RAWK Goes Into Meltdown 2016-17 Edition

Chorley1974

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Not every forum can be such a stellar representation of objectivity, reason, sanity, football knowledge and poetry talent that RAWK represents.

They should bare with us.
We are well behind in the poetry stakes, both in terms of writing it in a forum, and poetic justice on the pitch.
 

montpelier

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RAWKITE #1
FFS,on display is three pairs of feckin pyjamas called Sleepwalkers...no its not,its three pairs of feckin pyjamas..bell end.


RAWKITE #2 writes in defence of Modern Art (excerpt only)
Reading your description of the pajamas lying on the floor did make me go 'Yeah, that does sound a bit crap.' But Google, one click, and 60 seconds of reading later, I'm already thinking that it's just an incey wincey bit better. OK, it's not exhilirating but it's decent. It's dictating certain images in my head from a different angle - a journey I wouldn't have had sitting on the lavvy.
RAWKITE #1 remains unconvinced & loses all control of at least his paragraphs in the excitement - so much so, that I couldn't copy/paste even (maybe me, obvs) but here it is re-quoted for you via the medium of much buggering about Paint.

 

Charlie Foley

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I love that book review page
"Football? Bloody hell!", as Bill Shankly once said.

By the final chapter of this book I was kneeling on the floor of my living room, floods of tears pattering onto my replica kit, wailing like a hysterical gibbon. My dogs, Rushie and Aldo, wailed in solidarity with me. They understood; my wife didn't. I felled her with a right hook.

Imagine if all you ever wanted was a carrot cake, and then, after 25 years without one, you see your most loyal friend walking towards your house smiling, carrying a carrot cake with your name on it. As he reaches your drive, he tumbles calamitously into a ditch. You rush out to find him writhing in agony amongst a cakey-muddy mess, a hungry raven pecking at his flesh. That is how we Liverpool fans feel about the 13/14 season (the raven is Tony Pulis, by the way).

This book is not just some cynical cash-in to make money out of Irish people. Paul Tomkins has truly encapsulated the modern-day Liverpool Football Club experience in literary form: the misty-eyed sentimentality, the endless self-mythologizing and, above all, the abject, humiliating failure. YAWN.

This magnificent book helped me forget for a short time what a disgusting, fat, blubbering-in-the-stands mess I am and had the added bonus of keeping me from posting lies about Patrice Evra on twitter whilst reading it. 5 stars.

And my personal favourite

Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
I am the Love that dare not speak its name.'

So spaketh Lord Alfred Douglas, the lover of Oscar Wilde, whose words above were used against Wilde in his trial for gross indecency. And just as theirs was a love whose name was dared not to be spoken, so too, more than a century later, was the hidden love of a tribe of football fans whose passion stretched all the way from Milton Keynes to Chelmsford.

It often said that there is a fine line between love and hate. Never more so could it be shown than in the reviews for this book. Like the besotted schoolgirl pulling the hair of the boy in class she claims to hate, this is a love so powerful that the only way the love-lorn can suffer is to lash out in an uncontrollable fit of desire.

So too might you if, after 25 years of unprecedented financial dominance of the English game, the pantheon of European achievement still left you sitting somewhere between Anderlecht and Porto in the list of European success. What must it have felt like to have finally grappled some semblance of your own identity, with your greatest ever manager, fumbling in Europe for a quarter of a century, only to be cuckolded in 2005 by a Spaniard, in probably the greatest club football match of all time? What soul crushing heartbreak must that have been?

In 2014 it became clear that the little boy whose hair was pulled in the anguish of unrequited worship had moved on. He had long since taken to ignoring that little girl who had been so hopelessly overcome with rabid, fetishistic obsession. Yet the obsession only worsened. Whilst Brendan Rodgers was taking a side from 7th place to within a whisker of the league title, with a squad costing barely half that of the countries most expensive teams, and with a brand of football so daring it made the jaw drop, Manchester United fans were taking infatuation to a new level.

Not content with spending every single home game relentlessly singing about Liverpool (an unrequited advance), or failing to sell out their ticket allocation at a European Cup final because it involved a bit of travelling, United's fans cemented their reputation as the creepy stalkers of the premier league by posting reviews of a book about Liverpool. Much like the deranged obsessive daubs the name of their idol in excrement across their bedroom wall, United fans were contenting themselves with self molestation from the safe distance of a 7th place Premier League finish.

Looking on from afar, the scorned, inadequate's betrayal only feels greater. It is difficult to imagine the despair felt as Liverpool walked off the Old Trafford pitch disappointed to have only won 3-0. Whether watching from a shed in Eccles, or loudly shouting "Gow On Giggsie", whilst wearing a replica shirt in a pub in Weybridge, the heartache is the same.

Theirs is the love that dare not speak it's name. An infatuation so profoundly all-encompassing, that it leads grown men to spend all their spare time, in their mum's basement, writing bitchy reviews of a book they've never read, that is in fact - brilliant.
 

Gopher Brown

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Any reports on RAWK that we're celebrating our victory against Reading like we've 'won the league'?
 

IRELANDUNITED

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Does anyone on here ever look at those "Liverpool v Manchester United banter pages" on Facebook? There is a couple of different ones I think. The level of cringe and biases towards Liverpool make them so difficult to take seriously, plus you can tell from some of the stuff posted that some of the Liverpool posters on the pages are amongst the most idiotic people on Facebook, and that's saying something!
 

