Unexpected answers to funny jokes

Lizard King · 12th May 2008, 07:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by samabachan

Why are Kenyans such good long distance runners?

Because they train hard and they deserve it

Lizard King · 12th May 2008, 07:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by poisson

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar, the barman see's them and says

"Is this some sort of fucking joke?????

"

anver · 12th May 2008, 08:10

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?

A cock that stays awake and crows all night.

zing · 12th May 2008, 09:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by samabachan

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "I'm afraid you have haemophilia."

zing · 12th May 2008, 09:29

Two black men are in a car. Who is driving?

Could be either one of them.

Roger · 12th May 2008, 09:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by UBERScholes

What does a man with a two foot cock have for breakfast?

This morning I had a boiled egg

Vidicious · 12th May 2008, 09:37

Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Roger · 12th May 2008, 09:39

Q What do you call an Irishman with a pigs bladder on a stick?

A An Irishman with a pigs bladder on a stick.

Roger · 12th May 2008, 09:54

Q Whats black and walks into Pianos?

A: People of all races walk into Pianos.

Pianos Restaurant
158 Ludlow St. (Stanton St.)
New York, NY 10002
212-505-3733

Roger · 12th May 2008, 10:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vidicious

Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Very true, particularly when an individual is being gang raped by 9 people.

sully07 · 12th May 2008, 11:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roger

Very true, particularly when an individual is being gang raped by 9 people.

Woooooooooooooosh

Wit Tanker · 12th May 2008, 12:23

What do you call an Indian driving a bus?

Bus driver

Vidicious · 12th May 2008, 12:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roger

Very true, particularly when an individual is being gang raped by 9 people.

.................................................. .................................................. ......

I don't think you got it.

Nialler · 12th May 2008, 12:53

a bloke walks into a shop and says, "Can I have a loaf of bread please?",

the shop assistant replies, "Brown or white?"

the bloke says,"Nah your alright, me bikes outside".

Ecroyd · 12th May 2008, 17:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rahul

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub

And the whole scene unfolds, with a humerous inevitability..

bill bailey

Ecroyd · 12th May 2008, 17:05

what does DNA stand for

national dyslexic asociation

Ecroyd · 12th May 2008, 17:10

what came first the chicken or the egg

well it has to have been the egg since evolution states that animals evolve into different species a similar creature to a chicken will have laid an egg with a genetic mutation that when hatched became a chicken, hence3 the egg came first

Ecroyd · 12th May 2008, 17:14

whats the best part about having sex with 26 year olds

the orgasym

Big Andy · 12th May 2008, 17:36

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site...

The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, he said "You're in charge of supplies..."

About ten minutes later, he said "Right lads, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."

The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and said...

"Sorry boss, I was in the office making an inventory of stock, and a list of tangible assets, and lost track of time...here's the shovel and the broom...please accept my profuse apologies..."

Dr. Dwayne · 12th May 2008, 17:37

Slugger · 12th May 2008, 18:13

Blonde walks into an electrics store looking to buy a TV...

so she goes over to the assistant who helps her purchase a model suitable for her needs and goes home a satisfied customer.

esmufc07 · 26th September 2008, 23:15

A Irishman man walks into a bar

This is not unusual, as the bar is in Dublin

SiYuan · 26th September 2008, 23:25

Yo mama so fat..

Well she's just fat, alright?

McLovin · 26th September 2008, 23:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedDevil#26655

knock knock

whos there?

giant

ermmm giant who?

giant chicken.

Oh my god! realy? *opens door*

Giant chicken: No, im a giant horse *unzips giant chicken outfit to unviel his horseyness*

Wow a giant horse!!....you know i like horses....i na sexual way *f a p* *fa p* *f ap*

*man wakes up and realises he just went high on coke and just jizzed all over his pet dog who is licking his balls*

"Good dog" says the man

What the fuck

BAMSOLA · 26th September 2008, 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by SiYuan

A bear and rabbit were taking a shit in the forest.
The bear turned to the rabbit.
" Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur"?

And the rabbit said no.

The bear took the rabbit and wiped his ass.

Best of the lot.

12th May 2008, 08:10	#243 (permalink)
anver Shart stop Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Colombo. Sri-Lanka Posts: 1,373	What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays awake and crows all night.

12th May 2008, 09:29	#245 (permalink)
zing Zingle balls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Chennai Posts: 3,889	Two black men are in a car. Who is driving? Could be either one of them.

12th May 2008, 09:37	#247 (permalink)
Vidicious Flop Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Desailly is a God. Posts: 1,641	Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

12th May 2008, 09:39	#248 (permalink)
Roger Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: In a pool of vomit and faeces AKA-Swindon Posts: 1,916	Q What do you call an Irishman with a pigs bladder on a stick? A An Irishman with a pigs bladder on a stick.

12th May 2008, 09:54	#249 (permalink)
Roger Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: In a pool of vomit and faeces AKA-Swindon Posts: 1,916	Q Whats black and walks into Pianos? A: People of all races walk into Pianos. Pianos Restaurant 158 Ludlow St. (Stanton St.) New York, NY 10002 212-505-3733

12th May 2008, 12:23	#252 (permalink)
Wit Tanker Reserve Team Player Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,434	What do you call an Indian driving a bus? Bus driver

12th May 2008, 12:53	#254 (permalink)
Nialler Alex's Dad Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Nyler Posts: 8,782	a bloke walks into a shop and says, "Can I have a loaf of bread please?", the shop assistant replies, "Brown or white?" the bloke says,"Nah your alright, me bikes outside".

12th May 2008, 17:05	#256 (permalink)
Ecroyd Strangely aroused by Lizard King Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: next door Posts: 2,387	what does DNA stand for national dyslexic asociation

12th May 2008, 17:10	#257 (permalink)
Ecroyd Strangely aroused by Lizard King Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: next door Posts: 2,387	what came first the chicken or the egg well it has to have been the egg since evolution states that animals evolve into different species a similar creature to a chicken will have laid an egg with a genetic mutation that when hatched became a chicken, hence3 the egg came first

12th May 2008, 17:14	#258 (permalink)
Ecroyd Strangely aroused by Lizard King Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: next door Posts: 2,387	whats the best part about having sex with 26 year olds the orgasym

12th May 2008, 17:37	#260 (permalink)
Dr. Dwayne self confessed womens pantie wearer Join Date: May 2006 Location: form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Posts: 14,284

12th May 2008, 17:36	#259 (permalink)
Big Andy Yid Bang Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Officially the Best and Funniest Poster 2005 Posts: 27,979	An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site... The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, he said "You're in charge of supplies..." About ten minutes later, he said "Right lads, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and said... "Sorry boss, I was in the office making an inventory of stock, and a list of tangible assets, and lost track of time...here's the shovel and the broom...please accept my profuse apologies..."

12th May 2008, 18:13	#261 (permalink)
Slugger Drag Queen & Town Drunk Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The 'fast Posts: 640	Blonde walks into an electrics store looking to buy a TV... so she goes over to the assistant who helps her purchase a model suitable for her needs and goes home a satisfied customer.

26th September 2008, 23:15	#262 (permalink)
esmufc07 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cobra on my left; Leopard on my right! Posts: 123	A Irishman man walks into a bar This is not unusual, as the bar is in Dublin

26th September 2008, 23:25	#263 (permalink)
SiYuan Cafe Grandmaster 2008 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Where Crouch is a Midget. Posts: 6,899	Yo mama so fat.. Well she's just fat, alright?