Mourinho to United | Officially Announced

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Ludens the Red

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On the same hysterical, pantomime fan-scale of judgement that also deems 53 year old father of two, and sometime professional football manager Jose Mourinho a "huge prick" too? Yes. Unquestionably.

Considering none of us know the sum-total of bum about any of them anyway, and that the comparative hugeness of their pricks is merely an overwrought argument about "the silliest shit they've done in football", I can't even imagine an argument for the humungous "prick" status that Jose enjoys, that would somehow, also, simultaneously absolve that trilogy of greats from the same swinging prick of judgement... Can you?

I mean, as iconic (and lets be honest, hilarious) it is now, I don't think you've quite registered how utterly ridiculous it was for reigning PFA Player of The Year Eric Cantona, to jump feet first into a stadium crowd, to kick a real life, mostly human opposition fan! Yeah, Mourinho once childishly prodded someone in the eye and then ran away, like Richard Hammond in a Top Gear ruck, but Eric Cantona JUMPED INTO THE CROWD AND HIT A FAN!! He almost took an old woman's head off too!

Then of course you've got Keano, who tried to end someone's career over a bizarre 4 year grudge that originally stemmed from an injury he got whilst TRYING TO FOUL SOMEONE!! .... And that's without dipping into the long, stamp-heavy, disciplinary record of both players, on and off the field.

Fergie, meanwhile, kicked a boot at his own player's head, sold his best defender for a ghost written anecdote about a petrol station, sued his own shareholders over a literal gifthorse, which ultimately contributed toward the Glazer Takeover, goaded a fellow manager into a public breakdown by going on a "disrespectful" rant about another fellow manager, banned scores of critical journos and slammed tonnes of referees, all the while refusing to speak to the BBC for seven years after one show said his son was dodgy, even though United's board at the time basically confirmed it by blacklisting him as an agent soon after!....
Mourinho was admittedly a dick to the only famous club doctor in the league (nay world!) but unless he did it whilst on the triple-prick-score square in Cuntopoly, I'm a bit lost at how he makes up the ground?

I've seen you say in other threads that you "don't get" the love for Mourinho. Well, the same bafflement you get from fans embracing a former rival (like, say Alan Smith, or RVP?) I get from the consistent and stubborn unwillingness to notice (or at least admit) that Jose is, and has always been, the most ball-tazering, lemon buggeringly obvious representation of a modern, Fergie-type manager. In almost every possible respect. The mind games, the calculated provocations, the siege mentality, cult of personalities, deep rooted loyalty followed by explosive media bust ups...Right down to the preferred fast counterattacking style, but the occasional reliance on bland pragmacy in the harder games, no manager shares nearly as many traits with Fergie as Jose does. Not by a country mile.

But of all the traits they share. The best one. The one that really gets me excited about this whole thing, is the trait they both have of being a huge, belligerent, confrontational, arrogant, talented, winning... prick.
Great post, it won't quote get through to the incredibly large self righteous head of the person you've responded to but maybe others will wise up.
 

2cents

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If anyone can genuinely sit there and tell me Ferguson or Cantona is as much of a prick as Mourinho I can't listen to it.

The idea that Cantona kicking some racist prick in the head is anywhere near just constant years of belittling, bitterness and just general lack of all around class is absurd.

Ferguson kept Manchster United at the top by being a world class professional. Did he lose his temper at times? Yes. If the worst thing he did is kick a boot in anger and make Kevin Keegan angry then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Occasionally yes, Ferguson would fall out with people. However you always felt he did well by the club. The amount of footballers who speak well of him is insane. Players like Shawcross, Eagles, Sompson have all said their careers are down to him.

Mourinho just isn't in the same class. From his comments to Wenger, insulting Benitez's wife, attacking his own medical staff for doing their job, physically assaulting other managers and throwing his players under the bus. This isn't a small thing. It's constant. Everywhere he goes.

I'm not having someone sitting here and saying Mourinho is anything like legends of our club. Just not having it. He's proven himself time and time again to be a nasty man.
I've always had the impression that Mourinho's players tend to love working with him, can't recall many instances of players slating him after his departures.
 

Livewire1974

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I agree with this.

I also accept and even, grudgingly, welcome the man. He certainly seems to be the right fit for the job and could well prove to be a great hire. It doesn't mean we have to pretend he is anything other than he is. I remember that flapping coat on the touchline when Porto beat us in the CL with all their cheap, nasty, diving, cheating shennanigans. Sure, he's made me laugh at times - wind-up merchants can be funny. He seems loyal to his players and engenders a strong team spirit - he knows how to manage a group of egos and how to win and, goodness knows, we have missed that. He shares traits of Fergie, Cantona, Keane et al, but he has managed to embody the very worst of them at times. I dare say he is neither wholly bad nor wholly good. Let's hope his passion for the job brings out the best he has to offer as that can be pretty impressive. As for the eye-gouging, hamper-hiding, referee-lying shit - he can leave that at the door.
He is funny up to a point, but then he become an absolute menace. Its only a mater of time until be becomes toxic.
 

