broken, and there's not a constant pain there, but it doesn't like me lifting my arm much, and definitely doesn't like me stretching.

Is it safe for me to play without doing any damage?

Have you ever been 100% healthy?

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:02

I'm left footed, so this is unlikely.

I'm not worried about it hurting, just making sure I don't do any serious damage. I presume if it's just bruising I'm fairly safe.

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

Have you ever been 100% healthy?

I only ever get ill about once every two years, if that counts

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I only ever get ill about once every two years, if that counts

It doesn't.

Pogue Mahone · 15th August 2008, 14:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

Ok noods. Try to move it around as best you can, if it hurts a lot put some ice on it for a short while. Move your shoulder around in every way you can, even if it hurts. If you can hold your arm up in the air you should. Taking some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen or ASA will help you as well. Avoid hot showers if possible for a couple of days.

You can play footy this weekend but stay on the right side of the pitch if you can. By hugging the touchline you can keep your sore shoulder from bumping into anyone. If you can't do this then take a few painkillers beforehand.

Purely out of curiosity, are you really a doctor?

As an aside, Noodles is clearly being a wuss and the only person who really knows whether he can play football at the weekend is himself.

rimaldo · 15th August 2008, 14:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I only ever get ill about once every two years, if that counts

that's strange. i am always healthy, unless i am ill of course.

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

It doesn't.

You're not qualified to make that assessment

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Purely out of curiosity, are you really a doctor?

As an aside, Noodles is clearly being a wuss and the only person who really knows whether he can play football at the weekend is himself.

I just wanted to ask the doctor something.

He's a real doctor, you know

rimaldo · 15th August 2008, 14:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Purely out of curiosity, are you really a doctor?

i bloody hope he is. otherwise that was a severely fucked up prostate exam. though i do remember being slightly suspicious at the time because his practice looked like his tool shed.

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

You're not qualified to make that assessment

I'm the second opinion you always wanted to hear..

Surely Dr Dwayne should be busy with all his patients now, if he really is a doctor... instead of answering Noodles questions. Your arm hurts? Suck it up!

Top · 15th August 2008, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Purely out of curiosity, are you really a doctor?

He's a about as much of a doctor as Noods got noodle hair.

Pogue Mahone · 15th August 2008, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I just wanted to ask the doctor something.

He's a real doctor, you know

Good stuff.

The whole "hugging the touchline" advice was a nice touch. Never would have thought of that meself. Wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference to the risk of your shoulder getting more fecked but a nice touch nonetheless.

Top · 15th August 2008, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

Surely Dr Dwayne should be busy with all his patients now, if he really is a doctor... instead of answering Noodles questions.

Not necessarily - look at Pogue.

Pogue Mahone · 15th August 2008, 14:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Top

Not necessarily - look at Pogue.

Meh. Patients.

Over-rated if you ask me.

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Meh. Patients.

Over-rated if you ask me.

You must love your job then

Top · 15th August 2008, 14:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Meh. Patients.

Over-rated if you ask me.

That's the way to go, Pogue.
Only heal random weirdos off the internet who doesn't pay you for your expertise, that's how all doctors will be operating in the future - through Internet forums, it'll be awesome.

In this way you get to be a doctor and lurk on Spurs forums, now that's living.

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:19

I forgot to mention. I also dropped my phone on my toe last night

Pogue Mahone · 15th August 2008, 14:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

You must love your job then

I haven't been within spitting distance of a patient for almost 6 years. Thank feck. Patients are a bit of a drag really.

noodlehair · 15th August 2008, 14:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

I'm the second opinion you always wanted to hear..

Surely Dr Dwayne should be busy with all his patients now, if he really is a doctor... instead of answering Noodles questions. Your arm hurts? Suck it up!

That's not the opinion I wanted to hear

Dr. Dwayne · 15th August 2008, 14:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I'm left footed, so this is unlikely.

I'm not worried about it hurting, just making sure I don't do any serious damage. I presume if it's just bruising I'm fairly safe.

you'll be fine. a little pain is a good thing.

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:21

I haven't slept in two nights due to a stabbing pain in my shoulders, you don't see me whinging about it on a forum do you?

Men.

Pogue Mahone · 15th August 2008, 14:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

I haven't slept in two nights due to a stabbing pain in my shoulders, you don't see me whinging about it on a forum do you?

Men.

Pain hurts us more than it hurts you.

That's a medical fact.

Not really. I just made it up.

Dr. Dwayne · 15th August 2008, 14:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

I forgot to mention. I also dropped my phone on my toe last night

which toe? not one on your left foot I hope.

Oh and by the way, are you Ryan Giggs?

It's all coming together now.

Left footed, playing footy at the weekend, noodly hair:

CantonasWife · 15th August 2008, 14:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone

Pain hurts us more than it hurts you.

That's a medical fact.

Not really. I just made it up.

I knew there was a reason you're not allowed near patients anymore..

Dr. Dwayne · 15th August 2008, 14:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantonasWife

I haven't slept in two nights due to a stabbing pain in my shoulders, you don't see me whinging about it on a forum do you?

Men.

Tell Brad to put it away as it is too late for that, you shouldn't feel the pain any longer.

15th August 2008, 13:45	#1 (permalink)
noodlehair Sacked Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Posts: 31,845	FAO: Dr Dwayne - medical advice time Dr, I have severe bruising to my upper right arm/shoulder. I'm supposed to be playing footy this weekend, but I don't want to aggrevate anything, so I need your clearance. I don't think anything's broken, and there's not a constant pain there, but it doesn't like me lifting my arm much, and definitely doesn't like me stretching. Is it safe for me to play without doing any damage?

15th August 2008, 13:45	#2 (permalink)
Dr. Dwayne self confessed womens pantie wearer Join Date: May 2006 Location: form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Posts: 13,917	can you lift your arms above your head? how did you get this bruise (dare I ask)?

15th August 2008, 14:02	#6 (permalink)
noodlehair Sacked Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Posts: 31,845	I'm left footed, so this is unlikely. I'm not worried about it hurting, just making sure I don't do any serious damage. I presume if it's just bruising I'm fairly safe.

15th August 2008, 14:19	#21 (permalink)
noodlehair Sacked Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Posts: 31,845	I forgot to mention. I also dropped my phone on my toe last night

15th August 2008, 14:21	#25 (permalink)
CantonasWife Queen B Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,109	I haven't slept in two nights due to a stabbing pain in my shoulders, you don't see me whinging about it on a forum do you? Men.