I think it has somethign to do with building a time machine...
£400m transfer kitty within 5 years
- Thread starter Successful
- Start date
-
In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran hold a long overdue conversation about United's awful league form with 1 win in 7. They discuss a disappointing draw at Bournemouth, a not so disappointing draw against Liverpool and a crushing defeat at Chelsea - Is time nearly over for Erik Ten Hag?
Then in a special second half of the pod, Nik welcomes Natalie ( https://twitter.com/natalie_17) to discuss the fortunes of Manchester United Women as they booked a place in the FA Cup Final after a historic first ever win vs. Chelsea.
I think the flow chart is suggesting we generate money by charging the sun for a season ticket.
i haz a diagram!
Apparently there are £300m + Man Utd fans around the world, let's just bankroll our signings together.
I've found some interesting theories on this idea:
It seems very dependant on the sun bringing his friends along for the experience. Jupiter and Saturn are supposed to be real high rollers.
Haha!
That's good stuff, Adzz.
That's good stuff, Adzz.
I don't get it...
Why is everybody responding to this thread like it's not a wind-up?
Tell me it's just people playing along, and nobody thinks the OP is being serious?
Why is everybody responding to this thread like it's not a wind-up?
Tell me it's just people playing along, and nobody thinks the OP is being serious?
Dunno, shouldn't imagine many of us got through the op.
Got to be able to get through it to find humour.
You did I take it.
Got to be able to get through it to find humour.
You did I take it.
Bohm et al. disproved the Hawking formula quoted above by AdZzUtd.
A test collision of the High Performance Fan with yer typical Millwall or Leeds fan is planned by CERN later this year.
A few Liverpool fans will be sprinkled on top in particle form - tho' devoid of charm and spin .
This should surely end all controversy.
A test collision of the High Performance Fan with yer typical Millwall or Leeds fan is planned by CERN later this year.
A few Liverpool fans will be sprinkled on top in particle form - tho' devoid of charm and spin .
This should surely end all controversy.
So all of that PLUS Messi?And YES, I am including players like Messi in that equation.
Thoughts?
The internet will surely implode.
The complete lack of any trace of wit or humour in the OP?I don't get it...
Why is everybody responding to this thread like it's not a wind-up?
Tell me it's just people playing along, and nobody thinks the OP is being serious?
I'm probably being old-school here but I expect something that's been written for a laugh to be... well... funny?
Oh come on, it may not succeed in genuine comedy but the attempt at Chris Morriss-eqsue hunour is blatant, from the warped english and the silly buzzwords through to the biggest give away of the lot, the ridiculous diagram!
If this guy is being serious, I'll eat the internet:
The "Studies show" one is actually quite funny!
No no no, the diagram clearly indicates that the sun is a Manchester United fan (in fact implying that it is THE Manchester United fan), and that, since it is larger than other United fans, it should pay a premium price for its season ticket. Seems reasonable enough.
Clearly you've failed to undertand the flow chart correctly.
Brilliant wind-up.
I'm assuming it's not a wind up.
On that basis and with reference to Fig. 1 - the opening diagram, what the feck is a purcase?
On that basis and with reference to Fig. 1 - the opening diagram, what the feck is a purcase?
Hear him out guys, I think this has potential.
that's just convoluted keynesianism
Another January - another transfer window closed. I’m gutted as hell we didn’t sign anything. The gaffer says No Value… ??? OK! I don’t understand how this club with all its supporters (the biggest fan base on the planet) can’t afford signing up players. There are enough people generating money to line up any player. And YES, I am including players like Messi in that equation. So, I’ve been looking into this issue of getting the most possible out of our fan base on match days!
What I am suggesting is that we should be looking at identification of 'value customers'. Knowing who's going to buy what and what this person might be interested in buying gives you an advantage in marketing and service. By allowing customers to earn points on buying products connected to our official partners will not only benefit the commercial value of their services and Our platform in negotiating for third party contract revenues, but also strengthening Our chances of selecting ‘the correct man for the seat’ by giving volume to the diagnosis instruments. The consumer then rapidly earn his way up in the season ticket order by each transaction made between him and certificated third party. The end product will then be a high performance fan (prefered value customer). In normal cases this kind of information comes with a huge price tag attached to it and results are not always as accurate as conventional methods.
I know exactly what you’re all thinking rights now. -He’s going to replace us with rich snobs willing to put up money on the table!