Kill 'em all

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Players hating Mourinho is a load of crap. Mourinho integrates himself as part of the group and many players have commented about this side of Mourinho almost giving off a family feel between the players and himself.
 

Attila

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It's doubtful but I hope there's a press conference for him tomorrow
 

Adisa

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If anyone can genuinely sit there and tell me Ferguson or Cantona is as much of a prick as Mourinho I can't listen to it.

The idea that Cantona kicking some racist prick in the head is anywhere near just constant years of belittling, bitterness and just general lack of all around class is absurd.

Ferguson kept Manchster United at the top by being a world class professional. Did he lose his temper at times? Yes. If the worst thing he did is kick a boot in anger and make Kevin Keegan angry then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Occasionally yes, Ferguson would fall out with people. However you always felt he did well by the club. The amount of footballers who speak well of him is insane. Players like Shawcross, Eagles, Sompson have all said their careers are down to him.

Mourinho just isn't in the same class. From his comments to Wenger, insulting Benitez's wife, attacking his own medical staff for doing their job, physically assaulting other managers and throwing his players under the bus. This isn't a small thing. It's constant. Everywhere he goes.

I'm not having someone sitting here and saying Mourinho is anything like legends of our club. Just not having it. He's proven himself time and time again to be a nasty man.
I agree with this.
Not having people saying Fergie has stooped as low as some of the things Mourinho has done in the past.
That being said, we all just have to hope that things go smoothly in his three years here and he learns from his mistakes. Even though I'm not holding my breath, I'm choosing to ignore his past shenanigans and just focus on the football.
 
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2cents

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Players rarely slate former managers.
Perhaps, but LVG had a world class XI of ex-players hating hi, from Barca through to Bayern and now, apparently, us.

I'm not a fan of Mourinho's personality by any means, but his relationship with his players is something I've been impressed with since his first stint with Chelsea.
 

Someone

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We really don't need to shit all over fergie every time we need to make excuses for mourinho, fergie is a man with class that had his bad moments like every human being, mourinho is a full time twat.
 

RaptorSlo

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The main difference between Mou and Cantona/Keane/SAF is, what gets your focus.

Yes, all 3 of the above mentioned were great heroes for us, but sometimes cnutish as well. But they were our cnuts, so we focused on their positives.

On the other hand Mourinho was always a rival, and that's why the cuntness got the focus. People looking for more reasons to dislike/hate him. And whenever he did something, they would be telling themselves "aha, see that, I was right to hate him."

Who is or was the biggest cnut among them doesn't really matter. Is it even measurable? And even if Mou would be the least one among them, he'd be still the one most remembered for it, because that's the only thing our minds were focused on before his arrival.
 

united_99

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I agree with this.
Not having people saying Fergie has stopped as low as some of the things Mourinho has done in the past.
That being said, we all just have to hope that things go smoothly in his three years here and he learns from his mistakes. Even though I'm not holding my breath, I'm choosing to ignore his past shenanigans and just focus on the football.
Yep. Plus Fergie never lost the dressing room and never finished lower than 3rd when all the apparently so bad behavior happened.
Mourinho 's behavior last season however contributed to a title defence twice as bad as Moyes'.
 

Sigma

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The fact is Mourinho is the closest manager at the moment to SAF.
 

Mockney

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@Mockney you suck.

Just keeping the ego in check with all the praise :)
Nothing anyone can say, good or bad, could possibly cleanse the deep sense of masochistic shame I feel for falling off my late-night-Caf-rant-wagon with such giddy abandon.

I do it to myself, I do. And that's what really hurts.
 

AkaAkuma

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Assuming he signs Friday or Saturday, how much do you think it will overshadow the champions league final?
 

Oneunited26

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I think he'll rejuvenate Rooney in that role, commentators keep talking up Rooney in almost a deep lying role but if a manager can get the balance right that allows Rooney to maintain his attacking output while contributing defensively then we could have a world class Rooney returning - if anyone can then surely it's Mourinho?

This cycle under Mourinho is probably Rooney's last realistic chance at major silverware. He should be easy to motivate.
I hope Mourinho can see though rooney's god awful 3 years and we start to phase out rooney, because we don't want to start accommodating players, here's hope Mourinho does not keep rooney week in week out
 

united_99

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Assuming he signs Friday or Saturday, how much do you think it will overshadow the champions league final?
They will show live press conference in the San Siro, kick off will be delayed and Simeone and Zidane will be in tears by witnessing history being made in Manchester.
 

