The Suffering Thread

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 08:49

I feel feckin dreadful, I'm also pretty sure I'm still drunk. It took me a while to figure out why my tuna fish sandwich I had sat on my leg this morning was burning me, before I realized there was more than a strong possibility it wasn't my tuna fish sandwich, but was actually my cup of coffee I was resting on my leg as my hand was shaking too much. I also managed to put my bottle of water in my bag without screwing the lid on, and whilst on the train to work I somehow changed my phones network from orange to some foreign one beginning with B who's name I'm not even going to attempt to spell. (Anyone know how to sort this by the way?)

My only consolation as I sit here in work actually sweating alcohol, is that there must be literally hundreds of thousands of United fans around the world at the moment who feel just as bad as I do. So come on gimps tell me how hungover you are, to make me feel slightly better

Ceks · 12th May 2008, 08:54

Fair play. Monday though, horrible day for a hangover!

Well atleast you won the league, CL also to look forward to. Perhaps you should book the next day of work after the CL.

Crustanoid · 12th May 2008, 08:59

Trying to work

It's a struggle

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 09:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by cekscrayons

Fair play. Monday though, horrible day for a hangover!

Well atleast you won the league, CL also to look forward to. Perhaps you should book the next day of work after the CL.

Well I'm going back up to Manc for the final, so I've booked 3 days off then anyway. But you're right, I'm not going through this again. The worst thing is it's lovely weather and there are scantily clad, beautiful women everywhere and I probably look half zombified. I just wanted to hide into my jacket whilst sat on the train surrounded by hot women, but unfortunately I had already spilt water all over it earlier on. Feck it though we're the Champions, I'm finding it very hard to feel sorry for myself if I'm honest. If it wasn't for the fact my face has lost all moisture and might actually be permanently frozen into this slightly agonized look I've been carrying all morning, I would probably be smiling.

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 09:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crustanoid

Trying to work

It's a struggle

I've been sat in work since 8 and haven't done a thing yet. I don't think I can face it. I'm here, thats about as much as I can handle. I'm going to see how long I can get away with doing absolutely nothing. I reckon I can make it to lunch time, if I hide my screen behind a big pile of papers and occasionally pick up a sheet, stare at it intently before swearing at it.

3Sixty · 12th May 2008, 09:59

I got hayfever

cesc's_mullet · 12th May 2008, 10:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

I feel feckin dreadful, I'm also pretty sure I'm still drunk. It took me a while to figure out why my tuna fish sandwich I had sat on my leg this morning was burning me, before I realized there was more than a strong possibility it wasn't my tuna fish sandwich, but was actually my cup of coffee I was resting on my leg as my hand was shaking too much. I also managed to put my bottle of water in my bag without screwing the lid on, and whilst on the train to work I somehow changed my phones network from orange to some foreign one beginning with B who's name I'm not even going to attempt to spell. (Anyone know how to sort this by the way?)

My only consolation as I sit here in work actually sweating alcohol, is that there must be literally hundreds of thousands of United fans around the world at the moment who feel just as bad as I do. So come on gimps tell me how hungover you are, to make me feel slightly better

Oh, the old burbon sweats are horrible.

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 10:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

Oh, the old burbon sweats are horrible.

I know its a feckin horrible feeling isn't it. On the brightside my mate was in as equally a dire state as me, and he has to get up this morning to go to work- as a removal man. Heh heh he's going to be violently ill today I reckon

FortBoyard · 12th May 2008, 10:55

I got the day off.... get in.

cesc's_mullet · 12th May 2008, 10:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

I know its a feckin horrible feeling isn't it. On the brightside my mate was in as equally a dire state as me, and he has to get up this morning to go to work- as a removal man. Heh heh he's going to be violently ill today I reckon

Haha, well at least he'll be removing the contents of his stomach.

Boom boom.

