Max Head Roo - 10 Things I Notcied (Milan vs United)

Discussion in 'Manchester United Forum' started by Mockney, Feb 17, 2010.

  1. Feb 17, 2010
    #1

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    10 Things I noticed from United's 3-2 Win in the San Siro - And don't forget to help me pay my heating bill by clicking on the link, it gets cold in the winter (I know, whore)

    Max Head Roo - 10 Things I noticed from AC Milan vs Man Utd | FootballFanCast.com

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    1. There's No Business Like Show Business - If I told you I had just watched a 5 goal thriller between two of the world's most famous and prestigious clubs in which 3 of the most talented players of the last 10 years had scored, you'd be forgiven for thinking I'd just been watching a sumptuous feast of footballing brilliance to make the Gods themselves weep in euphoria. I would however, have to forgive you quite humbly because what I actually witnessed was one of the most bizarre games of top-level football I've seen in a long long time. For the first half AC Milan seemed to be pioneering a new brand of tactical football, one which involved having all their players in either the first or final third of the pitch and none what so ever in the middle. Manchester United obviously felt a bit bad about this and so helpfully acted as the Rossoneri's creative midfield themselves and passed it to 'not so little anymore' Ronaldo and co at every available opportunity. Jonny Evans in particular seemed to be struggling quite hard with the concept of playing against a team in red but thankfully for him Milan seemed to be struggling with the onset of aged dementia and forgot where the goal was. With United given the entire midfield area to play badly in on their own and Milan given the freedom of United's penalty box to not score in, it somehow conspired to end 1-1 at half time and then the second half was completely different.

    2. And Which Is More, You'll Be a Man, My Son - If "stepping up" could be measured tangibly, and not just in the opinionated minds of self important pundits, fans and blog writers, scoring two goals in a European Cup knock out victory against AC Milan at the San Siro would probably be as close as you could get. The amount of times I've watched Manchester United labor in attack this season and thought "Ronaldo would've done that" is quite embarrassingly often. However Wayne Rooney continued his ascent into greatness by doing what truly world class players (or worldies, as Graeme Souness imitating a 6 year old called them on Sky) do. He's scored twice against Milan before, but this was a different occasion. This was an occasion when he was the main man leading the charge away from home, and behaved like it. Ballon D'or's and the like are won on the back of things like this. It's all steps in the right direction for the already glittering career of El Blanco Pele.

    3. I Want My M(u)TV - One of the interesting things about European football is that you have to rely on television feeds from whatever country is hosting the game. This often provides a fascinating insight into the televisual sporting appetites of the country in question. What I've learned from watching Italian football coverage over the years is how much Italians love slow motion. Slow motion of anything at all. A manager's frustrated gesticulations or a player's wink to a teammate, nothing is too banal or insignificant to be captured in glorious slow motion and replayed at a gloriously pointless point in the game. Also, this being Italy, lots of slow motion footage of tackles are a necessity.

    4. All The Better To See You With - I've been to the San Siro and it annoyed me then. And it continues to be one of those niggly annoyances that inexplicably infuriate me to this day every time I watch the Rossoneri or Nerazzurri play. What benefit can there possibly be to having your manager sat in a hole in the ground 3 feet below the pitch? I mean seriously? That can't help, no matter how comfy a seat you give him. Surely all they can see are ankles running about at various different stages of depth perception. Like watching highlights from Highbury from under your sofa. Surely the better the view of the pitch you get the better? This might help to explain why Leonardo didn't feel he needed to play a midfield, but I'm not sure how.

    5. If You, Just, Smile - I can't help but like Ronaldinho. He just seems to have the right perspective when it comes to football. It's a game. He messed about during the line ups, messed about during that weird handshaking bit that always seems a little unnecessary, he messed about on the pitch, and, clearly, didn't have a care in the world about what was happening on it when it wasn't his turn to do something. At times he was glorious and at other times he wasn't, but he always seemed grounded in the notion that he was kicking a rubber balloon around some grass for hundreds of thousands of pounds. If he played on my team it'd be infuriating as "tracking back" seems to have disappeared from his vocabulary along with "no thanks I'm not hungry", but still, it's a much more likeable attitude than the "psych yourself up by looking incredibly serious in the tunnel and during the silly handshaking bit" approach. You're kicking a rubber balloon around some grass for hundreds of thousands of pounds for goodness sake, he's got the right idea, and he's much better at it than you.

    6. Wolverine - The famous hair of David Beckham seems to have slipped down his face slightly. I know your body's supposed to succumb to gravity the older you get but I wasn't aware this applied to hair. But then again, Becks always was an innovator. At least his balls still look good.

    7. Great Expectations pt 1 - After an impressive run of recent form Nani returned to his previous incarnation. The one who's only visibly a talented player once every 38 minutes or so. Since he was substituted on 64 minutes, he only showed this once, but I can't remember when it was.

