Hectic lives

olesmyhero · 8th July 2008, 14:48

Stupid afterlife.

Spammy · 8th July 2008, 15:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hectic

It's not much different being dead, is it Spammy?

It's better actually, I may not go into work later, on account of being dead.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 15:36

That's right. Now I can badmouth as many people as I like and they can't say shit back to me. They wouldn't want to defile my memory would they?

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 15:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hectic

That's right. Now I can badmouth as many people as I like and they can't say shit back to me. They wouldn't want to defile my memory would they?

not when they could be defiling your corpse.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 15:49

But then I'd put fish paste and abortion mucus down my crack so the jokes on them.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 15:52

not if they used your eye sockets instead.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 15:57

I'd put forks in my eyes to deter them.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 16:00

a painful but necessary step to take to stop the rodgering of eye sockets after your demise. i have already dug the forks into my eyes now so that when i do eventually die of old age in 50 or 60 years time no-one will be violating my eyes, the bastards.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 16:12

We have to be one step ahead of these mutentards.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 16:18

indeed. no one wants their corpse to be violated by the likes of espada.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 16:18

Well, I kinda do.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 16:22

yeah, thinking about it, me too. well no one wants their corpse violated by a pack of wild dogs, rhythmically pounding your bloated, rotting flesh over and over again... oh wait.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 16:28

I only made it half way through that before I....well...you know.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 16:34

yeah me too. almost makes you want to kill yourself just so it might happen.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 16:35

Almost? I've got the knife to my jugular right now. Only problem is I need some male wolves to piss on me first to attract some of the other beasts.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 16:38

to whipsnade zoo to find some wolves. my mum's normally up for the pissing part though if there are none there. i just hate washing my hair afterwards.

Spammy · 8th July 2008, 18:47

Your mum can't piss at this precise moment, I've blocked her urethra with a baby carrot dipped in chili sauce.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 18:50

that's is you is it? can you keep your bloody noise down, i can't masterbate over my mum moaning and groaning with you pleading to bone the dog instead of her.

Spammy · 8th July 2008, 18:57

But it's giving me the bedroom eye, plus I've always had a weakness for short haired terriers.

rimaldo · 8th July 2008, 19:28

i know his come to bed eyes get me everytime too. that with two wags of the tail and im like putty in his hands.

Spammy · 9th July 2008, 05:36

Well I'm like putty in his face

8th July 2008, 14:48	#41 (permalink)
olesmyhero has a lazy eye...japs eye Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 4000+ miles west of old trafford Posts: 12,256	Stupid afterlife.

8th July 2008, 15:36	#43 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	That's right. Now I can badmouth as many people as I like and they can't say shit back to me. They wouldn't want to defile my memory would they?

8th July 2008, 15:49	#45 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	But then I'd put fish paste and abortion mucus down my crack so the jokes on them.

8th July 2008, 15:52	#46 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	not if they used your eye sockets instead.

8th July 2008, 15:57	#47 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	I'd put forks in my eyes to deter them.

8th July 2008, 16:00	#48 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	a painful but necessary step to take to stop the rodgering of eye sockets after your demise. i have already dug the forks into my eyes now so that when i do eventually die of old age in 50 or 60 years time no-one will be violating my eyes, the bastards.

8th July 2008, 16:12	#49 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	We have to be one step ahead of these mutentards.

8th July 2008, 16:18	#50 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	indeed. no one wants their corpse to be violated by the likes of espada.

8th July 2008, 16:18	#51 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	Well, I kinda do.

8th July 2008, 16:22	#52 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	yeah, thinking about it, me too. well no one wants their corpse violated by a pack of wild dogs, rhythmically pounding your bloated, rotting flesh over and over again... oh wait.

8th July 2008, 16:28	#53 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	I only made it half way through that before I....well...you know.

8th July 2008, 16:34	#54 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	yeah me too. almost makes you want to kill yourself just so it might happen.

8th July 2008, 16:35	#55 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 22,458	Almost? I've got the knife to my jugular right now. Only problem is I need some male wolves to piss on me first to attract some of the other beasts.

8th July 2008, 16:38	#56 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	to whipsnade zoo to find some wolves. my mum's normally up for the pissing part though if there are none there. i just hate washing my hair afterwards.

8th July 2008, 18:47	#57 (permalink)
Spammy IQ of 18.5 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'm going to make this pencil...disappear... Posts: 12,600	Your mum can't piss at this precise moment, I've blocked her urethra with a baby carrot dipped in chili sauce.

8th July 2008, 18:50	#58 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	that's is you is it? can you keep your bloody noise down, i can't masterbate over my mum moaning and groaning with you pleading to bone the dog instead of her.

8th July 2008, 18:57	#59 (permalink)
Spammy IQ of 18.5 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'm going to make this pencil...disappear... Posts: 12,600	But it's giving me the bedroom eye, plus I've always had a weakness for short haired terriers.

8th July 2008, 19:28	#60 (permalink)
rimaldo Out of the closet, into life. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the heath. Posts: 9,666	i know his come to bed eyes get me everytime too. that with two wags of the tail and im like putty in his hands.

9th July 2008, 05:36	#61 (permalink)
Spammy IQ of 18.5 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'm going to make this pencil...disappear... Posts: 12,600	Well I'm like putty in his face