Paul Ince feels like the perfect advocate for the perma-upset hyper muppets who camp out in the Ed Woodward thread every transfer window and/or flood the clubs social media channels with cringe inducing commentary on daily basis.
Paul Ince's open letter to Ed Woodward
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran hold a long overdue conversation about United's awful league form with 1 win in 7. They discuss a disappointing draw at Bournemouth, a not so disappointing draw against Liverpool and a crushing defeat at Chelsea - Is time nearly over for Erik Ten Hag?
Then in a special second half of the pod, Nik welcomes Natalie ( https://twitter.com/natalie_17) to discuss the fortunes of Manchester United Women as they booked a place in the FA Cup Final after a historic first ever win vs. Chelsea.
He joined Liverpool mate, so no he doesn't. And even if we ignored that he's still an idiot nobody should pay attention to ever. When he's right he's right by accident.
Next Manutd manager come December
Such a random thing to do from someone in the media - even if it is for self publicity. It's a standard rant you read on here.
He must be signed up as a member. I'm sure.
He must be signed up as a member. I'm sure.
Woodward's response just been tweeted.
Dear Paul,
I've never responded to a letter in which the author used the word "toss" before but I shall now make an exception.
Because everything you wrote was brilliant.
I have reread your letter at least a hundred times, sure to employ my monocle, and have to confess that I cannot locate a single letter, let alone word, phrase, clause or sentence, that is not beautifully exquisite in its placement and humiliatingly correct in its analysis.
Indeed, I am not ashamed to say that I have twice masturbated over your missive.
And even spent and weary in the aftermath, your wisdom makes me weep over the mistakes I have made at Manchester United football club in miserable transfer window after transfer window. I am sorry, Paul. I am sorry.
Indeed, you have caused in me the kind of self reflection that happens to a man perhaps once in his lifetime.
And now I seek with your globally unmatchable assistance a momentous transfer of responsibilities.
In short, Paul, I want you to run the cub.
From top to bottom.
Please, I beg you as if you were my only born threatening to leap off the Trafford Centre, beginning tomorrow morning, I want you, Paul Vermillion Ludovic Kennedy Ince, to be responsible for the administration of every facet of the day to day of this declining club.
Team management, transfer policy, club philosophy, all commercial operations, MUTV, the main car park -they are yours and yours alone to run.
Please, Paul.
I resign.
Ed Woodward
Dear Paul,
I've never responded to a letter in which the author used the word "toss" before but I shall now make an exception.
Because everything you wrote was brilliant.
I have reread your letter at least a hundred times, sure to employ my monocle, and have to confess that I cannot locate a single letter, let alone word, phrase, clause or sentence, that is not beautifully exquisite in its placement and humiliatingly correct in its analysis.
Indeed, I am not ashamed to say that I have twice masturbated over your missive.
And even spent and weary in the aftermath, your wisdom makes me weep over the mistakes I have made at Manchester United football club in miserable transfer window after transfer window. I am sorry, Paul. I am sorry.
Indeed, you have caused in me the kind of self reflection that happens to a man perhaps once in his lifetime.
And now I seek with your globally unmatchable assistance a momentous transfer of responsibilities.
In short, Paul, I want you to run the cub.
From top to bottom.
Please, I beg you as if you were my only born threatening to leap off the Trafford Centre, beginning tomorrow morning, I want you, Paul Vermillion Ludovic Kennedy Ince, to be responsible for the administration of every facet of the day to day of this declining club.
Team management, transfer policy, club philosophy, all commercial operations, MUTV, the main car park -they are yours and yours alone to run.
Please, Paul.
I resign.
Ed Woodward
I was reading through it waiting for the inevitable Ole dig and there it was. Ince is such a small time prick, who the feck is going to listen to him about running anything?
I read it all the way through and I don't underastand what he's on about. Why is Jesse Lingard doing what he wants? Because he has an instagram? Everyone forgotten about what Rio used to get up to under Fergie?
He doesn't want Ole to be allowed to sign young players? Only old ones then?
Weird rant
He doesn't want Ole to be allowed to sign young players? Only old ones then?
Weird rant
The fool seemingly forgot he was replaced by young players and that worked out pretty well... perhaps he should stay out of this management marlarky
It's as if he likes arguing so much that he starts arguing with himself half way through speaking.
You shouldn't put your trust in Ole, but no, you have to trust Ole, Ed.
This letter is completely idiotic. Clout chasing moron.
Whoever you are and whoever you support, one thing I think all fans can agree on is that Paul Ince is a total self absorbed, arrogant, ill informed little twat of a man.
I wouldn’t listen to him if he was the last person on earth
I wouldn’t listen to him if he was the last person on earth
Woodward is really the worst of the worst
Each one of us would have done a better job, even a 10 yo
It’s like having a Mike Ashley as a dof
Each one of us would have done a better job, even a 10 yo
It’s like having a Mike Ashley as a dof
It’s a classic, that I see every year
Bad transfers>Blame the manager>Sack the manager>New manager
Start again
The problem surely was not Lvg, Mourinho or even Moyes
The problem is Ed Woodward and Glazer family
Ince is saying nothing there, that as been said on this forum, But for some petty reasons he's getting stick for it .
If Twitter had existed in 1994 - Ince would have been one of the most Active at it. Kinda ironic that one of like 4-5 players over 20+ years to get kicked out of the club by Ferguson due to his behaviour, is the one criticizing Lingard and others.
If the criticism came from Neville, Scholes, Butt, Giggs etc - you might listen - but when it comes from one of the most arrogant players ever to have left the club - nah.
