Why hire him as a permanent manager then?
Are we being duped by United? #DupeGate
- Thread starter SteveJ
- Start date
This is like RAWK 
Inception!
I prefer the Woodward is a Scouser conspiracy theory.
People used to make fun of RAWK for stuff like this.
And we use to laugh at rawk.
26 years of this shit we'd be ten times worse than rawk
26 years of this shit we'd be ten times worse than rawk
I imagine poetry will come be commonplace soon.
We sold our soul to the devil and now it's time for penance.
There's sadly only the facts:
Woodward wants to remain involved in transfers and so is acting DOF, he then had to find a manager who would be much more docile and less troublesome than the outspoken LVG/Mou personalities that had been and gone. Enter Ole, nice guy, polite without a bad bone in his body who loves the club and would do anything, even if it means unintentionally hampering us, to save United.
Woodward wants to remain involved in transfers and so is acting DOF, he then had to find a manager who would be much more docile and less troublesome than the outspoken LVG/Mou personalities that had been and gone. Enter Ole, nice guy, polite without a bad bone in his body who loves the club and would do anything, even if it means unintentionally hampering us, to save United.
Contender for worst thread of the year award?
26 more days of this shit and we’ll be ten times worse the rate we’re going at the moment.
It's really not meant to be a serious thread, folks.
There is some evidence to suggest that pre appointment Woodward and the Glazer's had Solskjaer assassinated. Woodward then had Solskjaer's face transplanted onto his own at a secret facility in Norway.
Woody has spent the previous year practicing on Football Manager and FIFA every day, in readiness for his venture into football management and genuinely believed he would be able to sell a load of players, not get any replacements, still win the title and send the share price rocketing.
It was all going to plan at the beginning as Woody's FIFA skills translated into instant success on the field. But it all came unravelling when Rashford and Lingard went to make a rap video in the toilet cubicles and stumbled in on Woody/Solskjaer taking a shit after he forgot to lock the door. They cottoned on to the mad scheme when they saw 'WOODY' emblazoned onto Woody's boxers draped around his ankles and guessed at what had happened. The gig was up and Woody has been being blackmailed by the Beanz brothers ever since. They both demanded bumper contract increases and a guaranteed place in the first XI or they will 'spill the beans' (so to speak) to the press of the sordid and evil plot. They also told Pogba and Mata. Mata in particular was fecking fuming and arranged for some of his Oviedo street homies he used to roll with back in the day, to destroy the Norway face swap facility, making the face swap process irreversible.
Before the lab was destroyed though, Rashford hired a private plane and flew to Norway and retrieved Woodward's true face and has been keeping it at a secret location in Carrington. He's promised Woody he can have his face back, but only if he lets him take all freekicks and shoot from whatever range he wants for the next 10 seasons.
The 'Woody' we see in the director's box is just a hologram and if you play clips of him at 0.15x speed, you can see that he's actually transparent.
Woody has spent the previous year practicing on Football Manager and FIFA every day, in readiness for his venture into football management and genuinely believed he would be able to sell a load of players, not get any replacements, still win the title and send the share price rocketing.
It was all going to plan at the beginning as Woody's FIFA skills translated into instant success on the field. But it all came unravelling when Rashford and Lingard went to make a rap video in the toilet cubicles and stumbled in on Woody/Solskjaer taking a shit after he forgot to lock the door. They cottoned on to the mad scheme when they saw 'WOODY' emblazoned onto Woody's boxers draped around his ankles and guessed at what had happened. The gig was up and Woody has been being blackmailed by the Beanz brothers ever since. They both demanded bumper contract increases and a guaranteed place in the first XI or they will 'spill the beans' (so to speak) to the press of the sordid and evil plot. They also told Pogba and Mata. Mata in particular was fecking fuming and arranged for some of his Oviedo street homies he used to roll with back in the day, to destroy the Norway face swap facility, making the face swap process irreversible.
Before the lab was destroyed though, Rashford hired a private plane and flew to Norway and retrieved Woodward's true face and has been keeping it at a secret location in Carrington. He's promised Woody he can have his face back, but only if he lets him take all freekicks and shoot from whatever range he wants for the next 10 seasons.
The 'Woody' we see in the director's box is just a hologram and if you play clips of him at 0.15x speed, you can see that he's actually transparent.
I'd like to see anyone dispute that evidence.
Otherwise what is happening at Utd right now really does not make any sense.
It's that bit. Our owners and board are just cnuts.
It's that bit. Our owners and board are just cnuts.
Me too. I’ve often thought that Phelan and McKenna are the coaches, while Ole is basically a cheerleader.
We didn't, we are being duped.
Ed Woodward asks Ole to 'lose' against Newcastle. Ole then resigns with honour disguised as an amicable sacking. During the weekend also, Tottenham fail to beat Brighton. What is Brighton's nickname? The Seagulls. Remember Eric Cantona's 'seagulls' quote in 1995. It is all part of the plan. Follow the breadcrumbs. Poch then comes out and resigns "stating he has taken Tottenham has far as he can and he would like a break from the game".
