Stupid things you've said to people you fancied

puNANI

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It was my first time at a club and I was dancing with a few friends. Some stunning girl who looked 2 years older than me started bumping into me on purpose when she was dancing and I didn't really know what to do because I was nervous. Her friends tapped me on the shoulder and said to me, "are you going to talk to her" and I don't know why but I smiled at them and turned around. One of them tapped me on the shoulder again and said we were being serious.

So I went up to the girl, and said "Hello, nice to meet you" but just as I said meet, a nice ball of saliva had left my mouth and hit her on the cheek. It proceeded with her smiling, and saying "Nice to meet you too" whilst awkwardly trying to clean the saliva. I was to embarrassed to keep talking to her after that, so I turned around, walked off while waving bye and left the club.
 

Wonder Pigeon

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x42bn6

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i was at the club , tipsy and in the mood to party .there was this girl i really fancied , little small skinny one whit big tits .
at one time she comes to me and asks me if i can walk her home because she is afraid to walk alone...she lived close by ...i said sure , walked her next to her flat and at the entrance i said ..you're good from here , by and went back to the club .
the next day my mate comes and tells me that the girl asked him that why i don't fancy her because she thought i do , and she wanted to surprise me since she was home alone that week end

i felt so dumb ..how did i miss it
It was my first time at a club and I was dancing with a few friends. Some stunning girl who looked 2 years older than me started bumping into me on purpose when she was dancing and I didn't really know what to do because I was nervous. Her friends tapped me on the shoulder and said to me, "are you going to talk to her" and I don't know why but I smiled at them and turned around. One of them tapped me on the shoulder again and said we were being serious.

So I went up to the girl, and said "Hello, nice to meet you" but just as I said meet, a nice ball of saliva had left my mouth and hit her on the cheek. It proceeded with her smiling, and saying "Nice to meet you too" whilst awkwardly trying to clean the saliva. I was to embarrassed to keep talking to her after that, so I turned around, walked off while waving bye and left the club.
:lol:
 

Zen

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Nothing.

Legit nothing is the stupidest thing I've said to the people I've fancied. Learn from the mistake after like the 3rd time.
 

cesc's_mullet

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I don't know how I missed this thread. Brilliant, got one myself a few from this past year at Uni in the States - quite long and probably not worth it, but it's definately something you'd only ever get in a movie (or my life)

I took one girl to my fraternity's formal invitation dance- normally an easy way to get a girl

It was my first semester in the fraternity, and I was in the middle of pledging (hazing). one member of each new pledge class has to run naked around the bar/club that we rent out for the night - I happened to be that person. I neglected to tell her I would be doing a naked run until we were on the bus to the club, she laughed it off, already quite drunk. Things were looking up...

the other fraternity members were getting me smashed in preparation, and I was completed pissed up. at some point, i did my naked lap, getting tackled on the dance floor by my best friends in the process. The bartender took a picture of me naked which has since been pinned up on the wall behind the bar. I gotback in my clothes and am going to see the girl when the alcohol finally wins. Run outside, puking everywhere in the parking lot with the girl watching out the window. I spend the next two hours of the night in disarray behind a dumpster in the parking lot, vomiting intermittenly. I eventually got back to the fraternity house and pass out for the night.

The next morn' I call her to say sorry and ask if she still had a good time etc... I thought from her tone and the dismissive texts she was sending that I was fecked (as youd expect). So, I said feck it and forgot about her.

About 2 months later a buddy of mine had talked to her at a bar, and she had told him that she had a fantastic time with me, liked me a lot, but couldn't figure out why I had stopped calling and talking with her. She now had a boyfriend but said she wasn't too into him and would leave him for me. He told me and I was well pissed off with myself - I decided I would take action

That same night, some friends and i smoked some weed until late. I walked home alone and was on a very lonely trail through a park back to my flat. There was someone walking the other way in the distance. Now, I have dreadful eyesight and, before I knew it, was right next to this very same girl. she was right there, we were alone, and we both stopped dead in our tracks. She took a step towards me, we were quiet for a second and then she said, "do you have something to say to me?" and I looked back and said "I am high as balls right now, peace"

drugs suck
:lol:
 

cesc's_mullet

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So I was typing up a ridiculously long story for this thread, one which only had a crappy crappy punchline - but it was the epitome of uncool. Anyway I've decided against it since all the typing's just not worth the effort, so I'll dot point it instead:

- Meet girl that I always fancied out, a friend of some friends... We hit it off and I think I'm a proper chance here. Realise after it's too late that I only ever see this girl really sporadically, but had a really good feeling about it.