That’s one way of looking at it and I‘m sure the same thing was said the very first day a football club started to take a fee for viewing. But narrowing yourself down to that way of thinking you’re going to miss the big picture. It’s 2011 now - there are alternatives to watching the game. New technology offers each and one of us the possibility to bring the pitch into our own livingroom. I’m talking 3d-tv, Internet, podcasts. Endless ways of getting the same sort of experience without having to give up on any football. We have come a long way since getting a £3,99 ticket on match day to having to send in enquiries for £180 low cost tickets… It’s time for the next step.
Win Win Win
This is the modern way of working within sports today. Studies show that up to 50% of the success for club is won on the drawing board of economists. Without their necessary contribution to the game we would find ourselfs playing lower league football. They introduced the win-win-win concept which means giving each and one of the three rocks in the foundation (fan, club, partners) what they wish for. For us here on redcafe that would be success and new hot transfers. For the club it would mean more fans and better earnings. For the sponsors it would mean good results and high performance customers.
We need to move away from the traditional thinking of the typical fan. To further show how this idea was born and developed I give you a simple sketch from MsPaint which shows how this could be the future win-win-win situation.
Each colour represents one of the three parties included in my idea. Whenever there’s something to gain for any of those involved - a coloured square appears around the keyword. The lines indicates the consequences of the action being made. The complicity of the idea goes far beyond this simple sketch but gives enough support to prove my point. The ending line leading back to the “Fan” is in business dictionary called PBL (Power benefit line) and an outcome of increasing and maximizing earnings for at least two out of three parties.
Thoughts?
To those doubting the authenticity of the spazzness, have a look at just about every other thread created by Successful.
"Thank you for your feelings.
You have someone in your family who is an idiot. No further details. in addition, your user name is successful but I don't its true at all because you didn't even test what is being a successful. my point is if you were successful you would have gone for clubbing instead of posting on this forum."
-omgstopthreatingme4eva
You have someone in your family who is an idiot. No further details. in addition, your user name is successful but I don't its true at all because you didn't even test what is being a successful. my point is if you were successful you would have gone for clubbing instead of posting on this forum."
-omgstopthreatingme4eva
Ok, he's a bit off.
It's at this point I'd like to distance myself from all remarks I've made in this thread...I thought the OP was engaging in some japery. Turns out, he's just a bit weird. Stop being weird!
This has to go into the classics. I've got tears in my eyes reading this thread, and I'm having a hard time trying to suppress the laughter. Thank God it's Friday and most people have left their cubes.
Thats what I was like, literally creasing up behind my desk from the second post
Thoughts?
Fans on Benefits?
Is that similar to friends with benefits?
Is that similar to friends with benefits?
Porter's five forces or any other case framework is not the answer to everything. This is why consulting is bigging to get on my nerves...
This thread has been successful.
make me
first time I looked at the OP I just couldn't be arsed, looked like a joke but this time I actually read it.
So in summary you are suggesting the club and it's commercial partners record when a united fan makes a purchase and these purchases go towards ranking fans in order of preference for season ticket sales. The partners get more money from sales, the club gets more money from commercial partners (what happened to word sponsor? seemed a perfectly good word to me) and the fan gets a slightly richer club with slightly richer players, more credit card debt and load of shit they didn't need or (probably) want.
I know I'm being disingenious and the idea is that if a united fans wants a new fridge and they can benefit from buying from united's 'white goods commercial partner' then they might do just that but in essesnce it's just another way to screw the average fan over.
Leave well enough alone.
Oh, and the purple and red arrow is genius.
So in summary you are suggesting the club and it's commercial partners record when a united fan makes a purchase and these purchases go towards ranking fans in order of preference for season ticket sales. The partners get more money from sales, the club gets more money from commercial partners (what happened to word sponsor? seemed a perfectly good word to me) and the fan gets a slightly richer club with slightly richer players, more credit card debt and load of shit they didn't need or (probably) want.
I know I'm being disingenious and the idea is that if a united fans wants a new fridge and they can benefit from buying from united's 'white goods commercial partner' then they might do just that but in essesnce it's just another way to screw the average fan over.
Leave well enough alone.
Oh, and the purple and red arrow is genius.
This does not make sense
If anyone failed to grasp the entirety of the graph displayed by the OP, here is a bonafide summary of the key economic concepts at hand, permitting one to fully comprehend the extent of its reasoning
The OP probably laughing at everyone taking this seriously.. Not that that makes it any less sad
the arrow.If we lose, we'll rip peoples' arms out of their sockets.
....