Unexpected answers to funny jokes

Steev · 6th February 2008, 00:31

Oh noes! Im A gayer!

Nialler · 6th February 2008, 00:37

Knock knock?

Who's there ?

Phyllis !

Phyllis who ?

Phyllis Lambert.

Steev · 6th February 2008, 00:40

Knock Knock

Who's there?

TV License people! You've got a telly! You owe us!

*hides in toilet for 2 hours*

Hectic · 6th February 2008, 01:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by NWR

Oh fuck off you couple of gaylords.

Come on, you love it you filthy slag!

MclarenMP4 · 6th February 2008, 01:30

Norman & his dog live in a 2nd story flat, each day at 4pm the dog would start barking at the front door of the flat.
Each time the dog would bark, Norman would go & look outside his front door finding no-one was there.
This went on for months & Norman started to worry about the sanity of his poor pet.
He took the dog to the vet & was found to be perfectly healthy.
One day he took his dog for a walk earlier in the afternoon & happened to return at 3.59pm. Well this is where it gets strange.

The dog didn't bark that day.

He concluded that he wasn't giving the dog enough attention & that by taking it out gave the dog the attention it needed. Whether that or it always need a dump at 4pm but anyhoo the situation resolved itself.

olesmyhero · 6th February 2008, 02:19

A rabbi, a shaman and a priest are in a car. Who's driving?

The rabbi. The others already had their turn driving.

cesc's_mullet · 6th February 2008, 13:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hectic

What is worse then finding a fly in your soup?

Gang rape.

UnitedRoadRed · 6th February 2008, 13:35

What's blue and shags old ladies?

Me in my lucky blue coat

Hectic · 6th February 2008, 13:38

What's blue and shags old ladies?

A very cold rapist.

cesc's_mullet · 6th February 2008, 13:38

Two aboriginals are in a car, who's driving?

The policeman. Because once again the Aboriginals were victims of social stigma.

Dr. Dwayne · 6th February 2008, 13:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

Two aboriginals are in a car, who's driving?

The policeman. Because once again the Aboriginals were victims of social stigma.

one of them's a policeman?

tyrone red · 6th February 2008, 13:53

What did Hitler say to his men before they got into their tanks?

Men Get into your tanks.

Honest John · 6th February 2008, 14:09

Man goes in a bar

Funny place to sell fruit

UnitedRoadRed · 6th February 2008, 14:41

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

An unfortunate victim of genome experimentation

Hectic · 6th February 2008, 14:45

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Marcos

Marcos wh......Fuck!

cesc's_mullet · 6th February 2008, 14:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

one of them's a policeman?

I didn't say how many people were in the car... Only that 2 aboriginals where.

Dr. Dwayne · 6th February 2008, 15:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

I didn't say how many people were in the car... Only that 2 aboriginals where.

are you marcos in disguise?

cesc's_mullet · 6th February 2008, 15:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dwayne

are you marcos in disguise?

Bah. 2am, I'm buggered. Largely thanks to work + a hard session on the track for footie training then a good session in the gym.

I blame those reasons.

Dr. Dwayne · 6th February 2008, 15:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by cesc's_mullet

Bah. 2am, I'm buggered. Largely thanks to work + a hard session on the track for footie training then a good session in the gym.

I blame those reasons.

s'allright. I'm just fucking with you. cheers.

UnitedRoadRed · 6th February 2008, 15:30

Why do birds fly south for winter?

Many birds migrate or fly south for the winter because of temperature changes. Cold, snowy winters can create a real health hazard for them, as does the lack of food. So when the days grow shorter and colder, birds set off for their warmer winter home.

RedDevil#26655 · 6th February 2008, 18:46

knock knock

whos there?

giant

ermmm giant who?

giant chicken.

Oh my god! realy? *opens door*

Giant chicken: No, im a giant horse *unzips giant chicken outfit to unviel his horseyness*

Wow a giant horse!!....you know i like horses....i na sexual way *f a p* *fa p* *f ap*

*man wakes up and realises he just went high on coke and just jizzed all over his pet dog who is licking his balls*

"Good dog" says the man

sully07 · 6th February 2008, 19:01

I went out with a redhead last night.