On a serious note, as much as it's not an appealing idea - get as much water up ya as you can. Also get some carbohydrates, namely bread or something to help soak the shite up!

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 10:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by FortBoyard

I got the day off.... get in.

Feck off. You're not making me fell better here you know. I was tempted to pull a sicky this morning, but my boss knows I'm a United fan. And unfortunately he is one of thos rare management types who are actually capable of putting 2 and 2 together.

Chorley1974 · 12th May 2008, 11:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

I know its a feckin horrible feeling isn't it. On the brightside my mate was in as equally a dire state as me, and he has to get up this morning to go to work- as a removal man. Heh heh he's going to be violently ill today I reckon

you're evil

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 11:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

Haha, well at least he'll be removing the contents of his stomach.

Boom boom.

On a serious note, as much as it's not an appealing idea - get as much water up ya as you can. Also get some carbohydrates, namely bread or something to help soak the shite up!

Water is actually very appealing right now. I've gone through a litre this morning already. I woke up yesterday morning in a piss poor state as well and found I had no bread and the twatting milk had gone off. I had to walk all the way to the nearest shop (its only 10 minutes away) but I was so hungover I had to sit down half way there! That was sort of embarassing I have to admit. One thing I did discover though is no matter how ill you are feeling, never any circumstances try and sober yourself up with a muller strawberry and banana yoghurt drink. Even if spar are doing a buy one get one free offer. Thought I was going to be sick there and then

Chorley1974 · 12th May 2008, 11:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

Feck off. You're not making me fell better here you know. I was tempted to pull a sicky this morning, but my boss knows I'm a United fan. And unfortunately he is one of thos rare management types who are actually capable of putting 2 and 2 together.

I just moved to hungary, it's a Bank Holiday here today.... get in!!!

Crustanoid · 12th May 2008, 11:15

still done fuck all work

oh and 1000 posts

cesc's_mullet · 12th May 2008, 11:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

Water is actually very appealing right now. I've gone through a litre this morning already. I woke up yesterday morning in a piss poor state as well and found I had no bread and the twatting milk had gone off. I had to walk all the way to the nearest shop (its only 10 minutes away) but I was so hungover I had to sit down half way there! That was sort of embarassing I have to admit. One thing I did discover though is no matter how ill you are feeling, never any circumstances try and sober yourself up with a muller strawberry and banana yoghurt drink. Even if spar are doing a buy one get one free offer. Thought I was going to be sick there and then

Amateur mistake mate!

comlag · 12th May 2008, 11:28

I just woke up and I can't feel my mouth.

Luckily I only have to be somewhere an hour ago

I_live_cement · 12th May 2008, 11:31

What is your job? And does it involve sitting at a desk all day? If so you may be alright. Just shout the odd expletive every now and then and look pissed off every time someone looks at you, that should fool them into thinking you're doing something important.

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 11:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

Amateur mistake mate!

I really don't know what I was thinking. I knew it wouldn't end well, and yet some voice in the back of my alcohol soaked mind kept telling me 'it has fruit in it, it has to be good for you' Feckin traitorous brain, obviously wanted revenge on my stomach .

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 11:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by I_live_cement

What is your job? And does it involve sitting at a desk all day? If so you may be alright. Just shout the odd expletive every now and then and look pissed off every time someone looks at you, that should fool them into thinking you're doing something important.

Surveyor. I think my boss wants me to do a site visit later on. I'm not sure how I am going to get out of that yet. I think I might just feign leg cramp. It worked all the time when playing football in school and the ball was kicked feckin miles off the pitch and I couldn't be arsed to get it

Suresh · 12th May 2008, 11:38

Stop being such a wimp, Smashed. I sent the whole night drinking scotch before someone suggested adding vodka chasers. Not too long later someone else whipped up a steady stream of mojitos. I have fleeting images of people saying goodbye and leaving my place around 4 am. Woke up in the hall at about 7.30 and promptly hit the gym to sweat it out. Had a light breakfast and started cleaning the mess from last night. And then I went to take my shower... only to find the girlfriend on my bed snoring her head off. It was almost 10 and she starts work at 8. The string of expletives she let loose upon realising the time even I would not repeat in polite company. Blamed me for her hangover too as I drove her to work.

