I just answered the door to someone who, without a hint of a smirk, said

Eyepopper · 17th September 2008, 13:27

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

fucking nutjobs

Dr. Dwayne · 17th September 2008, 13:28

and you didn't invite them in for tea and to talk about prostate stimulation?

Sparky19 · 17th September 2008, 13:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

and you didn't invite them in for tea and to talk about prostate stimulation?

Partizan · 17th September 2008, 13:29

And you turned them down!!you'll live to regret this missed opportunity.

Eyepopper · 17th September 2008, 13:30

they're going down on me as I type...

in fairness,,, it actually is enriching my life... pain in the arse holding the knife to her throat though...

Eyepopper · 17th September 2008, 13:43

Cheeky fuckers though arent they? when I said I wasnt interested she said "you're not interested in ways to make your life better?"

they've obviously been taking cold calling lessons..

TheRedFlag · 17th September 2008, 13:45

I gave £2 to a lady on the street saying she wants to kiss me.

My mates were well jealous.

muller · 17th September 2008, 13:49

I open the door to Jehovas Witnesses and claim to be the devil.

They have tried to cleanse my soul. To which i reply.

yeah, im still the devil.

Gone on for about 20 whole minutes.

I remember my sister and me used to stand at the window and shout "no one is in".

Partizan · 17th September 2008, 13:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

Cheeky fuckers though arent they? when I said I wasnt interested she said "you're not interested in ways to make your life better?"

they've obviously been taking cold calling lessons..

Who are they, witnesses, Mormons, or a slightly more deranged side project?

1871_Biscuit · 17th September 2008, 13:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by muller

I open the door to Jehovas Witnesses and claim to be the devil.

They have tried to cleanse my soul. To which i reply.

yeah, im still the devil.

Gone on for about 20 whole minutes.

remember my sister and me used to stand at the window and shout "no one is in".

You do realise that gave it away, that you were in?

Self-inflicted.

muller · 17th September 2008, 13:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cock Biscuit

You do realise that gave it away, that you were in?

Self-inflicted.

That was the humour aspect. We wanted to know we would go to that much blatant trouble just to taunt them.

a_devil_inside · 17th September 2008, 14:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

the lord is dead, she clearly is planning to kill you. Get out while you can

Devil_forever · 17th September 2008, 15:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

fucking nutjobs

I know a few jehovah's witnesses (they're friends of my mum; not through religion) and they are well mannered, helpful and kind people and they actually practice what they preach. I always put anti God arguments against them and most the times they can pick out something in the bible to counter it and they actually follow the teahcings of the bible properly unlike most protestants and catholics. You can mock them for their door to door stuff if you want but they only do it as they GENUINELY believe its for your own good and imvho if everyone lived like them, the world would be a much much better place even if I don't agree with some of their beliefs.

Garethw · 17th September 2008, 17:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devil_forever

I know a few jehovah's witnesses (they're friends of my mum; not through religion) and they are well mannered, helpful and kind people and they actually practice what they preach. I always put anti God arguments against them and most the times they can pick out something in the bible to counter it and they actually follow the teahcings of the bible properly unlike most protestants and catholics. You can mock them for their door to door stuff if you want but they only do it as they GENUINELY believe its for your own good and imvho if everyone lived like them, the world would be a much much better place even if I don't agree with some of their beliefs.

I personally can't get my head around a lot of what they believe.

For example blood transfusions. They'd rather have someone they love die than be transfused. That to me is pure fucking madness.

KanieKaned · 17th September 2008, 17:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

fucking nutjobs

Send em up my way man I get great skit out of these folk

brophs · 17th September 2008, 17:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devil_forever

imvho if everyone lived like them, the world would be a much much better place even if I don't agree with some of their beliefs.

Wouldn't we all just spend out time knocking on each other's doors, though. And no one would ever be in, because they'd all be out, knocking on doors. It'd be madness I tells you, madness.

samabachan · 17th September 2008, 17:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

they're going down on me as I type...

in fairness,,, it actually is enriching my life... pain in the arse holding the knife to her throat though...