No hair, just a red head.

But her fantastic personality more than made up for her appearance due to her alopicia and high blood pressure.

Wonder Pigeon · 6th February 2008, 19:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedDevil#26655

knock knock

whos there?

giant

ermmm giant who?

giant chicken.

Oh my god! realy? *opens door*

Giant chicken: No, im a giant horse *unzips giant chicken outfit to unviel his horseyness*

Wow a giant horse!!....you know i like horses....i na sexual way *f a p* *fa p* *f ap*

*man wakes up and realises he just went high on coke and just jizzed all over his pet dog who is licking his balls*

"Good dog" says the man

....right.

Ivor Ballokov · 6th February 2008, 19:15

what's the difference between pope john paul and madeline mccann?

one is a deceased religious leader and the other is a missing child who has been at the centre of a worldwide hunt although after all this time it is growning more likely that she has suffered a terrible fate.

cesc's_mullet · 7th February 2008, 04:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedDevil#26655

knock knock

whos there?

giant

ermmm giant who?

giant chicken.

Oh my god! realy? *opens door*

Giant chicken: No, im a giant horse *unzips giant chicken outfit to unviel his horseyness*

Wow a giant horse!!....you know i like horses....i na sexual way *f a p* *fa p* *f ap*

*man wakes up and realises he just went high on coke and just jizzed all over his pet dog who is licking his balls*

"Good dog" says the man

Jesus Christ.

You're an extremely poor mans EsadaYaga or however you spell his name.

cesc's_mullet · 7th February 2008, 04:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ivor Ballokov

what's the difference between pope john paul and madeline mccann?

one is a deceased religious leader and the other is a missing child who has been at the centre of a worldwide hunt although after all this time it is growning more likely that she has suffered a terrible fate.

sammymc · 7th February 2008, 09:52

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?

quickly pull the plug out to drain the water away, thus greatly reducing the likelihood of drowning, also it might be best to take a firm grip of the head if it is an especially violent fit as they could easily bang their head on the sides of the bath which could injure them severely.

Rahul · 7th February 2008, 09:58

A horse walks into a bar and the barmen asks "why the long face"

The horse replies " Well my good sir, due to my genetic DNA structure my face is formed in this shape, one shandy please"

Rahul · 7th February 2008, 10:02

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub

And the whole scene unfolds, with a humerous inevitability..

UnitedRoadRed · 7th February 2008, 11:28

What do you call a fly with no wings?

An insect severely limited in its mobility by either an unfortunate genetic defect or a victim of a mindless prank of the juvenile variety.

Tyeza · 7th February 2008, 11:37

A scot walks into a bar.....

Ya fockin bastad! Scues me mate, av you any ice, jost smacked me fockin ed!

6th February 2008, 00:31	#161 (permalink)
Steev Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: off the grid Posts: 2,169	Oh noes! Im A gayer!

6th February 2008, 00:37	#162 (permalink)
Nialler Alex's Dad Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Nyler Posts: 8,786	Knock knock? Who's there ? Phyllis ! Phyllis who ? Phyllis Lambert.

6th February 2008, 00:40	#163 (permalink)
Steev Reserve Team Player Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: off the grid Posts: 2,169	Knock Knock Who's there? TV License people! You've got a telly! You owe us! hides in toilet for 2 hours

6th February 2008, 01:30	#165 (permalink)
MclarenMP4 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 692	Norman & his dog live in a 2nd story flat, each day at 4pm the dog would start barking at the front door of the flat. Each time the dog would bark, Norman would go & look outside his front door finding no-one was there. This went on for months & Norman started to worry about the sanity of his poor pet. He took the dog to the vet & was found to be perfectly healthy. One day he took his dog for a walk earlier in the afternoon & happened to return at 3.59pm. Well this is where it gets strange. The dog didn't bark that day. He concluded that he wasn't giving the dog enough attention & that by taking it out gave the dog the attention it needed. Whether that or it always need a dump at 4pm but anyhoo the situation resolved itself.

