The amount of scenes I've seen happen with weirdos, drunks and hobo's on public transport lately is astounding. They all seem to concentrate on the bloody London Underground too. You lot got any funny stories. I'll share a few (no guarantees that they'll be funny/entertaining/worth reading): Was on a bus on my way back to Uni a few days ago and a really obese (I mean that in the nicest possible way, but this woman was the size of a small aircraft) got on with her boyfriend/husband. At the next stop a really drunk, greasy, old Irish man stumbled on, looked at this woman in amazement and said in a completely conversation (albeit in a drunk Irish accent): 'Wow love, you've done well to fit in one seat there!'. I was nearly dying from trying to stifle my laughter as her partner got irate at this drunkard and threatened him. Another time I was on the last tube train of the night at the end of a carriage (so I only had a door on one side of me) and these 2 woman sat in between me and the door. One stop away from where I needed to get off and one of the woman was violently sick all over the floor. Now when I say sick, I mean SICK. Everywhere. It all started running down the carriage towards me and she was still puking. It was almost a river travelling down towards me and there very few 'islands' of sick-free floor left. I turned into an Olympic triple jumper and vaulted this swimming pool of puke (all the while avoiding the fountain of puke still spewing from this poor womans mouth). As I walked out of the doors she looked up at me, almost apologetically, and then spewed everywhere again. The smell was fucking horrific. Final story was today (and it's what prompted me to make this thread). I jumped on a tube train just as the doors were closing to be confronted by the worst smell of rotting garbage ever known - I'd gone and chosen the carriage with the stinky hobo in, hadn't I. He'd rippen open the seems of his coat and stuffed it full of whatever garbage he could find, and left it to fester in there I presume. The train was pretty full and this man absolutely stunk. At one of the stations on the way, he spotted a discarded bottle of a kids juice drink on the floor and jumped headfirst into the crowd of people entering the carriage to get to it, causing a domino effect of people falling out of the doorway and onto the carriage. He lay on the floor clutching this bottle for a second, with all the garbage in his coat spilled out onto the floor and a suspicious liquid pouring from it too. At that point I had to leave, the smell was overpowering. I wonder how he managed to get on the train in the first place. Thinking back though, it was probably just Ciderman. So yeah, those are my stories that I can remember. You guys probably have much better ones that mine - share them!