HSBC Meeting Today

ukbob

OK, it appears that I had overlooked a credit card payment on my HSBC card. The reason being that I had not received the latest bill. I am pretty anal about making payments on time. I was told that irrespective of not receiving the bill it was still my responsibility to make the payment on time.
Now, how did I find out about this? Well, I received a phone call from my local branch to go in and visit some branch officer.

Here is how the conversation went. I have abbreviated it for time constraints.
“ Good morning Mr. Francis and how are you?” “Not very well” “Oh dear is it serious?” “ Yes I am dying” “Oh, I am sorry to hear that is it that bad?” “ I don’t know I will let you know when I am dead” perplexed look on his face “Well we are all dying are we not, I have no idea when but I thought it was a good answer don’t you?” “ Errr, yes I guess so” “ Yeah, breaks the ice a bit”
“ Right, what have you asked me in here for?” “ Well our call centre has been trying to contact you with reference to your HSBC credit card” “ have they?” “Yes, and evidently you have not been cooperating with them regards security questions” “ That’s right, did this Mr. Girish report me then” “No but may I ask why?” “ How do I know who they are, I mean there are so many scams out there at the moment with identity theft, they could be getting personal information from me for that reason. I have already been ripped off once, how do I know who is on the other end of the phone, he sounded pretty shady to me with his foreign accent” “ But all of our staff are security checked” “ No, you are missing the point, HOW DO I KNOW THAT IT IS HSBC “ “ Well they tell you who they are when you answer the phone” “ OK, who am I?” “ You are Mr. Francis” “ Am I, how do you know?” “ You told me” “ What if I told you that some man outside the bank stopped me and told me to come in pretending to be Mr. Francis” “ Ah, I think I see your point but you are Mr.Francis are you not?” “No, yes, I think so”. For Christ’s sake where do they find them.
Anyway I thought something was up from the initial calls and when I checked I found I had not made the payment. I made a payment 2 minutes before the meeting in the bank so when he informed me of this, it went like this.
“ you know you are in arrears on your account” “ No I am not” “ But our records show that you are” “ No they don’t” “ Err, let me get your account up on the screen” “ Mmmm, it appears that you recently made a payment” “ Isn’t that what I am supposed to do?” “ Well yes, thank you and thank you for coming in, is there anything more I can do for you?” “ Yes there is, I have this big cheque coming in from Sir Richard Branson for £750000 and wondered if you could give me an advance on that” “ err, that is not our policy” “ you don’t believe me do you?”” well, it does seem a little bit strange” “ well, you expect me to believe that a phone call is from HSBC because they say so and yet you have doubts about my cheque” “ That’s Ok I enjoy a good laugh and by the way I am starting a campaign against banks calling customers, I mean no one knows for sure who is calling do they? Good day”

I guarantee he will never call me back in, in actual fact I reckon he would make the payment for me rather than go through that again.

esmufc07

Bob you sound like such a cool man

redmanc

If i was the guy from the bank my answer would involve death and aids, you akward fecker

Still funny though!!

rimaldo

stop trying to poach my e-granddad you. i have my eye on you sonny jim.

esmufc07

What if I give you £42m tonight?

rimaldo

he is worth more to me than that. i am shocked you would even propose such a deal.

esmufc07

OK you win, I'll just donate the money to the RedCafe coffers instead.

Slevin

I just tell my bank to STFU.

Stanley Road

If UKBOB came into my bank with that attitude i'd have punched him in the Nutsack

ukbob

He did have a little smile on his face though, I think he enjoyed the wind up.....a little.

Stanley Road

I hate bank people, i work above a bank

They really are arrogant fuckers and ALWAYS use the lift to go to the 1st floor......

Cunts

ukbob

Yeah, this prick had that smirky arrogant look.

brophs

Nice one, Bob. You do seem to attract these oddballs, don't you?

Derek Brown

Good on you, Bob. These bastards seem to think that they're above everybody else. I've just had a call for an "account review". I just kept asking her why she wanted me to travel to the Branch, why my account needed reviewing, why she wouldn't come to me, was my account a problem to them etc etc. She gave up in the end!

esmufc07