Not the Saviours of Liverpool: The Brendan and Slippy Thread

Discussion in 'Football Forum' started by SteveJ, Jul 6, 2018.

  1. Jul 6, 2018
    #1

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    This coming season sees the beginning of a new chapter in football history, a clash of titans, a battle of the ages, and even more hyperbole. Yes, this summer heralds the start of Rodgers versus Gerrard, and never mind all that 'Old Firm' shite. I present to you the Tale Of The Tape:

    GERRARD

    [​IMG]
    Gerrard tries to attract Alonso

    Height: Who cares?
    Age: 156
    Titles: Mr


    BREN (and Stimpy)

    [​IMG]

    Brendan, with ear wax

    Height: 1 foot 1
    Age: Stone
    Titles: More than Gerrard


    The war of words between the two former colleagues started a while ago, with Stevie G miraculously sounding more big-headed and bolshy than Brendan could even dream of, while Celtic's king of bling has opted for the 'You're in for a bloody big shock, you cheeky bastid. By the feckin' way, my missus Semolina left me after The Demba Disaster...' approach:
    It promises to be a melodramatic season of Gerrard hilariously trying to appear important by posing on the touchline while wearing a club tie that makes him look like he works for Tesco, as Brendan glares at him like Emperor Ming scrutinising his bank charges. I'll keep you all posted about intergalactic Derby clashes, their laughable soundbites etc etc because I have too much time on my hands, have no life, am punching above my weight & other Cafisms.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2018
  2. Jul 6, 2018
    #2

    Pexbo has never watched Star Wars

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    Peak SteveJ :lol:
  3. Jul 6, 2018
    #3

    Joga Bonito Full Member

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    :lol:
  4. Jul 6, 2018
    #4

    arthurka Full Member

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    :lol::lol:
  5. Jul 6, 2018
    #5

    Chesterlestreet Man of the crowd

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    :lol:
  6. Jul 6, 2018
    #6

    Big Chomp New Member

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    I'm a Liverpool fan but this is hilarious ,star fish wars
  7. Jul 6, 2018
    #7

    Ish Lights on for Luke

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  8. Jul 6, 2018
    #8

    Random Task Correctly predicted France to win World Cup 2018

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    This thread shows promise.
  9. Jul 6, 2018
    #9

    clarkydaz Full Member

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    You have an unhealthy obsession with Brendan Rodgers :lol:
  10. Jul 6, 2018
    #10

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    Nonsense!
    *stands in front of Brendan shrine*
  11. Jul 7, 2018
    #11

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    The first mighty blow has been struck...

    [​IMG]

    Steven Gerrard™ (also featuring Rangers FC) - 6
    Bury - 0

    How glamorous.

    [​IMG]
    Gimme a break...
  12. Jul 7, 2018
    #12

    Minimalist New Member

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    You know, when Gerrard shanks Rodgers (post heavy defeat in six months time) and is awaiting his court decision, this humorous opening page will be a good palate cleanser.
  13. Jul 7, 2018
    #13

    rasta4eye New Member

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    Amadeus...!

    :lol: using that one
  14. Jul 9, 2018
    #14

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    Credit's coming home...
    Hail Brendo (and Hendo).
  15. Jul 9, 2018
    #15

    Cascarino Full Member

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    :lol:
  16. Jul 9, 2018
    #16

    Kostur Full Member

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    :lol:
  17. Jul 9, 2018
    #17

    The Mitcher connoisseur of pot noodles and sandwiches

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    Slip me Amadeus!
  18. Jul 12, 2018
    #18

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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  19. Aug 7, 2018
    #19

    DavidDeSchmikes Full Member

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    Conspiracy and Dmitri Kharine

    [​IMG]
    Stevie Mac-Me

    Rangers title ambitions were dealt a blow following a 1-1 draw against Aberdeen. Bruce Anderson's goal in Fergie time for Aberdeen has left Rangers an entire two points behind Celtic. At his address to the journalists, Steven Amadeus Gerrard went against stereotype and blamed the referee and stated that the 'the world was against Rangers'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...attack-referees-Alfredo-Morelos-sees-red.html


    Alex Jones Steven Gerrard did not provide examples a la Rafa Benitez's 'fact' rant, but he is not the first Rangers manager to question the 'quality' of Scottish referees. Pedro Caixinha complied an encyclopedia of refereeing decisions against Rangers (which is now used as a doorstop in Gerrard's office), Alex McLeish believed Celtic (through their 3rd choice goalkeeper Dmitri Kharine) colluded with Russia to influence the referee and interfere in the 2000/01 season (which saw Celtic win the treble).