Remember this one after he left Liverpool ?
He declared himself delighted at linking up with his old England pal Bryan Robson at The Riverside - but there was no warmth for the management he has left behind.
''I want Houllier to get the sack and take Thompson down with him,'' fumed Ince.
He claimed the pair lacked ''dignity and class'' adding: ''If they think people are no longer any use to them they treat those people like dirt.
''It's disgraceful the way Houllier has treated me and other players at the club. 'He comes from France and I can't even believe he's managed a team before because he certainly doesn't seem to know how to. 'It's okay coming out with all this technical stuff about the game but when it comes to managing players off the field as people he certainly doesn't seem to know how to.'
If the criticism came from Neville, Scholes, Butt, Giggs etc - you might listen - but when it comes from one of the most arrogant players ever to have left the club - nah.
Remember this one after he left Liverpool ?
He declared himself delighted at linking up with his old England pal Bryan Robson at The Riverside - but there was no warmth for the management he has left behind.
''I want Houllier to get the sack and take Thompson down with him,'' fumed Ince.
He claimed the pair lacked ''dignity and class'' adding: ''If they think people are no longer any use to them they treat those people like dirt.
''It's disgraceful the way Houllier has treated me and other players at the club. 'He comes from France and I can't even believe he's managed a team before because he certainly doesn't seem to know how to. 'It's okay coming out with all this technical stuff about the game but when it comes to managing players off the field as people he certainly doesn't seem to know how to.'
feck off Paul Ince, you cocked eye eedjit.
Man's been a bellend all his life, so far up his own arse can't tell the wood from the trees.
He is a Liverpool fan, he isn't it?
People are too concerned about the author. Who cares who wrote the letter, as long as it made sense? Very good points, hopefully the letter gets into Woodward's hands.
Paul Ince is a cockwomble.
I don't care what an ex-Liverpool player thinks. Especially, about United.
Hard to give credibility to a man who spat in his sons face when he played a bad game in junior football.
Hard to disagree with anything he says there. The lack of quality in our squad is poor. Yes we have some good young players coming through, but they need to be integrated slowly but surely and must have good senior pros to look up to.
After the Everton game last year when we were spunked. Ole came out and said not all of those players will be here next season. Well fast forward a few months Ole and guess what. Yup they are all still here with the exception of Herrera and Valencia who didnt play that day.
Club is giving long term contracts to dead wood that no one wants to buy on the wages that they are on. The board and Ed are refusing to back the manager with quality signings particularly in midfield. And here we are again less than a week before the season starts and the fans are asking the same question as last season. Where are the signings. Where are the midfielders. We didnt score enough goals last season so how are we planning to rectify that? Where is the injection of quality in the final third? Mata on a long contract? Lingard humping bed sheets?
What about CM. We have Matic who looks finished. Andreas who every season seems to have potential. Fred and Darren Fletcher's god son. The one top class midfielder that we do have, wants out but nobody can afford him.
After the Everton game last year when we were spunked. Ole came out and said not all of those players will be here next season. Well fast forward a few months Ole and guess what. Yup they are all still here with the exception of Herrera and Valencia who didnt play that day.
Club is giving long term contracts to dead wood that no one wants to buy on the wages that they are on. The board and Ed are refusing to back the manager with quality signings particularly in midfield. And here we are again less than a week before the season starts and the fans are asking the same question as last season. Where are the signings. Where are the midfielders. We didnt score enough goals last season so how are we planning to rectify that? Where is the injection of quality in the final third? Mata on a long contract? Lingard humping bed sheets?
What about CM. We have Matic who looks finished. Andreas who every season seems to have potential. Fred and Darren Fletcher's god son. The one top class midfielder that we do have, wants out but nobody can afford him.
He critizes Ed for throwing away money at players and then critizes Ed for not throwing away money at players and playing youth.
I agree with the overall premise of the message though. But we don't need it coming from Ince.
I agree with the overall premise of the message though. But we don't need it coming from Ince.
That will definitely show him!
We shouldn’t listen to him. After all, he played for one of our biggest rivals, Wolves.
What a horrible read. feck off Ince
Paul Ince was never captain of United. He may have worn the armband a couple of times but our captains in the 90s were Bruce, Cantona and Keane.
Well, Mr. Ince. Experience was probably one of the things United looked for when signing LVG and Mourinho. Along with David Moyes, they had a total of 53 years of experience prior to joining United.Paul Ince said:
Unlike the other post Fergie managers, Ole has been able to show us occational glimpses of how United are supposed to be playing.
Considering he is a manager, I expected something a little more diplomatic, and also a little more insightful. But I suspect he did well to write it at all, considering the size of the chip he has on his shoulder.
This. It's called s**t stirring. His doing this for the fiver the papers will pay him for this drivel.
The way he says Ed shouldn't have appointed Ole and then ends the letter with don't sack him if it starts going wrong, like he won't be in the front of the queue calling for his head.
And he makes such a whine about the good old days, the same good old days where youth was used but we need to scrap that part because according the the Goofner no one will win anything with youth, make your mind up mate.
Ed you know who are next manager needs to be....
I love it. The more public scrutiny the useless cnut faces, the better.
https://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/405948/Dad-s-tough-love-made-me-stronger-says-Tom-Ince
To be fair I think he means that he screamed so much in his face that he spat all over him. Wonder what the 'and worse' refers to.
Sorry Paul you lost any right to comment on this club when you went to Liverpool.
Go and have a chat about them if you like.
Go and have a chat about them if you like.
He's not a manager though. He's a failed manager.
If ince is right, I'd rather be wrong