During the international break, Poch is announced as Manchester United manager #trusttheplan.
Poch's first game is againstthe gay frogs Liverpool. The date of that game is 20th October. Note 20th. 20th= 20 times.
20 was Ole's shirt number. This is all Ole and Stealth Ed Woodward's plan.
Tick tock
Prepare for big news drop. Big if true
#trusttheplan
During the international break, Poch is announced as Manchester United manager #trusttheplan.
Poch's first game is against
20 was Ole's shirt number. This is all Ole and Stealth Ed Woodward's plan.
Tick tock
Prepare for big news drop. Big if true
#trusttheplan
I'm sure the sheeple will find a way.
This was pretty much my theory to some mates but with some sort of dodgy handshake agreement with Poch agreed in my take. Was too hot to leave last Feb, chances were Solskjaer would middle out at best.
I think the Spurs players have sniffed it and are spooked, so have started to play like us in some sort of desperate attempt to seduce him all over again.
I think the Spurs players have sniffed it and are spooked, so have started to play like us in some sort of desperate attempt to seduce him all over again.
Ole needs 1 more transfer window before we can judge. In the meantime learn to accept and surrender to the current shit on a stick, as it ain't gonna change for a while.
Where does the class of 92 get sway/capital to build and run a hotel in that prime real estate?
#DupedByGlaziers
#DupedByGlaziers
My disturbing take on our internal conspiracy is that Woodward's employment is part of JPM's terms of involvement, it keeps one of 'their own' in a controlling seat and with access to all data. Therefore the fans ire at the Glazers and Ed Woodward is justified but only if they are viewed separately; the Glazers are our owners and Woodward is the banks bulldog and his plan is far more sinister than ensuring and the loan is repaid. His dream scenario is for another loan to be taken out, this will be Woodward's masterpiece, that would take advantage of the massive growth that has happened at the club in terms of value since the Glazer's arrived and be far greater than the original debt. United becomes a direct debit customer of the highest order to JPM for eternity.
"It was me dammit, Austin!"
You think the threads won't get any worse each day and yet they do .
Imagine if we get relagated will there be threads demanding we appoint Gerrard as manager?
Imagine if we get relagated will there be threads demanding we appoint Gerrard as manager?
Like Jamie Carragher said if the Glazers really cared about the club this wouldn’t be happening.
Sad thing is a Liverpool great can give better advice that any Man Utd legends.
Sad thing is a Liverpool great can give better advice that any Man Utd legends.
4D chess - Wardwood style
Will the real Stevie J please stand up.
That's the stuff conspiracies are made of.
You forgot the part where there's a tiny triangle shape hidden in Maguire's forehead.
Actually all sports members have to take a secret oath before they can start their profession. Only on a ‘need to know’ basis is how this world is structured. Players have to do rituals (players in the NBA, NFL with the devil horn signs), to sent that occultic energy in frequency waves. United aka known as the red ‘devils’ embodies the dark arts as well as do all the other clubs in the world of football. Its designed to distract the masses, to condition them to dedicate their lives to entertainment (financially, psychologically, socially), etc which on its turn stops people to reach their development of critical thinking and ‘enlightement’. Order out of chaos, a well known oneliner within freemasonic literatures describes this concept whereby the emphasis is put on controlling the masses through chaos. The dollar sign has an owl illustrated on it (which is an occultic freemasonic symbol as well) likewise the pyramid, which symbolizes the wisdom of old, the secret priesthoods in ancient egypt, who perceived themselves as ‘Gods’ who thought black magic and other various forms of ancient knowledge to students who could only join if they were initiated. This knowledge was deeply protected by inter marriage, which makes you think wether the british royal family has access to this wisdom of old as well....
Am i doing this conspiracy thing correct?
All jokes aside, there is no conspiracy thing here. The club went on that good run which was actually the worse thing that could happen in hindsight. Emotionalism and overrating the team, in combination with poor board decisions (not replacing Herrera and Lukaku) have all led to this poor situation United is in. Ole obviously has United in high regard, but he is a relatively young manager, who has to develop and learn on the job as well. In this day and age, where short term success is more celebrated then strategic development, one can reasonably ask the question wether Ole was suited for the United job.
Am i doing this conspiracy thing correct?
All jokes aside, there is no conspiracy thing here. The club went on that good run which was actually the worse thing that could happen in hindsight. Emotionalism and overrating the team, in combination with poor board decisions (not replacing Herrera and Lukaku) have all led to this poor situation United is in. Ole obviously has United in high regard, but he is a relatively young manager, who has to develop and learn on the job as well. In this day and age, where short term success is more celebrated then strategic development, one can reasonably ask the question wether Ole was suited for the United job.
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Biggest dupes at United seem to be the people running the club. When one of them can explain the point of signing Matic and Fred, then maybe I'll believe they aren't alien lizard people from planet Zog. Don't believe they're in a conspiracy. That would imply organization and planning. Something they are conspicuously lacking in. No. Not conspiracy; they must be alien lizard people.
The problems on field are leading to some fecked up threads on here.
Phase 1 is complete