Hi guys, throughout the season we get a lot of people asking about Old Trafford, so I thought I could make a threat that could be stickied that gives newbies all they need to know. Places to visit around the ground. Why not commemorate your first trip to Old Trafford by getting a picture next to some famous Manchester landmarks. RedCafe - Named after the leading Manchester United forum, Old Trafford has its very own restaurant. Owned by Niall, the cafe is supposed to give you a representation of posting on here... but in real life! The restaurant is busy, waiters shout orders at you in a rude manner and recently there has been an influx of new chefs who literally serve up any old shite. Don't forget to tip well - you might even find a little surprise in your handbag at the end of your visit! The Holy Trinity - Make a pilgrimage down to the statue of the holy trinity. I've personally never really got why this statue is here, United and religion don't necessarily mix. And really only the one on the left looks anything like Jesus. Either way come on a match day and get a quiet, personal and reflective picture along with thousands of others who choose here to congregate. Megastore - Spacious and relaxing, why not visit the Megastore to get away from the stresses of match day. Don't just look at the kits, why not try to purchase a Daily Blind bobblehead or a signed photo of the Old Trafford groundsmen? There's plenty of amazing deals to be had. NOTE: Please note, if you buy anything from the megastore you will have to leave your bag outside the ground for security reasons. But don't worry, this will be returned to you within a prompt three or four hours after kick off. Local Slang: People in Manchester have their own fantastic vocabulary that you will hear around Old Trafford. Why not try and join in? Mint - You might expect mint to be a flavour of club bar! Not in Manchester. Mint means something that is very good. How to use - 'That was a mint substitution Jose mate' Dinner - Dinner is not served at half seven up north! Dinner actually means lunch time in Manchester. Cause confusion on your train back home by asking what people had for dinner! You'll feel proper Manc correcting them. How to use - 'I had a lovely chip barm for dinner' You useless cnut - Apparently people outside of Manchester call him Phil Jones. Up here, he's affectionately known at the ground as you useless cnut. People shout it out to him wherever you are sitting. How to use - 'What was that you useless cnut? Where to sit: Do you want an exciting atmosphere full of chanting and fans buzzing to be at one of the greatest football teams in the world? Well you'll probably want a different ground. But if you want a place to moan and sit silently, then Old Trafford has you covered. Family Stand - The home of the Manchester United family. People try desperately hard to get these seats just above the players' tunnel because this is where you really feel part of the Old Trafford community. To fit in here, buy a programme and magazine for 7.00 and enjoy a 6.00 Devils Pie at half time. South Stand - If you literally want to mimic the mood and atmosphere of a funeral, this is the stand for you. These seats are expensive but relatively easy to acquire as half of this stand suffer a heart attack/stroke throughout the season due to their age. Stretford End - The real hardcore United fans. Full of songs (after we score a goal or just as the game starts) and hardcore hooligans. To fit in here you need to make sure you stand out. Purchase a half/half scarf to show you love United or try a Fellaini wig if you really want to show off your humorous personality. I'll be adding to this throughout the season. Please add your own ideas for fans enjoying their first United experience!