Surely more of a pain in the neck?

Stanley Road · 17th September 2008, 17:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

fucking nutjobs

"If you dont fuck off from my door i will bring you closer to the Lord sooner than you think"

Should be your answer

samabachan · 17th September 2008, 17:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanley Road

"If you dont fuck off from my door i will bring you closer to the Lord sooner than you think"

Should be your answer

No that's not very nice. After all they think they're helping you. Something more subtle like, "Ahhh, the Virgin Mary told me you were coming!! I'm so happy. Would you like to come in and see my collection of hunting knives?

"

niMic · 17th September 2008, 18:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eyepopper

".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord."

fucking nutjobs

Fun fact: If you search for 'The Lord' in Google images, Jesus is the third picture. Numbers one and two are pictures of the One Ring from Lord of the Rings.

ciderman9000000 · 17th September 2008, 18:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by niMic

Fun fact: If you search for 'The Lord' in Google images, Jesus is the third picture. Numbers one and two are pictures of the One Ring from Lord of the Rings.

Fun fact #2: The fun factor of fun fact #1 is debatable.

niMic · 17th September 2008, 18:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciderman9000000

Fun fact #2: The fun factor of fun fact #1 is debatable.

Fun fact #3: I hate you

Jacob · 17th September 2008, 18:50

A cousin opened the door, saw them and shut it in their face.

a_devil_inside · 17th September 2008, 19:23

what would happen if you opened the door with a knife in hand, bit blood round the mouth and your first words were "ah fresh meat"

17th September 2008, 13:27	#1 (permalink)
Eyepopper First Team Regular Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lowering the Tone since 2006 Posts: 16,939	I just answered the door to someone who, without a hint of a smirk, said ".... hello, I'm from the Kingdom Of Heaven. If you're interested, I'd love to talk to you about ways in which we could help enrich your life and bring you closer to the lord." fucking nutjobs

17th September 2008, 13:28	#2 (permalink)
Dr. Dwayne self confessed womens pantie wearer Join Date: May 2006 Location: form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Posts: 14,456	and you didn't invite them in for tea and to talk about prostate stimulation?

17th September 2008, 13:29	#4 (permalink)
Partizan Cheesy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: I'm not a stranger, I'm Nani's cousin, and I have an evil head. it runs in the Family. Posts: 3,386	And you turned them down!!you'll live to regret this missed opportunity.

17th September 2008, 13:30	#5 (permalink)
Eyepopper First Team Regular Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lowering the Tone since 2006 Posts: 16,939	they're going down on me as I type... in fairness,,, it actually is enriching my life... pain in the arse holding the knife to her throat though...

17th September 2008, 13:43	#6 (permalink)
Eyepopper First Team Regular Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lowering the Tone since 2006 Posts: 16,939	Cheeky fuckers though arent they? when I said I wasnt interested she said "you're not interested in ways to make your life better?" they've obviously been taking cold calling lessons..

17th September 2008, 13:45	#7 (permalink)
TheRedFlag resident idiot Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 10,939	I gave £2 to a lady on the street saying she wants to kiss me. My mates were well jealous.

17th September 2008, 13:49	#8 (permalink)
muller Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2008 Location: infront of you. Posts: 3,786	I open the door to Jehovas Witnesses and claim to be the devil. They have tried to cleanse my soul. To which i reply. yeah, im still the devil. Gone on for about 20 whole minutes. I remember my sister and me used to stand at the window and shout "no one is in".

17th September 2008, 18:50	#23 (permalink)
Jacob ralugeR maeT tsriF Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: I'm here Posts: 12,264	A cousin opened the door, saw them and shut it in their face.

17th September 2008, 19:23	#24 (permalink)
a_devil_inside Big footed hermaphrodite Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Little Britain Posts: 25,834	what would happen if you opened the door with a knife in hand, bit blood round the mouth and your first words were "ah fresh meat"