- Break up with my then-girlfriend the next day (was going to anyway, but that encounter gave me the impetus).

- Good feeling comes up trumps as I randomly see her near my work a few days later. But alas I didn't ask her out for a drink since too many people were about, and I fear rejection (public) like nothing else. I slink away thinking I've fecked this, when would I see her next? Could be months.

- Decided feck it, I'm going to try anyway so had to figure which would be less creepy: asking our mutual friends for her number, or going the f/book route. I decided f/book.

- I post her this unassuming message:
hey c*******e, how’s it going? this may be a bit random, but i was wondering if you’d come out for a drink or coffee with me sometime?

and i’m sorry to do this over facebook by the way. i’d rather ask face to face, but i don’t have your number, and realised i don’t know when i’d be seeing you around next. so anyway, if you’d like to do something let me know… no pressure though!
I get this reply:

hey s***n im gooood!! How are ya?
lol i cant say no to a good coffee!! lol sounds great!
My number is ********** if you need it
Are you working today??
Speak soon!

- Naturally I get excited and message her. We try and figure out a time and can't that week due to being free when each I was busy, and vise-versa. We say we'll try another time.

- I message her the next week, no reply. I may have messaged another time also with no reply. I think feck this I must have fecked up somehow, but couldn't for the life of me figure where I'd gone wrong. I was pissed off 'cos this whole time I had a good feeling about it.

- Fast-forward a few weeks and I'm out at this club with some mates, and who comes up to me when I'm ordering a drink? This girl. But alas she has a guy in-toe, so I think well feck me that's the reason why she didn't message back...

Anyway feck I'm blabbering again. So she gives me, a mate and this dude a lift home. Turns out it was just a work-mate... I still think feck it 'cos she had plenty of chances to explain why she never got back to me, but didn't.

So fast forward another two days and I'm sitting out the front having a drink at my work (before I was due to start) when I hear a 'HI S***N!' I look around and see her going into the shop just two stores down again, but I wasn't having any of it 'cos I was pissed off about the lack of explanation, so I decide to play it cool and just wave, and get back to my phone.

But next thing I know she's walked over to talk to me. I say thanks again for the lift for the other night and after a few minutes of small talk I'm like 'I think you should get back to your sister' - and acted all maddogg like. She's like 'oh, ok well see ya' and starts to walk off looking a little taken aback (and in my head I was like 'well played, you are one smoooooth cat' to myself). But a few steps later she turns around and goes: 'By the way sorry about not getting back to you, I've been really busy... But if you're still interested I'd love to do something with you.'

To which I almost scream with excitement, REALLY??!?!?!?!?!?!??!!? And with that my cool-metre went down about a hundred notches.



Yeah, sorry for that wall of text too for such little reward.
 

Zarlak

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but the worst one ever was a girl who I practically loved, I was so besotted by her...one night in laverys her mate told me I had to ask her out this night...so I walks up to her and says "so joanne would you like to go out with me sometime then?" (yes i am that smooth) to which she replied "No"...now i later found out she was about to follow up what she had just said by saying "i dont want to go out with you sometime I want to go out with you now" or something but I didnt give give her the chance as I interrupted and said "well feck you then you ugly cnut" and walked off. later her mate said she had cried all night cause she had really fancied me, but I couldnt convince her mate to say i was only hurt and joking and that i really fancied her still.

:lol::lol:
 

B20

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When i first started college we had to play a name game to get to know everyone.
I sat next to the one girl who i did know, as she went to my old school, and i happened to fancy her.
So we had to asy our name, with alliteration.
E.g, i said generous George.

So it comes to her, and she asks me for advice...

Brilliantly i came up with, 'easy Ellen', for her, and said it loud enough for the class to here.

Everyone else in this class found it funny. Not her.
I was one of the first to go when we did this on the first day of uni. I didn't know what to say and the first thing that came up was "Anal Anders." We learned later that day that you were stuck with this name from then on and if you wanted it changed, you'd need to apply for a dispensation with the party/student welfare committee.

