Robbie Keane - 101 Ways to be a Cunt

brophs · 8th July 2008, 13:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

0) If he grew a moustache and put on German 2nd World War clothing, he'd probably look a bit like a knob

Quote:

Originally Posted by noodlehair

1) Someone, possibly him, has at some point considered the possibility of him growing a moustache

You really wish you could grow a moustache, don't you?

paddyf091 · 8th July 2008, 13:21

51) He's a cunt:

Quote:

"Do you want an interview? Do you? Do you? Let's take it outside so, you and me, let's go," he growled. When asked if he'd like to chat he turned to the other players and let out a loud laugh. Staff then attempted to calm Robbie down as he flapped and waved his hands in protest at the media's presence. Well it was either a member of the press or the Tallaghtfornian was having a flashback to an offside decision.

sincher · 8th July 2008, 13:21

12) Being solely responsible for the conversion of John O'Shea from marauding young left-back who nutmegged Figo to well average utility player.

paddyf091 · 8th July 2008, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by paddyf091

47) He's from Tallaght

This counts for about 10 btw

Utd heap · 8th July 2008, 13:22

Defends President Mugabe.

peterstorey · 8th July 2008, 13:24

100) he plays for Spurs.

I_live_cement · 8th July 2008, 13:24

52) Isn't responsible for Busted's breakup

Partizan · 8th July 2008, 13:25

He has a secret room in his two thousand bedded mansion in the clouds, where he keeps rare animals, such as Unicorns and behemoths to hunt.

Utd heap · 8th July 2008, 13:26

Encourages rascism in small children.

paddyf091 · 8th July 2008, 13:26

Is racist to small children

I_live_cement · 8th July 2008, 13:28

55) Has never cured cancer, not even once.

KanieKane · 8th July 2008, 13:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by paddyf091

He tried to have a star studded wedding in Ballybrack

That was probably the funniest bit I fuckin live out here and theres no way you can have a star studded affair out here even bono gets fuck all star treatment

paddyf091 · 8th July 2008, 13:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by KanieKane

That was probably the funniest bit I fuckin live out here and theres no way you can have a star studded affair out here even bono gets fuck all star treatment

It didn't help that he invited Jonathan Woodgate and Shay Given. It was basically a wedding full of gypos and orange women.

esmufc07 · 8th July 2008, 13:30

Commends animal cruelty.

Utd heap · 8th July 2008, 13:30

Failed to defend himself on this thread, despite countless possibly inaccurate observations.

paddyf091 · 8th July 2008, 13:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Utd heap

Failed to defend himself on this thread, despite countless possibly inaccurate observations.

Like what?

Solius · 8th July 2008, 13:32

56) Kicks old ladies in the tits

KeyserSoze · 8th July 2008, 13:32

His middle name is David. Cunt.

Spammy · 8th July 2008, 13:32

99) Once won a reacharound from Roy Hodgson after scoring a goal for Wolverhampton Wanderers.

KanieKane · 8th July 2008, 13:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by paddyf091

It didn't help that he invited Jonathan Woodgate and Shay Given. It was basically a wedding full of gypos and orange women.

sure dont i know man I made me way up that direction it was only about a five minute walk from my house. He had the place covered in security couldnt get near the church I tried all the lil sneaky gaps that as kids we would have used when coming back from the beach etc still had no luck and from what I saw outside there was a fierce amount of pikeys knocking aboot the place

Utd heap · 8th July 2008, 13:34

Sits by his computer all day making up shite, instead of going and playing Football.

KanieKane · 8th July 2008, 13:36

100) rumoured to shave his ring piece as it helps him "sonically"??????

jgraham2704 · 8th July 2008, 13:36

Laughed at me when i tripped and hurt my knee, cunt.

brophs · 8th July 2008, 13:36

56. A mate worked in the UCD student accomodation, getting non-residents to sign in as guests at the front desk. Robbie Keane was over with his now wife, and when he was signing in, he did the smarmy handshake while giving him a crumpled fiver. My mate handed him back the fiver and said "Nah, you don't need to pay to get in". Robbie looked shocked that the peasant had refused his generosity.(This one's actually true)

KanieKane · 8th July 2008, 13:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by brophs

56. A mate worked in the UCD student accomodation, getting non-residents to sign in as guests at the front desk. Robbie Keane was over with his now wife, and when he was signing in, he did the smarmy handshake while giving him a crumpled fiver. My mate handed him back the fiver and said "Nah, you don't need to pay to get in". Robbie looked shocked that the peasant had refused his generosity.(This one's actually true)

handing someone a fiver is a fucking insult to their intelligence

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 13:40

57) Was breast fed till 9

brophs · 8th July 2008, 13:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by KanieKane

handing someone a fiver is a fucking insult to their intelligence

I dunno, my mate's a bit thick

Shotgun raisin · 8th July 2008, 13:42

8)He's the source of bird flu.

Decotron · 8th July 2008, 13:42

Good man Hectic your thread seems to have stumpled upon a whole lot of Robbie hatred! Personally Im all for it!

Im blame him for Damien Duffs lack of legs

Solius · 8th July 2008, 13:42

58) Every Thursday he flies out to Africa and eats a banquet in front of starving children. He then shittily cartwheels all the way home.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 13:43

Eat an aids penis and die Robbie.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Shotgun raisin · 8th July 2008, 13:44

8)He never lost his baby teeth.