6th February 2008, 02:19	#166 (permalink)
olesmyhero has a lazy eye...japs eye Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 4000+ miles west of old trafford Posts: 10,080	A rabbi, a shaman and a priest are in a car. Who's driving? The rabbi. The others already had their turn driving.

6th February 2008, 13:35	#168 (permalink)
UnitedRoadRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,970	What's blue and shags old ladies? Me in my lucky blue coat

6th February 2008, 13:38	#169 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,331	What's blue and shags old ladies? A very cold rapist.

6th February 2008, 13:38	#170 (permalink)
cesc's_mullet Get a haircut Hippy! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: he's crazy like a moose, aussie, aussie GUUS Posts: 6,731	Two aboriginals are in a car, who's driving? The policeman. Because once again the Aboriginals were victims of social stigma.

6th February 2008, 13:53	#172 (permalink)
tyrone red Youth Team Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Co Tyrone Posts: 295	What did Hitler say to his men before they got into their tanks? Men Get into your tanks.

6th February 2008, 14:09	#173 (permalink)
Honest John First Team Sub Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Upwardly bound Project Manager Posts: 5,364	Man goes in a bar Funny place to sell fruit

6th February 2008, 14:41	#174 (permalink)
UnitedRoadRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,970	What do you call a sheep with no legs? An unfortunate victim of genome experimentation

6th February 2008, 14:45	#175 (permalink)
Hectic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Created by two, felt by millions - T.I.O.T.R Posts: 21,331	Knock Knock Who's there? Marcos Marcos wh......Fuck!

6th February 2008, 15:30	#180 (permalink)
UnitedRoadRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,970	Why do birds fly south for winter? Many birds migrate or fly south for the winter because of temperature changes. Cold, snowy winters can create a real health hazard for them, as does the lack of food. So when the days grow shorter and colder, birds set off for their warmer winter home.

6th February 2008, 18:46	#181 (permalink)
RedDevil#26655 52 Years Young Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: I'm not telling you where I live iguanamanc.....rapist Posts: 2,733	knock knock whos there? giant ermmm giant who? giant chicken. Oh my god! realy? opens door Giant chicken: No, im a giant horse unzips giant chicken outfit to unviel his horseyness Wow a giant horse!!....you know i like horses....i na sexual way f a p fa p f ap man wakes up and realises he just went high on coke and just jizzed all over his pet dog who is licking his balls "Good dog" says the man

6th February 2008, 19:01	#182 (permalink)
sully07 Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Limbo Posts: 1,289	I went out with a redhead last night. No hair, just a red head. But her fantastic personality more than made up for her appearance due to her alopicia and high blood pressure.

6th February 2008, 19:15	#184 (permalink)
Ivor Ballokov Reserve Team Player Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: old south wales Posts: 2,852	what's the difference between pope john paul and madeline mccann? one is a deceased religious leader and the other is a missing child who has been at the centre of a worldwide hunt although after all this time it is growning more likely that she has suffered a terrible fate.

7th February 2008, 09:52	#187 (permalink)
sammymc Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,021	What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? quickly pull the plug out to drain the water away, thus greatly reducing the likelihood of drowning, also it might be best to take a firm grip of the head if it is an especially violent fit as they could easily bang their head on the sides of the bath which could injure them severely.

7th February 2008, 09:58	#188 (permalink)
Rahul Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Hunting The Hunter ! Posts: 4,733	A horse walks into a bar and the barmen asks "why the long face" The horse replies " Well my good sir, due to my genetic DNA structure my face is formed in this shape, one shandy please"

7th February 2008, 10:02	#189 (permalink)
Rahul Reserve Team Player Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Hunting The Hunter ! Posts: 4,733	An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub And the whole scene unfolds, with a humerous inevitability..

7th February 2008, 11:28	#190 (permalink)
UnitedRoadRed Reserve Team Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,970	What do you call a fly with no wings? An insect severely limited in its mobility by either an unfortunate genetic defect or a victim of a mindless prank of the juvenile variety.

7th February 2008, 11:37	#191 (permalink)
Tyeza Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Colchester Obsession: Breast&Minge Hates: Other willies! Posts: 1,923	A scot walks into a bar..... Ya fockin bastad! Scues me mate, av you any ice, jost smacked me fockin ed!