Later that day, we actually shook hands and introduced ourselves to everyone new at the institute, which was a few hundred people. I will say, a lot of people knew who I was straight away. Think I overheard about a handful of people talking to others at one point or another that day about having met an 'Anal Anders'. And one even commented on it to a group I was standing in, to which I then intervened "I am Anal Anders" to the awkard silence of the hitherto enthusiastic narrator.

For some reason, people increasingly started referring to me in the third person at uni ("hey, here comes the Anal Anders!") and my nickname was eventually just shortened to "the anal."
 

Eriku

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"All the better to rape you" that just never stops being funny, I genuinely hope that is a true story.
That really was the classiest of allusions... I don't give a feck whether it's true or not. I might've THOUGHT such a thing, on a good day, but feck me if I'd ever blurt it out :lol:

On the plus side, if the girl laughs at that, she's a f'n keeper as far as I'm concerned.
 

sidsutton

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I know, that and Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod, I sometimes get the giggles about them at random moments.
The Highlander one is my favourite by far. Especially FreakyJim's last line.

Well, I was at a party, there was this girl I liked then, we talked, etc and at some point she went out onto the balcony for a smoke. I wanted to join her so we could be alone for a while away from the crowd and the music.
As I was going towards the balcony I spotted a broom handle and decided to be spontaneous and cute.
I took it. Then I barged outside onto the balcony, waving the fecking stick like a sword shouting: "I am Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. There can be only one!"
The look she gave me will haunt me for the rest of my life.
:lol: Of all the ways to be spontaneous and cute, he chose that. Inspired stuff.
 

Kinky Melinky

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I was once at a party chatting to some really good looking bird, and had been working my magic all night on her and I was literally about 5 minutes away from a shag. She asked me to accompany her to the bathroom, so I obliged. When we went walking upstairs, the lights were all off and she said something to the effect of, "I get scared when the lights are off", to which I jokingly replied along the lines of "all the better for me to rape you".. Things sort of dulled from there.
:lol:

Pissing myself here
 

Pexbo

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I was supposed to be off travelling with a girl I liked about 3 or 4 years ago, I got (very) drunk one night and when I got home I ended up sending her a fecking essay on what "could happen" if we go travelling together.

It was supposed to be a bit suggestive and a bit.... "oh you know, we might have to end up sharing the same sleeping bag for some reason" wink wink.

I read it the next day and it was like one of our Parents had written us a letter about the dangers of when two friends go travelling together.

She ended up being offered a teaching job she couldn't refuse so we couldn't go in the end that summer but neither of us has ever mentioned it to this day! Still great friends mind you.
 

SmashedHombre

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Me: Man I love bottle-water. It's better than sex.
Her: Better than sex?
Me: Yeah, don't you think so?
Her: Not really.
Me: Oh...well at least one of us is doing a good job of it then.

Girlfriend is really not happy with me. In hindsight I probably should have clarified it was just a joke, instead of turning back around and finishing off my water.
 

Art

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Best General thread IMO. Spent the last 2 hours reading it. And Smashed :lol: - Legend.
 

Saliph

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Me: Man I love bottle-water. It's better than sex.
Her: Better than sex?
Me: Yeah, don't you think so?
Her: Not really.
Me: Oh...well at least one of us is doing a good job of it then.

Girlfriend is really not happy with me. In hindsight I probably should have clarified it was just a joke, instead of turning back around and finishing off my water.
:lol:
 

Tibs

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So the girl was really upset about something and had been crying, when I said:

'Just remember ****, in the words of Michael Jackson, you are not alone'

100% true
 

cinc

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This is not something I said, but something that happened, but still:

I was about to get back together with an ex, but I went out with an friend of mine (back from high school) the previous night. we went to the first day of a 2 day event at a club (concerts both day), we put our stuff into the cloakroom together. at the end of the night, I was going home, very drunk, so I didnt notice that I grabbed her bag and took it home.

This was back in 1997, we didnt have cellphones and landlines, so she couldnt reach me. Next day, after a nice dinner I went to the same venue with my ex, right after we went in the girl from the previous night came to us fuming "bring back my bag, right now, I cant get into my flat!".

I went home for her bag and never had a chance with my ex again.