rimaldo
All about the essence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2008
- Messages
- 40,835
- Supports
- arsenal
the whys, the wherefores and the do you mind if we don’ts of our demise as an elite club has been debated to death on here. is it the owners, whom whilst parasitic and viral in nature, have also ensured that they have spent enough money to not completely kill their host? is it failed after manager after failed manager? is the governance of our club at c-level to blame? is it the presence of increased competition from both within our shores and from across europe? or could it be something simpler, something away from the pitch?
throughout the most successful periods of our history we have always had first team players with bald heads. you might want to sit down when you read this but sir bobby charlton ensured other teams were thrown off the scent of this by covering his baldness up. yes, you heard that right, i can exclusively reveal to you that bobby utilised a combover. sir busby also added bald power from the touchline.
the all-conquering liverpool team of the 80s famously hid their bald heads by growing ridiculous perms to try and guard the secret of success.
roy keane turned up with a crew cut at the start of each preseason to ensure he spent the maximum amount of energy over the summer hating other teams and cultivating his winning mentality. he couldn’t afford to waste precious bodily resource on growing hair. apparently he continues to be as smooth as a ken doll “downstairs” to this day, resulting in the nickname “keane doll.” micah richards has sworn to keep his secret safe as long roy pretends to be his friend on air. when keane couldn’t be bothered to catch baldness, it was left to beckham or rio to fill in and ensure our dominance continued.
the secret of our success even ensured jokers like barthez were purchased ahead of other, superior but haired goalkeepers, before being kept far beyond their use by date to ensure the curse of bald trafford would never materialise.
looking around our first team squad now there is a dearth of bald or balding players. in a world of preening prima donnas and hair transplants, good, bald players are at a premium and are by and large already at other successful clubs (fernandinho and pep at city, fabinho and tiago at liverpool.) is it simply the lack of bald players blocking our route back to the summit of football?
maybe the club has finally put two and two together. it would explain why we keep renewing lee grant’s contract, despite having about a billionty goalkeepers on the payroll, a guinness world record, i’m led to believe. martial did try and lift the curse at one point but he had fallen out of favour and was injured before his his bald power had reached the level required to drag us out of the mire.
are there any bald players out there who can bring success back? we can’t rely on our youth set up. even the luckiest of men don’t usually start balding until their early 20s. should a gang of us pin down and collectively reverse samson rashford into becoming a good player again?
make old trafford bald again.
throughout the most successful periods of our history we have always had first team players with bald heads. you might want to sit down when you read this but sir bobby charlton ensured other teams were thrown off the scent of this by covering his baldness up. yes, you heard that right, i can exclusively reveal to you that bobby utilised a combover. sir busby also added bald power from the touchline.
the all-conquering liverpool team of the 80s famously hid their bald heads by growing ridiculous perms to try and guard the secret of success.
roy keane turned up with a crew cut at the start of each preseason to ensure he spent the maximum amount of energy over the summer hating other teams and cultivating his winning mentality. he couldn’t afford to waste precious bodily resource on growing hair. apparently he continues to be as smooth as a ken doll “downstairs” to this day, resulting in the nickname “keane doll.” micah richards has sworn to keep his secret safe as long roy pretends to be his friend on air. when keane couldn’t be bothered to catch baldness, it was left to beckham or rio to fill in and ensure our dominance continued.
the secret of our success even ensured jokers like barthez were purchased ahead of other, superior but haired goalkeepers, before being kept far beyond their use by date to ensure the curse of bald trafford would never materialise.
looking around our first team squad now there is a dearth of bald or balding players. in a world of preening prima donnas and hair transplants, good, bald players are at a premium and are by and large already at other successful clubs (fernandinho and pep at city, fabinho and tiago at liverpool.) is it simply the lack of bald players blocking our route back to the summit of football?
maybe the club has finally put two and two together. it would explain why we keep renewing lee grant’s contract, despite having about a billionty goalkeepers on the payroll, a guinness world record, i’m led to believe. martial did try and lift the curse at one point but he had fallen out of favour and was injured before his his bald power had reached the level required to drag us out of the mire.
are there any bald players out there who can bring success back? we can’t rely on our youth set up. even the luckiest of men don’t usually start balding until their early 20s. should a gang of us pin down and collectively reverse samson rashford into becoming a good player again?
make old trafford bald again.