    8. Great Expectations pt 2 - Poor old Pippo Inzaghi. Another sign of an aging legend creaking out his time at the San Siro. I thought he'd at least give us something, I'd told all my friends he would, the stage seemed to be set for him to bolster his already fearsome reputation, but alas, in the 24 minutes he was on the field of play, he failed to be flagged offside once.

    9. Light up, Light up - It could have just been me, in fact it most probably was, but I could have sworn it seemed to get lighter as the game went on. Ronaldinho's goal seemed to be scored under elaborate floodlighting, yet Rooney's second at a fairly unremarkable dusk. Maybe I'm going completely mad. I hope not, it wasn't fun last time.

    10. Mad World - The game finished, fittingly for such an odd, topsy turvy contest, in complete mayhem. Milan suddenly decided they were going to start playing again, after disappearing completely during the second half. United suddenly decided to get nervous again despite being in complete control of the match for the previous half an hour, after themselves being mostly woeful during the first half. Clarence Seedorf, the 33 year old stalwart midfielder, scored the goal of the night with a delightful back heel, despite it being a ridiculous time and place to try such a thing and thus trumping his more celebrated fellow goal scorers Rooney, Ronaldinho and Scholes (though if he can manage to persuade anyone he meant to score with his standing leg he'd surely win goal of the season). The referee failed to convey, or even decide how much stoppage time to add, at least not to anyone in charge of an electronic board or television station, so we were left in complete limbo after 90 minutes had elapsed and Michael Carrick got sent off for time wasting despite the referee then blowing his whistle almost immediately after he'd carded him, rendering the purpose of his carding completely useless. None of it made any sense but then again neither did anything in this ridiculously entertaining, ridiculous match.

    You can find more ramblings from under my sofa here; Oscar Pye-Jeary | FootballFanCast.com and here; Mockney’s 10 Things RedCafe.net Blog
  2. Feb 17, 2010
    #2

    Xander45 Know-It-All Champion May 2009

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    Good man Mockney, if any match deserved to have one of these it was that one.

    Quality stuff.
  3. Feb 17, 2010
    #3

    Name Changed weso26

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    Great read as per usual.
  4. Feb 17, 2010
    #4

    Rado_N Grinner ruined my tagline

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    :lol: Some quality observations there as usual
  5. Feb 17, 2010
    #5

    slaparse Banned

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    Good write up of a very peculiar night. Thanks.
  6. Feb 17, 2010
    #6

    Sir A1ex Full Member

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    I only noticed one thing all night... that bit of string dangling down in front of the camera covering the left end of the pitch. Write something funny about that, funny man.

    Top post, as usual Mockney!
  7. Feb 17, 2010
    #7

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    hmmm...I did notice that the cameraman unhelpfully kept positioning the camera so that the person with the ball was almost always just out of shot, but I wasn't sure if this was my TV acting up or actually happening. He was also far too slow in reacting to quick shots or cross field balls and ended up having to whip the camera around quickly, thus making what was actually happening impossible to determine
  8. Feb 17, 2010
    #8

    kikks Full Member

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    Nice read as usual, Mockney. I'm currently smirking my way through your back-catalog of articles on that site. Good stuff! This will help me procrastinate for at least an hour
  9. Feb 17, 2010
    #9

    Ramshock Full Member

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    great read, shitty title though lol
  10. Feb 17, 2010
    #10

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    [​IMG]
  11. Feb 17, 2010
    #11

    utdalltheway Sexy Beast

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    good stuff as usual Mockney.
  12. Feb 17, 2010
    #12

    Tumbling-Dice Caf Nostradamus

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    Jeez, tha pic makes me feel old.

    This is how I remember him.

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    Excellent stuff as always Mockney, thank you.
  13. Feb 17, 2010
    #13

    Dwazza Van Hernandez A Special Kind of Hipster

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    Nicely done, Mockney. Your prose is much more effective when I can't notice any spelling errors.
  14. Feb 17, 2010
    #14

    Sir A1ex Full Member

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    :lol: Max has aged!
  15. Feb 17, 2010
    #15

    Bread Full Member

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    Isnt that David Sullivan?
  16. Feb 17, 2010
    #16

    Ivor Ballokov Full Member

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    I've now heard Seedorf labelled as 33, 34 & 35 (the latter two both by SSN) is this how he manages to stay so evergreen?

    Nice read though Mockney especially the Inzaghi mention. Didn't hear Souness say 'worldies' though which annoys me as I thought he actually talked a lot of sense last night, for once.
  17. Feb 17, 2010
    #17

    Sir A1ex Full Member

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    I did. He remains a fool.
  18. Feb 17, 2010
    #18

    Snow Somewhere down the lane, a licky boom boom down

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    Good read, agree with the Inzaghi mention. Didn't ponder much on him last night but you're right. He never was offside. Not once!

