Recent content by Hark Muse

I don't think he's ever seen a bad match in his life. He think's everything is outstanding and hilarious. I'd almost rather listen to that twat Carragher. Almost.

He's a bluuuuue, blue badge abuser! (Half Man Half Biscuit reference)

Brighton should make a movie of this game. De Zerbi Goes Bananas!

I've heard people say that David May. I know for a fact that he definitely would.

Lille to Dortmund £56m I hate to see it!

1. United 2. Chelsea 3. Liverpool 4. City 5. Aston Villa 6. Spurs

2-2!

Has anyone mentioned Hugo Lloris? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him have a good game. Not even against Utd unlike countless other keepers!

To the tune of Yellow by Coldplay; Look at this star, look at how he shines for you, he’ll make the scousers blue, He is called Diallo.

Yerry Xmas Arsenal!

They say draws are like kissing your sister. That match was more like kissing my granny and she’s been dead about 12 years.

To the tune of It’s a Mystery by Toyah: It’s Pellistri, Oh it’s Pellistri... That’s it. Keep it simple!

After three semi final defeats and (an albeit creditable) third place league finish, we can’t even call ourselves the nearly men. We’re the nearly, nearly men. Just like Lindelof is nearly, nearly a decent defender. I’m morbidly obese and have a club foot but I’d say I’m a better player than...

I watched that match from a hospital bed, having had surgery that afternoon. I turned the tv off just before Terry’s penalty as I couldn’t stand to see the smug bugger win it. When I heard the cheers from from the other ward, I assumed they were ABU’s delighting in Chelsea’s victory. How...

Yeah, we value him at about £12-15m!