NinjaZombie

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Does anyone on here ever look at those "Liverpool v Manchester United banter pages" on Facebook? There is a couple of different ones I think. The level of cringe and biases towards Liverpool make them so difficult to take seriously, plus you can tell from some of the stuff posted that some of the Liverpool posters on the pages are amongst the most idiotic people on Facebook, and that's saying something!
Meh. Goes both ways. Both sets of fans who partake in these things are sad vacuou
s sods.

Laughing at RAWK, however....
 

Badunk

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They will attack mate but in a typical Mourinho way. Best described as a Portugese Pullis.

They will give us no opportunities to press. De Gea will launch it down the channels towards Fellaini and Zlatan. Look to win throw-ins. Launch the throw-ins along the touch line hoping to win another throw-in until they can launch it into the box.

They will time waste at every opportunity, stop us from playing football and look to turn it into a game of set-pieces and the Portugese Pullis will try and ingratiate himself with their rabble in the build up by igniting the hatred, will contest every decision and try and turn it into a bear pit.

Luckily we have Klopp.
This is how England played rugby a decade ago, isn't it?
 

Badunk

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I didn't see the game but I heard a couple of recaps, with the reporters absolutely wetting themselves at their "quality". One of the reporters stated that on this form United "cannot be discounted from any competition they are in".
A few articles point out that Rooney is now svelt and seems to be a lot quicker than he appeared earlier in the year, and Martial is starting to look the player United fans had expected, and of course one of Europes best young prospects. Rashford by all accounts, was nothing but genius, cleaning up numerous times against defenders that just didn;t know what to do to stop him.

All of this playing at home against a championship side...

Europes best are shaking in their boots.
 

Badunk

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Take a point?

feck that. If we go there and get a point, I'll be pissed. They're no great shakes. It'll be like dropping points at any other mid table team, and I'm not being facetious at all. I'm deadly serious. We should be going there to get 3 points. We're better than them and that's all there is to it.
 

Alabaster Codify7

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It really baffles me. This is a team that, one 2nd place aside (freak season), has finished mid-table for how many years now?
 

Badunk

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Confirmation that Johnno has finally gone full scouser:

Putting all rivalry aside John, can't imagine how disappointed you must feel having him as your manager. I know I would and I know you have more Corinthian spirit in your little toe than I have.
You're not wrong about the Portugueser lad!! Cannot abide him - he diminishes the ethos of what once was my boyhood club.
 

Badunk

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JohnnoWhite

  • Deliverer of the -Q- de grace.
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Re: Shanklyboy's auld arse thread - Over 1000 Pages of Wisdom For Young Uns!
« Reply #41184 on: November 7, 2016, 08:25:22 AM »
Impressed with the destruction of Watford yesterday - not on the basis of watching MOTD ( in bed last night at 8.00 with a debilitating attack of man-flu ;-) ;-) ) but by hearing the HT comments of the match commentator. His view was it ought to be closer to 10 with another 45mins + inj time still to come!

I like and have always liked Klopp - a very good mix of a fella that combines clear leadership, sound football nouse and topped of by the appropriate amount of professionalism, humour and focus. That kind of mix in a manager subliminally rubs off onto any squad and you can't ever put a value on that!

Congratulations to LFC on occupying top spot. The big challenge obviously is how to stay put there now that winter's on its way. Not 100% clued up on the depth of his current squad - as a United fan, why would I be?? - but I judge that Jurgen will for certain know who he wants and where he needs additional cover and class to maintain the club's title hopes.

I always have and always will applaud those who play the game the right way - even if (as has been the case over my years following the game) it bloodywell chokingly turns out that it's a Liverpool squad that delivers it!

There's a long way to go yet of course with just 11 games of the season gone (and though it pisses me off to say it) Chelsea having surgically dissected the Toffees this w/e, are beginning to look very scary under Conte.

I am thinking it could be an Arsenal (or Spurs), City, Chelsea and Liverpool 4-way battle for the title. If it can't be (and it won't be) a United title win at season end, then the way Klopp's got his lads performing currently and just as important, manages to stay injury-free with his key players, Liverpool have got my vote.
 

D2Z

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Confirmation that Johnno has finally gone full scouser:
I've been reading quotes on this Johnno guy that are posted in here... is he real..?; or is he a Liverpudlian posing as a United fan? I can't fathom a real United fan posting the things he does.
 

Badunk

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I've been reading quotes on this Johnno guy that are posted in here... is he real..?; or is he a Liverpudlian posing as a United fan? I can't fathom a real United fan posting the things he does.
I've got dozens of scouse friends. Sometimes, if I'm heavily outnumbered, and the rivalry is getting intense, I might consider politely smiling and meekly concede that Liverpool have played well. At no point, however, would I ever say that I love their manager, that they are a fantastic club, while at the same time running down Manchester United at every opportunity.

This guy does.
 

Pexbo

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I've been reading quotes on this Johnno guy that are posted in here... is he real..?; or is he a Liverpudlian posing as a United fan? I can't fathom a real United fan posting the things he does.
My thoughts on him:

Yes it's definitely because of the emoticon thing and not because he's some sort of black magic apparition born from the fumes of the bullshit of 100,000 Scouse claims of a United supporting mate who "is ashamed of the club United have become and understands how corrupt old bacon face was".

Definitely the emoticon thing.