    I was very relieved to see Seedorf on the bench to begin with and nervous when they put him on. Glad he didn't start. He's so great that you forget his first name is Clarence.
  19. Feb 17, 2010
    #19

    Ramshock Full Member

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    lol feck sake i know who max headroom was i just thought it was a bit of a stretch ...settle petal
  20. Feb 17, 2010
    #20

    Red Pavan shittest username ever manutddabest791

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    Good read as always, but that is a fantastic pic.
  21. Feb 17, 2010
    #21

    Sir A1ex Full Member

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    I thought it was very clever (within the bonds of tabloid headlines) myself.
  22. Feb 17, 2010
    #22

    Stretch Full Member

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    Feck, thought it was just my TV. It was fecking annoying.
  23. Feb 17, 2010
    #23

    Northstand Full Member

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    Very good read as usual. Particularly liked the way you snuck in the "no thanks I'm not hungry" phrase for Ronaldinho. :lol:
  24. Feb 17, 2010
    #24

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    No shit? I was sure I had it stuck on widescreen or something?...I wish I'd known it was a problem for all, I could've ranted about that for ages. Rooney's free kick in the second half for example, was ridiculous, since you couldn't see Rooney run up, and barely even see the ball.
  25. Feb 17, 2010
    #25

    TonyMontana Banned

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    ...
  26. Feb 17, 2010
    #26

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    He was shit in that game, your point is?
  27. Feb 17, 2010
    #27

    Nani Nana Full Member

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    I have no trouble admitting Rooney was average for the best part of the first half of the season, loosely before he asked for a wage hike. Now even if Mockney looked stupid with that point, as you see it's one point amid the hundreds he came up with since he subscribed here. you on the other hand are probably the most disastrous poster on this forum

    i just reported your post and hope the mods will stretch their scope and measure what posters like you are worth on the long term
  28. Feb 17, 2010
    #28

    TonyMontana Banned

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    You didn't say that exactly.

    "An obvious and very lazy observation (but I'm feeling very lazy today..for a change) is that Wayne Rooney isn't stepping up"

    It is a lazy observation, lazy and stupid observation.
  29. Feb 17, 2010
    #29

    TonyMontana Banned

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    "internet. serious business"
  30. Feb 17, 2010
    #30

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    He wasn't stepping up at the time in my opinion. He has now, spectacularly,, still doesn't change my opinion that he was struggling for form during the first third of the season, regardless of his goal tally. Plus of course, they're piss take articles


    V

    Clearly

    Nana, don't mate, I'd actually welcome some argument or discussion, it's better than a page of "well done Mockney's" really. But cheers for the back up blurd init
  31. Feb 17, 2010
    #31

    TonyMontana Banned

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    You said he was "getting old".
  32. Feb 17, 2010
    #32

    Mockney Not the only poster to be named Poster of the Year

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    Are you his mum or something? He is getting old, he's lost all his hair by 24, he's not getting any younger is he?
  33. Feb 18, 2010
    #33

    kiristao Full Member

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    Very nice read. Amongst your better ones.
  34. Feb 18, 2010
    #34

    beardsleybob Full Member

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    It's lonely at the top Mockney :p

    number 8 was kinda pointless, seeing as when Inzaghi came on he barely touched the ball as Milan decided to crowd the box with defenders getting more shots than Pippo
  35. Feb 18, 2010
    #35

    Suedesi Full Member

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    Rooney, great player but the press are over-hyping him like crazy. Best player in the world and all that. I understand it's a world cup year and everything, but it's started way too early. It's not going to be pretty when inevitably this purple patch ends...
  36. Feb 18, 2010
    #36

    Tumbling-Dice Caf Nostradamus

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    Whoosh !
  37. Feb 18, 2010
    #37

    Denis' cuff Full Member

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    I reckon Inzaghi didn't stray offside just to spite ("Inzaghi was born offside") Fergie - in fact, I think he was more focussed on that than scoring goals.
  38. Feb 18, 2010
    #38

    Cling Bak Hi, I'm Barry Scott

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    :eek:

    I had to Wiki that to make sure that was right. He's been around forever and for some reason thought he had at least 3 years on top of that.

    Good read, btw.
  39. Feb 18, 2010
    #39

    Nani Nana Full Member

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    i'd be inclined to agree, especially with anxious teenagers subscribing on forums with usernames of imaginary muggers to toughen their e-persona, polluting people's threads with pointless references simply because they're jealous of their e-awards.
  40. Feb 18, 2010
    #40

    Dyslexic Untied Full Member

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    I like the extended slow motions.

    PL broadcast very often don't show pieces of skill and good tackles in replay.

    Being an ex-defender myself the latter is appreciated.

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