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 11:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suresh

Stop being such a wimp, Smashed. I sent the whole night drinking scotch before someone suggested adding vodka chasers. Not too long later someone else whipped up a steady stream of mojitos. I have fleeting images of people saying goodbye and leaving my place around 4 am. Woke up in the hall at about 7.30 and promptly hit the gym to sweat it out. Had a light breakfast and started cleaning the mess from last night. And then I went to take my shower... only to find the girlfriend on my bed snoring her head off. It was almost 10 and she starts work at 8. The string of expletives she let loose upon realising the time even I would not repeat in polite company. Blamed me for her hangover too as I drove her to work.

Shut it, you have no idea of the pain I am in. No one has ever suffered like this before, ever. I'm a man alone, no one can comprehend this kind of agony. No one.

And no one is going to believe you go to the gym twiglet arms, even if you do slyly throw that in halfway through your story.

marcosdeto · 12th May 2008, 11:45

for hangovers, better than water is gatorade, because it gives you salt and minerals that you always lose when you drink alcohol

btw, i hate monday mornings, but today i feel great, i even taped yesterday game and i can't wait till i get home to watch it again

1871_Biscuit · 12th May 2008, 12:01

What the fuck do you have to suffer about.

FUCK, anyone know of an cheap hotels in bridgenorth?

Suresh · 12th May 2008, 12:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

Shut it, you have no idea of the pain I am in. No one has ever suffered like this before, ever. I'm a man alone, no one can comprehend this kind of agony. No one.

And no one is going to believe you go to the gym twiglet arms, even if you do slyly throw that in halfway through your story.

Actually, I don't go to the gym. I've got one at home.

Oh and...

BOOM!

How's the headache then.

Decotron · 12th May 2008, 12:10

I was clever yesterday and txt my boss. Got a reply "Please tell me this the last Man United match this season"? ha ha fair play to her though.

SmashedHombre · 12th May 2008, 12:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suresh

Actually, I don't go to the gym. I've got one at home.

Oh and...

BOOM!

How's the headache then.

I don't remember reading about that in your biography. This story is getting less believable by the minute Suresh.

It feels like Thor himself is trapped in side my skull and is trying to hammer his way out. Naturally I'm taking it all like a feckin trooper. I can't afford to show any weakness, not in my line of work.

Suresh · 12th May 2008, 12:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashedHombre

I don't remember reading about that in your biography. This story is getting less believable by the minute Suresh.

The gym is in a different coconut tree from the one parliament convenes in. We have more that one coconut tree, you know.

Quote:

It feels like Thor himself is trapped in side my skull and is trying to hammer his way out. Naturally I'm taking it all like a feckin trooper. I can't afford to show any weakness, not in my line of work.

Tough lot, you surveyors. I can see that.

Now stop being a baby and make a quick dash to the nearest pub for a pint or three. It's lunchtime there, is it not. Nothing like the hair of the dog to sort those hangover headaches right out.

Hectic · 12th May 2008, 13:54

Somehow, I'm alright.

I was smashed off my face yesterday and higher then then clouds but todays been alright.