    [​IMG]
    Bren of Heaven

    As Steven Gerrard bemoaned the injustices of the cruel SPL, Brendan Rodgers saw his side overcome Livingston 3-1. The game was over as a contest after Celtic scored within 8 minutes. Rodgers (aiming for a 15th league title in the row) was surprised by his young apprentice's comments.
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2018
  20. Aug 7, 2018
    #20

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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  21. Aug 8, 2018
    #21

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    BR EXIT

    [​IMG]

    Brendan: visibly unhappy

    McBrendan moans about Celtic's lack of transfer activity, in a very McBrendan style:
  22. Aug 8, 2018
    #22

    Reynoldo Full Member

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    :lol: at all this
  23. Aug 8, 2018
    #23

    Random Task Correctly predicted France to win World Cup 2018

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    That pic of Prophet Brenda the False is comedy gold.
  24. Aug 8, 2018
    #24

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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  25. Aug 8, 2018
    #25

    Joga Bonito Full Member

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    :lol:
  26. Aug 8, 2018
    #26

    Revaulx Full Member

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    This is wonderful. Has really cheered me up in a slough of Jose, Trump, the Board, cancer, Pogba etc etc.
  27. Aug 9, 2018
    #27

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    Gerrard returns as Celtic retain Title
  28. Aug 9, 2018
    #28

    dr.twinny Full Member

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    I fecks with the future
    :lol:
  29. Aug 9, 2018
    #29

    DavidDeSchmikes Full Member

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    :lol:
  30. Aug 9, 2018
    #30

    Minimalist New Member

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  31. Aug 9, 2018
    #31

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    STEVEN GERRARD has told Alfredo Morelos to channel his ‘fighting spirit’ – just like he did.

    The Rangers striker was shown a red card for kicking out at Scott McKenna in Sunday’s draw with FC Angel Delight.

    Interviewed on Britain's Deadliest Managers in order to promote new short film Gone in 38 Seconds, Gerrard said: “He’s very young and I’ve been there myself when you have to channel that fighting spirit in the right way. "

    [​IMG]
    "You can't send me off - I'm Steven Amadeus Gerrard!"

    THE CURSE OF GERRARD
    Meanwhile, the former Community Shield winner rubbished any notions of the 'Curse of Gerrard', after rival boss Brendan Rodgers used his press conference on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to sow doubts about Gerrard's prospects of success.

    "Look at the fachts," Rodgers said while clutching a large sheet of paper, "Liverpool FC - no PL title since Stevie was born; Houllier and Benitez - failed; Hodgson - working in a lap dance club; Phil Collins - now supporting Adam and the Ants, with Roy Evans on bass. All these people saw their fortunes nosedive after association with Amadeus Gerrard. And Rangers are what we in the football industry call 'shit' and he's not a magician like the Great Gatsby. But he's already under massive pressure so I don't want to unsettle him and I hope he laughs maniacally at this whole 'Curse' business."

    Gerrard reportedly contacted witch doctors directly after the conference.
  32. Aug 9, 2018
    #32

    arthurka Full Member

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    Loving this.
  33. Aug 9, 2018
    #33

    Denis' cuff Full Member

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    “The former Community Shield winner....”

    :lol:
  34. Aug 14, 2018
    #34

    DavidDeSchmikes Full Member

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    Bren-exit cancelled
    [​IMG]
    A Jolly Rodger(s)

    The Rodgers Revolution at Celtic will continue! Suggestions that Rodgers would quit Celtic were quashed by the man himself.
    A Rangers fan by the name of Mr S DarreG, believes that Brendan Rodgers is under pressure
    [fake mustache falls off]

    http://www.skysports.com/football/n...s-denies-rumours-he-is-ready-to-quit-the-club
  35. Aug 15, 2018
    #35

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    [​IMG]

    I
    t's been a crap week for Brendan Rodders and his band of Celtic brothers: first, a defeat to Hearts, and now losing to FC Kardashian in the Champions League Paint Trophy. Brendan responded on his latest trip from the stars to adversity as only Brendan can...with nonsense:
    "I always say you shouldn’t have to lose to learn. But when you do lose you have to learn." This week's fiancë has reportedly packed her Hermes bags.

    Over at the Rangers Theme Park and Petting Zoo, Amadeus Gerrard plans to unveil himself as Rangers manager for the second time in celebration of being higher than Brendan/Celtic in the league table. The weekend's stunning victory over one-man Lego Athletic was achieved despite the handicap of Gerrard's inflating head gradually blocking out the sun. His team take on Space Raiders Town this Saturday, followed by bingo and laps of honour.
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2018
  36. Sep 2, 2018
    #36

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    [​IMG]

    It's the first of 793 Old Firm derbies of the season today, so let's hear from household names Brendan Domestos & Fairy Liquid Gerrard:
    :lol:
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018
  37. Sep 2, 2018
    #37

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    "It was definitely a foul," said this week's Rangers manager Steven Fecktard, "I didn't see it but it was definitely a foul. Anyway, congratulations to the suntanned shortarse."
  38. Sep 2, 2018
    #38

    DavidDeSchmikes Full Member

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    LAnakin Slipwalker vs Obi Bren Kenobi
    [​IMG]
    Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
    Ooh yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now


    In a game billed as 'Apprentice v Master', it was the Master (McMaster Brendan MacRodgers) who came out on top with a 1-0 hammering.
    For Rangers the 'how am I doing boss' memes will have to be shelved for the next Old Firm game, as Steven Gerrard FC suffered their his first defeat in 13 games, as Celtic won their 50th Old Firm derby in a row. It was a bittersweet defeat for Stevie MacMe, bitter because they lost, sweet because they weren't hammered.

    After the game, Gerrard rebuked a journalist for questioning his tactics with

    [​IMG]
    Obi Bren Kenobi

  39. Sep 2, 2018
    #39

    SteveJ all-round nice guy, aka Uncle Joe Kardashian Scout

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    :lol:
  40. Sep 2, 2018
    #40

    Jim Beam Full Member

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