MrPooni

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A lot of the JoMophobic rhetoric I've seen around here talks about his past digressions like they exist in a bubble, like he just acts out for the sake of acting out and that's that. They ignore the fact that since leaving Portugal he's continuously strolled into some of the most high pressure jobs in modern football, during a period where the stakes haven't been higher for managers and consistently succeeded in a way that hasn't really been replicated since. He's worked under some of the most batshit, unstable owners in recent history and still managed to maintain that consistency and that's got to take its toll on a person, right? How do you think Fergie would have fared under Florentino Pérez and the weird politically charged atmosphere of the Real Madrid dressing room? Sure he'd win them a title or two but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be smooth sailing for him either. Same goes for Abramovich and his constant meddling with team affairs - do you think Fergie would come away from Chelsea Football Club unscathed? I doubt it. Take the visible toll the Barcelona job took on Pep and too and apply that to your arguments about how much of a cock Mourinho is because it's all relative. Of course none of this is justification for some of the crazy shit Jose has pulled over the years, especially the Eva Carneiro mess, but it's worth considering when stringing together silly arguments about the celestial bodies of Roy Keane and Sir Alex Ferguson.
 

united_99

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A lot of the JoMophobic rhetoric I've seen around here talks about his past digressions like they exist in a bubble, like he just acts out for the sake of acting out and that's that. They ignore the fact that since leaving Portugal he's continuously strolled into some of the most high pressure jobs in modern football, during a period where the stakes haven't been higher for managers and consistently succeeded in a way that hasn't really been replicated since. He's worked under some of the most batshit, unstable owners in recent history and still managed to maintain that consistency and that's got to take its toll on a person, right? How do you think Fergie would have fared under Florentino Pérez and the weird politically charged atmosphere of the Real Madrid dressing room? Sure he'd win them a title or two but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be smooth sailing for him either. Same goes for Abramovich and his constant meddling with team affairs - do you think Fergie would come away from Chelsea Football Club unscathed? I doubt it. Take the visible toll the Barcelona job took on Pep and too and apply that to your arguments about how much of a cock Mourinho is because it's all relative. Of course none of this is justification for some of the crazy shit Jose has pulled over the years, especially the Eva Carneiro mess, but it's worth considering when stringing together silly arguments about the celestial bodies of Roy Keane and Sir Alex Ferguson.
Sure, but take Chelsea. The same regime had so many managers, yes, they all got sacked, but none of them managed to do this badly and lose the players, not even Avram Grant. Even Benitez despite all the abuse he got did well.

Even worse regarding last season is that Mourinho actually won the league with the same club / players, so for sure he had his players ' respect and then lost the same players within months. That's on him, you can't blame other ppl for that kind of mess.
 

devilish

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Sure, but take Chelsea. The same regime had so many managers, yes, they all got sacked, but none of them managed to do this badly and lose the players, not even Avram Grant. Even Benitez despite all the abuse he got did well.

Even worse regarding last season is that Mourinho actually won the league with the same club / players, so for sure he had his players ' respect and then lost the same players within months. That's on him, you can't blame other ppl for that kind of mess.
True

TBF no Chelsea manager had ever bothered rejuvinating the side by getting rid of the old talent to make space to younger talent either. That can be a bit of a problem with so many mercenaries around
 

stevoc

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It's not too much to ask to not have a "MouCafe" banner like that horribly cringy "Oranjecafe" banner that heralded that other manager's reign, is it?
MouCafe isn't bad but surely JoMoCafe is more current?



Won't happen but @sammsky1 will like it.
 

sammsky1

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MouCafe isn't bad but surely JoMoCafe is more current?



Won't happen but @sammsky1 will like it.
woohoo!!!!! Love it! Thanks mate!!

JoMoPhobics won't like it though :p

@Niall / Mods: Please you know you wanna do it as a celebratory gesture when the official announcement comes!!!
 

Jaybomb

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I guess I'm the only one who's loved Mourinho for years and has been begging the Football Gods for him to succeed Sir Alex.

3 years in the making this, and I couldn't be happier :D:D
 

RDCR07

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I guess I'm the only one who's loved Mourinho for years and has been begging the Football Gods for him to succeed Sir Alex.

3 years in the making this, and I couldn't be happier :D:D
Where the hell have you been the past three years?
 

Wade3

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Sure, but take Chelsea. The same regime had so many managers, yes, they all got sacked, but none of them managed to do this badly and lose the players, not even Avram Grant. Even Benitez despite all the abuse he got did well.

Even worse regarding last season is that Mourinho actually won the league with the same club / players, so for sure he had his players ' respect and then lost the same players within months. That's on him, you can't blame other ppl for that kind of mess.
Of course you can, at least in part. Plenty of Chelsea players came into the season in poor shape, players who were a part of Mourinho's first eleven (Diego Costa as the prime example). I think they became complacent and once Mourinho demanded more of them, they went on strike. The mistake Mourinho committed was sticking to them, trusting them for far too long, but at the same time, if so many of your players are not performing, then there are hardly enough alternatives available.

It's not as if Hiddink went on some magical run after him either. I think they had 18 points in 18 games when he took over and they finished the season with 50 out of 38, giving them 32 over their next 20. That's 1.6 points per game and over the course of an entire season would give them 60.8 points. That'd place them 8th, just out of the Europa League spots.
 

Sereques

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Sky says at 5.20pm Mourinho signed.
Woodward and Mendes worked this morning to finalise all contract issues and invited Mourinho to a central London hotel to sign documents.
He arrived back home with a bottle of wine at 5.40pm.

Giggs and Mourinho have yet to speak about Giggs future.

They are treating this like the coup of the century!!

All their cries for Man United to fire LVG since December is not because they love Man United, it's because of this, this hollywood reality show. Mainly the only reason I don't want Mourinho, I don't want us to dance to the tune of the media but at this point, there is no one else out there that is top level.
 
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