Hectic · 8th July 2008, 13:44

60) He punched a baby in the face

8th July 2008, 13:21	#83 (permalink)
sincher Les jeux sont Fait Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: YSC Posts: 13,679	12) Being solely responsible for the conversion of John O'Shea from marauding young left-back who nutmegged Figo to well average utility player.

8th July 2008, 13:22	#85 (permalink)
Utd heap Last Man Standing (joint) Champion 2008 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: At an away ground near you... Posts: 6,864	Defends President Mugabe.

8th July 2008, 13:24	#86 (permalink)
peterstorey Winner of the 'Most pompous arrogant pretentious Gooner' title 2004 Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Happy those, who can remain at Highbury! Posts: 8,158	100) he plays for Spurs.

8th July 2008, 13:24	#87 (permalink)
I_live_cement Cat freak Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lancashire Posts: 4,294	52) Isn't responsible for Busted's breakup

8th July 2008, 13:25	#88 (permalink)
Partizan Cheesy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The frozen tundra, working in a bun shop. I have been in your homes, and they are DIRTY. Posts: 2,636	He has a secret room in his two thousand bedded mansion in the clouds, where he keeps rare animals, such as Unicorns and behemoths to hunt.

8th July 2008, 13:26	#89 (permalink)
Utd heap Last Man Standing (joint) Champion 2008 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: At an away ground near you... Posts: 6,864	Encourages rascism in small children.

8th July 2008, 13:26	#90 (permalink)
paddyf091 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: "I don't think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell football, never mind understand it." Posts: 1,928	Is racist to small children

8th July 2008, 13:28	#91 (permalink)
I_live_cement Cat freak Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lancashire Posts: 4,294	55) Has never cured cancer, not even once.

8th July 2008, 13:30	#94 (permalink)
esmufc07 Smashed's bitch Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: los libertadores fascistas y conquistadorsis (lolibfascon) allows nations to cast off oppressive governments and tyrannical sovereigns and be presided over by a war hungry hamster and his band of wise generals. Posts: 7,866	Commends animal cruelty.

8th July 2008, 13:30	#95 (permalink)
Utd heap Last Man Standing (joint) Champion 2008 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: At an away ground near you... Posts: 6,864	Failed to defend himself on this thread, despite countless possibly inaccurate observations.

8th July 2008, 13:32	#97 (permalink)
Solius First Team Sub Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Playing Connect 4 with Tevez and Anderson. Posts: 5,490	56) Kicks old ladies in the tits

8th July 2008, 13:32	#98 (permalink)
KeyserSoze First Team Sub Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: The Way I Hear It Soze's Some Kind Of Butcher Posts: 6,413	His middle name is David. Cunt.

8th July 2008, 13:32	#99 (permalink)
Spammy Struggling to make the reserves Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'm going to make this pencil...disappear... Posts: 11,587	99) Once won a reacharound from Roy Hodgson after scoring a goal for Wolverhampton Wanderers.

8th July 2008, 13:34	#101 (permalink)
Utd heap Last Man Standing (joint) Champion 2008 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: At an away ground near you... Posts: 6,864	Sits by his computer all day making up shite, instead of going and playing Football.

8th July 2008, 13:36	#102 (permalink)
KanieKane Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ive gone and wet meself Posts: 2,081	100) rumoured to shave his ring piece as it helps him "sonically"??????

8th July 2008, 13:36	#103 (permalink)
jgraham2704 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Institution tea bitch Posts: 1,715	Laughed at me when i tripped and hurt my knee, cunt.

8th July 2008, 13:36	#104 (permalink)
brophs Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: "Say what you want about America, thirteen bucks still gets you a helluva lot of mice." Posts: 3,361	56. A mate worked in the UCD student accomodation, getting non-residents to sign in as guests at the front desk. Robbie Keane was over with his now wife, and when he was signing in, he did the smarmy handshake while giving him a crumpled fiver. My mate handed him back the fiver and said "Nah, you don't need to pay to get in". Robbie looked shocked that the peasant had refused his generosity.(This one's actually true)

8th July 2008, 13:40	#106 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,998	57) Was breast fed till 9

8th July 2008, 13:42	#108 (permalink)
Shotgun raisin Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: the path of the Mean Posts: 2,532	8)He's the source of bird flu.

8th July 2008, 13:42	#109 (permalink)
Decotron Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: So near I can smell it..... Posts: 1,859	Good man Hectic your thread seems to have stumpled upon a whole lot of Robbie hatred! Personally Im all for it! Im blame him for Damien Duffs lack of legs

8th July 2008, 13:42	#110 (permalink)
Solius First Team Sub Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Playing Connect 4 with Tevez and Anderson. Posts: 5,490	58) Every Thursday he flies out to Africa and eats a banquet in front of starving children. He then shittily cartwheels all the way home.

8th July 2008, 13:43	#111 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,998	Eat an aids penis and die Robbie. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

8th July 2008, 13:44	#112 (permalink)
Shotgun raisin Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: the path of the Mean Posts: 2,532	8)He never lost his baby teeth.

8th July 2008, 13:44	#113 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,998	60) He punched a baby in the face