12th May 2008, 08:49	#1 (permalink)
SmashedHombre Has a date with the Grim Reaper - lol Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Slightly more handsome, intelligent and talented than Rams. Far more likely to shag sheep than most rams too. Posts: 17,882	The Suffering Thread I feel feckin dreadful, I'm also pretty sure I'm still drunk. It took me a while to figure out why my tuna fish sandwich I had sat on my leg this morning was burning me, before I realized there was more than a strong possibility it wasn't my tuna fish sandwich, but was actually my cup of coffee I was resting on my leg as my hand was shaking too much. I also managed to put my bottle of water in my bag without screwing the lid on, and whilst on the train to work I somehow changed my phones network from orange to some foreign one beginning with B who's name I'm not even going to attempt to spell. (Anyone know how to sort this by the way?) My only consolation as I sit here in work actually sweating alcohol, is that there must be literally hundreds of thousands of United fans around the world at the moment who feel just as bad as I do. So come on gimps tell me how hungover you are, to make me feel slightly better

12th May 2008, 08:54	#2 (permalink)
Ceks Cekscrayons Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Maybe it's my birthday, I honestly don't know. I'm 58? There's not much I need - I have plenty of socks (Arsene Wenger) Posts: 1,143	Fair play. Monday though, horrible day for a hangover! Well atleast you won the league, CL also to look forward to. Perhaps you should book the next day of work after the CL.

12th May 2008, 08:59	#3 (permalink)
Crustanoid Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lancs Posts: 1,466	Trying to work It's a struggle

12th May 2008, 09:59	#6 (permalink)
3Sixty Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: St Marys Dugout Posts: 918	I got hayfever

12th May 2008, 10:55	#9 (permalink)
FortBoyard AdN11 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: The Champions of England & Europe Posts: 1,217	I got the day off.... get in.

12th May 2008, 11:15	#15 (permalink)
Crustanoid Reserve Team Player Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lancs Posts: 1,466	still done fuck all work oh and 1000 posts

12th May 2008, 11:28	#17 (permalink)
comlag Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2006 Location: Daydream Nation Posts: 1,137	I just woke up and I can't feel my mouth. Luckily I only have to be somewhere an hour ago

12th May 2008, 11:31	#18 (permalink)
I_live_cement Cat freak Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lancashire Posts: 3,906	What is your job? And does it involve sitting at a desk all day? If so you may be alright. Just shout the odd expletive every now and then and look pissed off every time someone looks at you, that should fool them into thinking you're doing something important.

12th May 2008, 11:38	#21 (permalink)
Suresh nice guy but workshy bum Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ankh-Morpork Posts: 18,677	Stop being such a wimp, Smashed. I sent the whole night drinking scotch before someone suggested adding vodka chasers. Not too long later someone else whipped up a steady stream of mojitos. I have fleeting images of people saying goodbye and leaving my place around 4 am. Woke up in the hall at about 7.30 and promptly hit the gym to sweat it out. Had a light breakfast and started cleaning the mess from last night. And then I went to take my shower... only to find the girlfriend on my bed snoring her head off. It was almost 10 and she starts work at 8. The string of expletives she let loose upon realising the time even I would not repeat in polite company. Blamed me for her hangover too as I drove her to work.

12th May 2008, 11:45	#23 (permalink)
marcosdeto Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Buenos Aires - Argentina Posts: 27,835	for hangovers, better than water is gatorade, because it gives you salt and minerals that you always lose when you drink alcohol btw, i hate monday mornings, but today i feel great, i even taped yesterday game and i can't wait till i get home to watch it again

12th May 2008, 12:01	#24 (permalink)
1871_Biscuit Very simple Simon Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Tilehurst Occupation: rimaldo's bitch - A simple man named simon, wanted to bum uncooked chickens but couldn't find em,he asked his mate rimaldo, who said who said "hey i know!", "if i bend over you can destroy my ass hymen." Posts: 3,029	What the fuck do you have to suffer about. FUCK, anyone know of an cheap hotels in bridgenorth?

12th May 2008, 12:10	#26 (permalink)
Decotron Reserve Team Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: So near I can smell it..... Posts: 1,639	I was clever yesterday and txt my boss. Got a reply "Please tell me this the last Man United match this season"? ha ha fair play to her though.

12th May 2008, 13:54	#29 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,331	Somehow, I'm alright. I was smashed off my face yesterday and higher then then clouds but todays been alright.